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Infested Cats
04-26-2003, 04:25 AM
Just incase you didn't want to read through all the posts, I've compiled all the text from the "3 word story (http://www.klboard.ath.cx/bb/index.php?act=ST&f=5&t=29683&s=)" topic. I've tried spacing the story according to where it appeared there was a break in the immediate happenings, correcting spelling, grammer and some sentance structure in attempt to make it a little easier to understand... but the story still makes little to no (and I mean NO) sense. Also, an ellipsis (...) indicates where the story significantly trails off, and restarts on the next line, which indicates new events. As more is added to the "3 word story" post, I will continue to add here.

---LET THE STORY COMMENCE---

A man once had a dinner and found out he was dead. Later that day, Bender just appeared revived him with. Forest Animals danced a lascivious lip lock while drinking Irish tainted beer today, and animals danced. In particular, Hobbes realized he was already in hell because he had seen several evils while downloading from the naked news. The next day he felt like having a tainted beer. Empowered by passion, something else came after him from the rear. It had antlers and rusted forceps with a huge Mug of Beer and tiny robots with flashing lights that would cause a temporary blindness with itching reactions in certain areas...

The Kangaroo Court was a good piece of cherry pie. The apple of my eye burned, yet tasted like chicken and induced projectile vomiting and hamburgers, showing little regard for what he does when he's alone or when he’s with a woman twice his size who has a fetish for meaty, sweaty, foolishly disgusting hapless forum posters like Infested Cats that bit off J2K4's rather small test-icicles (oww!) which killed him while eating a very spicy and bold dinner. Alas, the end of the constipation.

"Wha..the..fu..?" Riddler said, before the convulsions started under his green butt. He farted, and out popped Andrew Lloyed Webber and Micheal Flatley. If he could just remember the first dinner that big-boobed girl chewed for him, everything would be like that time she blew my red balloon inside the Baffoon Shop's Red Fire truck...

And everything I once believed is just a dream that donkeys kill mice is well-known. "Waa Waa Waa!" screamed the mouse at evil skweeky who grinned evilly. The poor mouse hid behind a cheese mountain, or greased furnace, that I ate. But evil skweeky went crazy and stole Curley's Whip money to buy a magical broom, a large box, and a non-pirated CD. These were 3 things he never thought would destroy the Warlock! But now the real evil petitioned for amnesty in an ancient quarrel between morally wrong nuclear squirrels. Not yet conscious, but undoubtedly puzzled, and sure to settle this possession of the holy meaning...

Whatever that cat dragged in isn't my mother! But then again... who gives a flying fuck man... He was stupid, ate a cow and killed the triple poster, who still stays. We need porn so Frodo can kill the spammer with a huge, monstrous, rubbery, bouncing, slithering milk man holding an enormous shovel and digging in the dirt. He thinks, "SHIT! I missed the goddamn spammer!" So, he kills badgers, but eats burgers, while singing his favorite lullaby. Suddenly, out of nowhere...

(you guys aren’t very nice about my triple posting)...

So, I slapped the gay man, and everyone here, with a large trout. Forget about that large marital aid who said, "What the hell is more satisfying than a big loaf of bread?" Maybe a large big dildo with dancing wombles shoveling triple posters over soaping my ass with some bricks.

Meanwhile... the Warlock casted magic porn on wolfmight's body, who enjoyed it a lot.

Curley's whip mastered all who gazed at the porn, but not the paint drying on the spiders tush that was gold plated and very...

The Spider farted poison onto the eyes of "Mr. Fuh K. Me" Chinese-man who was a big hot girl that wolfmight liked to titfuck and dump on a speeding car that's ugly. The car pulled over a burning monkey. The Driver went GTA3 style onto a cop's windshield, then stole a flying boat which broke down and wept uncontrollably like a sad...

Billy Bob's cousin molested riddler until he started to excrete from every single sweaty, dirty, crab infested opening, and riddler said, "What the FUCK is that?! AHH!!"

"I Think you broke the nun's jaw!" She wanted Jake and Elwood, but they ran towards the steaming fatman named Bungholicausto. Toilet paper flowed from his greasy, fat hands, that clenched onto his atomic anus, which then expelled...

10 years later, the man committed suicide. So, Britney, the really hot chick said, "I'm actually having plastic surgery and a penis enlargement on my breasts, just for you wolfy."

He shouted, "I'M CORNHOLIO!"

yaa..heh. heh.

I Need T.P. for (you guessed it!) my bum hole!

The Tree moon camel went up the camel toe mountain and jumped on the phallic symbol, but his size was too big. Even lubricant couldn't get him to slide straight in. So we stopped to get our act together and rolled a big fat man downhill. He bounced greasy, and suddenly remembered, this was liposuction.

The new born midget, amazed, but still scared, and very mentally insane, got up and found he was abducted by aliens! His body was strapped to a slab of frozen spaghetti, which felt cold but was somewhat arousing. The straps broke, and the midget jumped onto the passing dragon that looked like his older sister... or did it? The dragon snatched the midget by his tiny... little? (cough) his large elastic pool cue. The midget quickly turned, and jumped off the purple dinosaur, and sliced its cucumber into two exact same pieces! The midget enlarged his third arm to masturbate the dragon, a precautionary measure that turned out to cum the dragon. "Aaaaahhh! Finally Free!"

A bird swooped and pooped on him. He said, "Delete last post." But he meant, "Argh. Edit: Typo." So he did.

Meanwhile, in the town "Gothmok" the brave bold hero confronted Gothman, and drank tainted beer, but thinking, "What? He's NOT dead?" He then thought, "Maybe..." A short, yet meaningful idea popped into his mind: "Should I give head... I'm not sure..."

Argh, what the hell is that?!?

The table-brain-car raced around the girl's changing room, stumbled over her panties, and broke into little bitty liquid pieces. It then pulled a P90, shot Gothman, and went to Disneyland. Once there, Mickey, disguised as Gothman, started licking men’s ice cream unconsciously. He then realized he spelt "men’s" wrong. So, he added an apostrophe to it... ehm... just had to make it melt together again! Mickey felt a young Swedish student, just in reach of his arms. His arms spread out wide, then into the unforgiving sea urchin's mouth. It then swallowed Mickey whole. He tasted like "smelly-off-children." Mickey had drank meths, tainted beer, and VLADIGOOD vodka. He fell onto a very hard fossilized T-Rex poo, and realized immediately, "I'm in deep shit!" He then rushed to his computer screaming... That was 5 years ago...

A giant shmuck triple-quoted, which caused severe brain injury.

You don't want this nuke up there...

Shut the fuck up.

Lopadotemachoselachogaleokranioleipsanodrimhypotrimmatosilphiopar aomelitokatakechymenokichlepikossyphophattoperisteralektryonopteke phalliokigklopeleiolagoiosiraiobaphetraganopterygon you guy!...

He said, "Please, End this post!" but got no remuneration, and so he blew his head (OK, enough already!) clean off with a pistol! The end...

Who really cares?...

The sequel pops out...

A geek named "Got Memory" once walked to the local internet cafe and drank tainted beer. He searched online for the KLite Forum, posted cafe's software in the wrong section, stared at the Foodworld section, licked his monkey-pop, ate a flapjack, and hacked the cafe. He quickly left to save Hardware World. He met Mr.CIAdude and let out a really big fart. Unfortunately, it was by a flame, and he was wearing lighter fluid covered underwear. His pants burst into big purple flames, kind of like Barney’s little dick, fucking a big purple pimp, who said, “WHY!”...

The fucking end…

A century later, a big purple Teletubby named TinkleYourWinkle phoned his friend Sadumbass, the insane. They went to see real Cancun, to shake their booty. Sadumbass jacked off all over himself... on Tinkle also...

5 hours passed...

“Door,” “Fly,” and “Plastic” are three words, not normally seen on Tinkle’s wall, but they meant so many things to sleepy mice and fitbaw lads, who like Celtic man-eating donkeys, which ate Lamsey. With a P90?...

HEY! Not NICE!

The mouse gave flowers to Curley’s mom, who danced with Rat Faced in the ballroom of Celtic Park, where the town “Gothmok” is remembered. Rocktron saved the ugly maidens, and this story! Goats touched him, and that eerie feeling started again... The strange scent of dried blood exarchated. His sick imagination ran wildly among his sane thoughts, which were also corrupted. He then fell into a well full of pudding. Though, he hit his dong on a sharp stone... but help was underway! They tried flexing his big ass and used sandpaper on his aching red nose, but his long, hairy gerbil was definitely toast. This exacerbated it...

It felt and smelled like a barbarian’s armpit, after humping a very fat cat wrapped in bacon with litter box cling-ons.

On a summer night in Tijuana, our hero finally remembered the plot. That he was in “deep shit.”

A fatamorgana of a K-Lite board needed his brain...

Holy WTF Batman!

Stunned and full of candied yams and friend cheese, his quest clears… Aaah yes. Finally. He became stoned and drunk absinthe, which anaesthetized him...

Huh...? Mom...? Dad...?

It was horrible. Suddenly he vomited, and out came an annoying mod, who presented himself as measily, dirty, horrific, but upright and easy to “bend.” Hamburgers, fries, and ketchup tickled his senses, while he swept the floor again with an umbrella, and his tongue did the dishes...

The phone rings! “Yes?”
“Hello...?”
“Who wants to suck...?”
Astonished by this childish answer he says, “Suck What I Hear You Ask!”
Still not sure, he says, “Chicken Taste's good!”
“Wow! Who’s this?”
“The tight fish!”
“Huh???” Then suddenly, someone punched his face!
“Gothman, is it you?” Silence filled the bathtub with carp. So, he hung up, and called Pizza-Hut.
“Hello, I’d like two pizza’s, but NO anchovy, ok? Worms came from the bubbled pizza stained with brown babies. He ate it, sure, but assuredly not aware of the danger... His bowls began to swell rapidly, so he rushed into Tilen’s ass, lighting a torch. Finally, he awoke from his nightmare, drenched in sweat… or did he? It was horrible, but compared to someone like you... looks aren’t everything...

It is not, and everything isn't, the way it smells...

A small albino goblin named Yellow-Man shattered a huge blue elephant. The elephant let out a Weemouse, who ate Swiss and Gouda. The Weemouse squealed in utter delight tasting the cheese, and so left school. Rat Faced was made a mod, but the hero is always Weemouse! What they didn’t do was skip to the sound of Weemouse eating corned diapers all dripping in moldy cheese!...

On the planet Hooteropia, men like hamburgers walked on by voluptuous women.

Wolfmight
04-26-2003, 04:27 AM
Thanks! I appreciate it!
Hehehe some of it makes sense i suppose. hmm we can post another copy of the whole sucker when it's 2-4 times as long too i suppose.

jetje
04-26-2003, 11:49 AM
If it's about 300 pages we can try to go to a publisher.. make some money with it.... ;)
Or will it be e-booked.... :lol:

Riddler
04-26-2003, 11:53 AM
:lol: I actually know people who'd pay good $ for it........AND think it made perfect sense ! :P

Curley
04-26-2003, 02:05 PM
:lol: :lol: :lol:

pyromonkey
04-26-2003, 02:33 PM
good job infested cats!
its alot easier to read it here than to click... click...click through every page!

Rocktron
04-26-2003, 02:40 PM
Hhahahahah! Great stuff!
And the story is still running! I hope you will add the rest of it?!

Who knows where this ends.. (Like the Topic starter said in the first place!) (Wolfmight)
It was a great idea, and it's turned out better than you thought.., didn't it? :lol: ;)

ShareActor
04-26-2003, 02:51 PM
Super super Infested Cats! (you did some editing for the better ;) )

Can't wait how all of this turns out!

Spindulik
04-26-2003, 02:54 PM
That's funny! Thanks for compiling it.

Infested Cats
04-26-2003, 03:50 PM
Originally posted by Rocktron@26 April 2003 - 09:40
And the story is still running! I hope you will add the rest of it?!
Of course! I have nothing better to do with my time! lol
If you'll notice, I've added the latest happenings from the story!

Bender
04-26-2003, 07:03 PM
Originally posted by Infested Cats+26 April 2003 - 17:50--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Infested Cats @ 26 April 2003 - 17:50)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteBegin--Rocktron@26 April 2003 - 09:40
And the story is still running&#33; I hope you will add the rest of it?&#33;
Of course&#33; I have nothing better to do with my time&#33; lol
If you&#39;ll notice, I&#39;ve added the latest happenings from the story&#33;[/b][/quote]
Keep adding, IF. :lol:
It&#39;s much easier to **cough** understand **cough**it this way. :)

scribblec
04-26-2003, 08:12 PM
Originally posted by Riddler@26 April 2003 - 11:53
:lol: I actually know people who&#39;d pay good &#036; for it........AND think it made perfect sense &#33; :P
i want a share
:P :P

kAb
04-27-2003, 03:57 AM
this is to cool :P

awesome&#33;

Infested Cats
04-27-2003, 03:59 AM
Originally posted by Got_memory?+in the "3 Word Story" post - page 25--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Got_memory? @ in the "3 Word Story" post - page 25)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'>(Infested Cats, I am sorry, this is going to make it really hard to compile... good luck&#33; It makes absolutely NO sense now.... Oops, thats over 3 words&#33; )[/b]
You said it man, but as you can tell, I&#39;ve managed. Just take a look how I&#39;ve managed to edit some of the "more difficult to interperet" posts. :lol:
This is pretty damn interesting/funny&#33;&#33;

<!--QuoteBegin--Bender@above&#33;
Keep adding, IF.[/quote]
Agh&#33;&#33; My name&#33;&#33;

Wolfmight
04-27-2003, 04:24 AM
hmm well novelists might like it to get some humerous ideas :lol:

Z
04-27-2003, 04:47 AM
this must be published. anyone know a publisher? :lol:

The Wise Man
04-27-2003, 04:53 AM
That story was really hilarious. :w00t:
Thanks for compiling it Infested Cats.

infamousalbo101
04-27-2003, 04:55 AM
i dont think it can ever finish

Rocktron
04-28-2003, 03:01 PM
Originally posted by Infested Cats+26 April 2003 - 16:50--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Infested Cats @ 26 April 2003 - 16:50)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin--Rocktron@26 April 2003 - 09:40
And the story is still running&#33; I hope you will add the rest of it?&#33;
Of course&#33; I have nothing better to do with my time&#33; lol
If you&#39;ll notice, I&#39;ve added the latest happenings from the story&#33; [/b][/quote]
Yes i noticed man&#33; Great stuff (only pieces is spelled wrong :blink: )
But the story is going and going, and i hope it runs for a long long time&#33;
I&#39;m having to much fun with this whole thing every day&#33;

Thanks Wolfmight for starting this thread in the first place and Infested Cats for compiling it&#33; ;) :lol:

N£MO
04-28-2003, 03:05 PM
That story is sheer brilliance&#33;&#33; :lol:

Make it into an e-book too as never ending story.Updated every month or so. :)

j2k4
04-28-2003, 04:13 PM
"..a huge roller-coaster of a novel, crammed with sizzling gypsys&#33;"
N.Y. Times-
"..a chick book on wheels..."
Maxim-
"..The feel-good story of the year-A Pulitzer contender&#33;&#33;"
Detroit Free Press-
"..It made THIS reviewer dewy...."
Woman&#39;s Day-
"..Me SO horny&#33;&#33;&#33;&#33;&#33;
Joyce Carole Oates-
"..a thriller of the first order-I was afraid to sleep&#33;&#33;"
Stephen King-
"..Infested Cats has supplanted ME as &#39;Master of the Techno-Thriller&#33;&#33;"
Tom Clancy-
"..It&#39;s not as good as MY book&#33;&#33;&#33;"
Madonna-
"..serves to clarify the Mid-east situation wonderfully&#33;"
Robert Novak-
".. a "must-read" for fans of great cooking&#33;&#33;&#33;"
Cleveland Plain Dealer-
"..It will be in mah lahbrary fore shore&#33;"
Bill Clinton-
"..pulls no punches-TELLS ALL&#33;&#33;&#33;&#33;&#33;&#33;
People-

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Infested Cats
04-28-2003, 07:47 PM
Fixed a few spelling errors, and added the most recent updates&#33;

Rocktron
04-28-2003, 08:30 PM
Great Infested Cats&#33; Really great&#33;

I copy all of it in a .txt file for safe keeping&#33; ;)
You never know what happens to the database of this board right?

I don&#39;t know how you do it, but i can imagine it&#39;s a lot of work&#33; So respects&#33;&#33;&#33;&#33; :lol: :D ;)

The story go&#39;s on and on and it&#39;s getting more eerie and creepy every time...
I hope our Board members add more to it. But i also hope they read the story first (the new readers)
Because it is worth reading, it really is.... sometimes it go&#39;s nowhere, but suddenly the story grows into something.. special.

Can&#39;t wait what the outcome is....

Kid1A
04-28-2003, 08:53 PM
This Is A Great Idea, top marks to who-ever started it

Rocktron
04-28-2003, 09:01 PM
Originally posted by Kid1A@28 April 2003 - 21:53
This Is A Great Idea, top marks to who-ever started it
That would be Wolfmight &#33;

Bender
04-29-2003, 01:11 PM
Originally posted by Infested Cats+27 April 2003 - 05:59--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Infested Cats @ 27 April 2003 - 05:59)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteBegin--Bender@above&#33;
Keep adding, IF.
Agh&#33;&#33; My name&#33;&#33;[/b][/quote]
Wasn&#39;t your name Infested Fats? Did you change it? :huh:

:lol: Sorry&#33; ;)

Rocktron
04-30-2003, 03:55 PM
Hhahaha :lol: :lol: cracking me up with this one&#33;

The story is still going strong and getting more weird everytime i read it... :unsure: :D

FuNkY CaPrIcOrN
04-30-2003, 04:12 PM
:angry: No mention of Colt 45 no where.It was drank a few times in the story. :angry:

Kid1A
05-01-2003, 11:12 AM
taking this back to the top&#33;

Wolfmight
05-04-2003, 06:35 AM
Originally posted by Kid1A@1 May 2003 - 12:12
taking this back to the top&#33;
same here man.

Keep up the great work Infested Cats.