The Night of the Doom-Spider's Army

[SpatulaGeekGirl]

Excuse any typos I make - I got 2 hours sleep last night.

My mum just got a new house and last night was the first night I was to sleep in said house. The previous day I had been sitting on the floor drawing, with a box on my knee to lean on. All of a sudden out of nowhere a spider emerged from behind the box and crawled across the paper. I, shaken by the sight, stood up and dropped the box and paper.

Unfortunately I could not find the spider again and hope of annihilating it was lost.

But I'm pretty sure it was angry with me, for what happened the following night.

Like I said, that night was the first night I was so sleep in the house. I didn't really want to, there are boxes everywhere and it's just not comfortable yet. I settled down to bed at 11, a reasonable time considering I had school the following day. There was a movie on, Cruel Intentions 2...it sucked and played up to the male fantasy that all girls (especially school girl) are sluts and want nothing more than for guys to fuck them. I'm sure there was meant to be some sort of irony in this, or that the movie was not to be taken seriously; I did not see it this way.

Then came the first of the doom spiders, it was on the roof just above the bed. It being 12:30 or so, the spider being so small and I, still pissed of by the film, lead me to be rather brave. I killed it, fast and humane.

But still I was shaken. Another spider appeared at the doorframe, now I'm freaking out. Where did they all come from? I tried to kill this one to, but it somehow eluded me, disappearing as if into thin air.

Now I was scared. Very scared. Yet another spider appeared. This was the evil one. I stayed always out of reach but darted teasingly from side to side, dropping down a few inches on it's web...and climbing slowly back up. That was the last straw, now I'm crying and hyperventilating. I'm surprised I didn't wake my brother who was in the next room. For about two hours I waited, breathing irregularly, willing the spider into a position where I could trap it and obliterate it. No such luck.

It must have been about half two, three in the morning. I was tiered. The lack of sleep I had had the night before was taking its toll on me as I started to hallucinate, my throat was dry and sore from my breathing as was my chest and stomach. Things started looking strange, I could hear hundreds of tiny spiders behind the curtains, flashes and darting shadows framed my vision.

The spider made a mistake, in trailed down just a little to far, into my reach. I waited till it was perfectly in place...and I ended it's little life.

To Be Continued

[TheRealDave]

New houses are scary! Especially with spiders in them. Dont let them get the better of you.. :shifty:

[Alien5]

Happy Killing!

[Guillaume]

Free teh spiderz!!!!!11one http://moderation.invisionzone.com/style_emoticons/default/BBQ.gif

[SpatulaGeekGirl]

Freed from the eight legged watchman I darted for the door ran down the stairs, still crying, and woke up my mum.

"What's wrong?" Mum asked, still mostly asleep.

I paused not knowing quite how to explain there was an army of spiders out to get me. My mother, after all, quite liked spiders and tells me I just have to face my fears. I don't want to face my fears, they're fears, I want to run from them. I told her I couldn’t sleep, there were too many spiders in my room.

"What can I do about that?"

I thought that was a rather harsh thing to say, she could have at least shown a little sympathy.

"Nothing!" I said, "Never mind!" and I stomped away up stairs. The second I got back in my room I started crying again.

The rest of the night was hyperventilation, paranoid glances and hours of "Home-grown Hollywood" on BBC2. Once it got light I felt more inclined to sleep, there hadn't been a spider sighting in an hour or two and the hallucinations were beginning to scare me. Finally I settled down uncomfortable in bed, I kept the TV on for a while but after I realised I couldn't actually make-out what was going on and couldn't concentrate long enough to put two and two together I turned it off. Needless to say sleep came easy. With a few last glances in the mirror my puffy red eye and dark bags convinced me, I was never willingly sleeping here again 'till every spider was gone.

I hate spiders.

End of Part One

I can only just bear to keep my eyes open now, so I'm staying off school today under the condition that I do homework.

[Alien5]

isnt it half term?

[SpatulaGeekGirl]

No, just ended.

[Barbarossa]

http://img381.imageshack.us/img381/3011/auleurillussp2sg.jpg

:yikes:


EDIT: Original site didn't allow hot-linking :(

[TheRealDave]

No, just ended.

That sucks:huh: I've been off for about 2 months now and still have a good 3 weeks left..:01:Results back next week tho':frusty:

[SpatulaGeekGirl]

http://www.treknature.com/images/photos/764/auleurillus_sp.jpg

:yikes:

What teh fook? :blink:

[SpatulaGeekGirl]

No one cares about my spiders!! :cry1:

Btw, spider count it up to 14 now.
14 spiders, 2 moths and a weird mosquito-like-thing.

[manker]

You should sleep with your head underneath the duvet. It's important.


Did you know that the average person, living in the UK, consumes 9 whole spiders per year thro' them crawling into your mouth, and then drowning, while the person sleeps.

[Rat Faced]

Things started looking strange, I could hear hundreds of tiny spiders behind the curtains, flashes and darting shadows framed my vision.


Dont worry about that, they're probably the rats.. :unsure:

[Gripper]

http://www.pestproducts.com/spidertrappicture.htm
You need some of these,or a rolled op paper,I sympathize with ya,damn things make me skin crawl even though they are friends,eating nasty bugs an such,sounds like much squishing is called for

[DarthInsinuate]

last time i had an insect infestation, i couldn't kill any of the buggers because i made a promise to my mother, but when my fellow workmates started dying, i had to break that promise start killing them all one by one, starting with the Big Boss' minions at the ice factory, until i reached BB himself

[SpatulaGeekGirl]

You should sleep with your head underneath the duvet. It's important.


Did you know that the average person, living in the UK, consumes 9 whole spiders per year thro' them crawling into your mouth, and then drowning, while the person sleeps.

I can't sleep with my head under the duvet, it's a small duvet and if I cover my head my feet are exposed. THE SPIDERS WILL EAT MY TOES!!!!!!!!! OH NOOOOOOOOOESSSS!!!!!!!!!!!1111

Why do I never wake up with spiders in my mouth then?

[Guillaume]

The spiders have eaten the board. :fear:

[SpatulaGeekGirl]

They're EVERYWHERE!!!

[manker]

You should sleep with your head underneath the duvet. It's important.


Did you know that the average person, living in the UK, consumes 9 whole spiders per year thro' them crawling into your mouth, and then drowning, while the person sleeps.

I can't sleep with my head under the duvet, it's a small duvet and if I cover my head my feet are exposed. THE SPIDERS WILL EAT MY TOES!!!!!!!!! OH NOOOOOOOOOESSSS!!!!!!!!!!!1111

Why do I never wake up with spiders in my mouth then? Usually the breathing process draws them into the trachea - that's why people cough in the night. Then they disolve in the enzymes in saliva.

Quite harmless, really - unless you're a spider :unsure:


In all seriousness; yes, they will eat your toes if they're left exposed.

[DarthInsinuate]

I can't sleep with my head under the duvet, it's a small duvet and if I cover my head my feet are exposed. THE SPIDERS WILL EAT MY TOES!!!!!!!!! OH NOOOOOOOOOESSSS!!!!!!!!!!!1111

Why do I never wake up with spiders in my mouth then? Usually the breathing process draws them into the trachea - that's why people cough in the night. Then they disolve in the enzymes in saliva.

Quite harmless, really - unless you're a spider :unsure:


In all seriousness; yes, they will eat your toes if they're left exposed.
is this a rod, i just did a web search for 'spider sleep myth' :dry:

[brotherdoobie]

I would make an offering to their gods...a small child perhaps.

Peace bd

[Barbarossa]

No one cares about my spiders!! :cry1:

Btw, spider count it up to 14 now.
14 spiders, 2 moths and a weird mosquito-like-thing.

The only dangerous one is the mozzie...

Squish it!! Squish it flat! Squish it DEAD!!!!!!!!!

:angry:

[SpatulaGeekGirl]

It won't really be a mosquito, we don't get them in Scotland. :unsure:

[SpatulaGeekGirl]

And

16 spiders, 5 moths and two mosquito-like-things.

[Gripper]

Close your feckin windows when you have teh light on :)

[manker]

And

16 23 spiders, 5 8 moths and two four mosquito-like-things.You forgot to include the ones you almost definitely ate while sleeping last night :shifty:

[DarthInsinuate]

there's a possibility one of the buggers laid eggs under your skin and now they're hatching. that would explain where they're all coming from

[SpatulaGeekGirl]

:lol: Nice, very nice.

My mum's angry 'cause I'm too scared to go 'round to her house. :unsure:

[Barbarossa]

:lol: Nice, very nice.

My mum's angry 'cause I'm too scared to go 'round to her house. :unsure:

Well she'd better clean up the shitty mess that attracts all the bugs then! :lol:

[GepperRankins]

i was going to sleep when i saw something on my wall move. i thought wtf is that?!, turned the light on and got my camera....

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v210/TheDave/one.jpg

i tried comparing it to a CD several times but the pictures didn't turn out well. here you can just about see the little bastard running at my hand holding the CD....

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v210/TheDave/two.jpg

here's me trying to compare it to my phone instead....

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v210/TheDave/three.jpg

then it had a go at my phone too....

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v210/TheDave/four.jpg

here's the best picture i got, and the last of him alive....

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v210/TheDave/five.jpg

where he landed after DC pwnage....

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v210/TheDave/six.jpg

i tried to get it to stretch out but it just kept curling up....

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v210/TheDave/seven.jpg

so i flushed him down the bog.




normally i use a glass and a bit of paper then chuck 'em out the window. this one would have glassed me and wrote rude things about me

[Barbarossa]

normally i use a glass and a bit of paper then chuck 'em out the window. this one would have glassed me and wrote rude things about me

Your spider was small and weedy.

We have spiders that would eat your spider for breakfast! :huh:

[Gripper]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v481/gripper103/camelspiders.jpg

Like this you mean:)

[Guillaume]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v210/TheDave/three.jpg

Is that an N-Gage? :lol:

[DarthInsinuate]

http://img297.imageshack.us/img297/6297/viccifez9di.jpg

b3ta is pretty teh roxc00r

[GepperRankins]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v210/TheDave/three.jpg

Is that an N-Gage? :lol:
yes, one of the big ones mind :snooty:





big ones with an unstable mp3 player and needs setting up everytime a game or battery is changed :dry:

[Guillaume]

/points finger and laughs. :P

[Barbarossa]

A Final Solution to the spider problem:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20050902/od_nm/germany_spiders_dc


BERLIN (Reuters) - A German woman laid waste to her family home by setting fire to it as she tried to kill spiders in a garage with a can of hairspray and a cigarette lighter.

Police in the western town of Zuelpich said that when the aerosol failed to finish them off, the 34-year-old woman tried to burn them with the lighter. However, this set the area she had just sprayed on fire and the blaze spread to a hedge.

"It was a series of unfortunate events which led to the damage," a police spokesman said Thursday.

"She tried to put the fire out with a garden hose, but couldn't. Instead her semi-detached house next to the hedge caught fire. It's now uninhabitable."

Firefighters managed to extinguish the blaze and save the neighboring house, which sustained broken windows and some charring. The spokesman estimated the total cost of the damage at well over 100,000 euros. No one was hurt.

"The family have had to look for somewhere else to stay," he said. "The spiders are gone though -- that problem was solved."

[Spider_dude]

tzzzz