JP's Harshity - all an interweb act, isn't it.

[manker]

I was in bed, reading. The lad wouldn't sleep and was creating merry hell around me but he seemed happy enough so I left him to it.

The phone rang - now normally I don't answer it to numbers I don't know but I did and was greeted by a someone 'looking for manker' who initially sounded Pakistani but then I later realised it was Scotch.

I thought it must be Spider_dude because he is the only Scot who rings me so conducted the conversation as if it was him. After much confusion and me telling 'Liam' to stfu and this 'Jim' telling me that his name wasn't 'Ian', I realised it was JP. I'd never spoken to him before, so it was quite a novelty.

I don't have total recall of the conversation but I do remember JP telling me that my plan to phone at 9:30 the next morning to say whether I needed an extra ticket to Keano's testimonial (the reason for the phonecall) was an "Ideal idea" - which I thought highly amusing in an 'at not with' kinda way.

Anyhow. By now the boy was playing up a bit and obviously wanted me to stop talking on the phone - so I said this to JP:

Me: Sorry, I need to see to my Son. Sorry I can't stop on and chat.
JP: What?
Me: Sorry I can't stay and chat but the lad ... .
JP <interrupting>: I heard what you said; the chances of me actually phoning up someone from the interweb is nigh on fucking zero so if you think for a second that I'm wanting to stay and chat then you're mistaken.

<slight pause>

JP: In fact, after this conversation, I hope I never have to speak to you ever again. Sorry if that sounds harsh.

Me <laughing>: Well, okay that's fair enough, I'll have to phone tomorrow tho'.
JP: Sure. Bye now.

Click.

I'm paraphrasing, obviously, and maybe it wasn't as harsh as all that - more jovial - but I was like :o

[Proper Bo]

he didn't even pretend to be phoning with your aids test results like i said he should?:shocked:

[manker]

He might have - I was rly confused at the start of the conversation and wasn't yet tuned into foreign-speak.

[Proper Bo]

note: you should point out that "the lad" is your bairn, not a pet name for your boyfriend. just for people who don't know, like.

edit: just noticed you mentioned "son" a few times:pinch:

[Mr JP Fugley]

Other than me saying "Sorry if that sounds overly harsh" that's pretty much it.

Had it just been harsh I would have felt no need to make mention of it. That seems fair enough.

[Proper Bo]

He might have - I was rly confused at the start of the conversation and wasn't yet tuned into foreign-speak.

did he larf at your silly accent?:smilie4:

infact, it'd have been a "who sounds daftest"-athon:P

[Mr JP Fugley]

he didn't even pretend to be phoning with your aids test results like i said he should?:shocked:
I tried to, but soon realized I was dealing with a befuddled dolt and decided to "dumb it down".

Imagine my horror when he apologized for not being in a position to carry on, with an extended conversation. I'm a guy for fuck sake, get the business sorted and hang the fuck up. Burds and emos "chat".

How it should have gone.

Me - Is that manker

manker - Indeed.

Me - Do you have a mate who wants a free ticket for the game, manutd end.

manker - Not sure. I'll ask about.

Me - OK, phone me in the morning.

click.

[Proper Bo]

you=more manly than manker.

fact.

(he's phoned me just for a chat before:no:)

[Mr JP Fugley]

you=more manly than manker.

fact.

(he's phoned me just for a chat before:no:)
Beore what.:sick:

[manker]

There was me feeling pretty chuffed that you phoned :emo:




Btw, that aids test result thing wouldn't really have worked with JP only knowing my screen name.

[Proper Bo]

Btw, that aids test result thing wouldn't really have worked with JP only knowing my screen name.

you know, he never even asked for your real name:lol:

[Proper Bo]

you=more manly than manker.

fact.

(he's phoned me just for a chat before:no:)
Beore what.:sick:

beore I called him a gay and laughed at his silly accent:schnauz:

[manker]

you=more manly than manker.

fact.

(he's phoned me just for a chat before:no:)
You talked more than me during that phonecall :snooty:

Also, you asked me to phone you when we were on MSN one night because you were fed up of typing.


I declined :smilie4:

[Proper Bo]

you=more manly than manker.

fact.

(he's phoned me just for a chat before:no:)
You talked more than me during that phonecall :snooty:

Also, you asked me to phone you when we were on MSN one night because you were fed up of typing.


I declined :smilie4:
rodoff, ghey

[manker]

Seriously you're the most chatty bloke I know.

Dave will back me up (oo-er).

[Proper Bo]

all ghey propaganda:no:

[Mr JP Fugley]

Btw, that aids test result thing wouldn't really have worked with JP only knowing my screen name.

you know, he never even asked for your real name:lol:
Why in the name of Lionel Blair would I want to know his real name. Yeah right.

"Hello, Brian, my name's Jim, you know me as JP on the internet, I believe you go by the name manker" Who are you people.

I remember, when he actually told me it, thinking. "Why the fuck are you telling me this. It is if no conceivable interest to me. It certainly won't make us "closer"".

[Proper Bo]

I'd just feel like a tit phoning and asking for "manker"

[Proper Bo]

hypothetically, if you phoned robert00000000, would you actually say all those zeros?:blink:

[manker]

you know, he never even asked for your real name:lol:
Why in the name of Lionel Blar would I want to know his real name. Yeah right.

"Hello, Brian, my name's Jim, you know me as JP on the internet, I believe you go by the name manker" Who are you people.

I remember, when he actually told me it, thinking. "Why the fuck are you telling me this. It is if no conceivable interest to me. It certainly won't make us "closer"".Scotch people sound like an Pakistani who has learned English from an American when they say 'manker'. Fact.

I wanted the horror to stop.

[Proper Bo]

Why in the name of Lionel Blar would I want to know his real name. Yeah right.

"Hello, Brian, my name's Jim, you know me as JP on the internet, I believe you go by the name manker" Who are you people.

I remember, when he actually told me it, thinking. "Why the fuck are you telling me this. It is if no conceivable interest to me. It certainly won't make us "closer"".Scotch people sound like an Pakistani who has learned English from an American when they say 'manker'. Fact.

I wanted the horror to stop.
:no:

[manker]

hypothetically, if you phoned robert00000000, would you actually say all those zeros?:blink:
Well, no but I call you 'Bo' even though I know your real name.

A girl's name seems more appropriate.

[GepperRankins]

manker is the chattiest gay evar

[GepperRankins]

manker is the chattiest gay evar

[NikkiD]

So are you lot past the "I'm on the phone with someone from the interweb and I don't have the faintest clue what to say" phase yet? I remember speaking to Sonja for the first time on the phone and the two of us just giggling for about five minutes before giving up and saying goodbye. Or is that just a girl thing.

To answer your question though, yes, JP's harshity is just an act. He's really a lovely person.

[GepperRankins]

only two internet people have ever phoned me. whenever it's spider_dude, we get confused by eachothers accent then hang up. when manker phones he always tries to kick off a conversation about what i'm wearing :dabs:

[manker]

So are you lot past the "I'm on the phone with someone from the interweb and I don't have the faintest clue what to say" phase yet? I remember speaking to Sonja for the first time on the phone and the two of us just giggling for about five minutes before giving up and saying goodbye. Or is that just a girl thing.

To answer your question though, yes, JP's harshity is just an act. He's really a lovely person.
I usually always phone interweb people only when drunk, so the giggling may just be a girl thing.

As is the thinking JP is a lovely person - he's putting it on so you'll send pics of your tits :smilie4:

[Guillaume]

the two of us just giggling for about five minutes before giving up and saying goodbye. Or is that just a girl thing.
Yes.
We guys guffaw.

edit: fecking board is acting up again.

[manker]

only two internet people have ever phoned me. whenever it's spider_dude, we get confused by eachothers accent then hang up. when manker phones he always tries to kick off a conversation about what i'm wearing :dabs:You never wear clothes when at your computer - and you're always at your computer so for me to ask what you're wearing would be kinda stupid.

[Mr JP Fugley]

Here's the truth NikkiD.

I thought Bo had ripped the pish out of me and that I had fallen for it.

When the phone was answered here's 3 things it DIDN'T sound.

1. Welsh

2. Male

3. Twenties.

In short (and sorry if this is overly harsh). I thought Bo had given me the number of a teenage English lass he knew and perhaps hadn't let her in on the joke. Imagine how that would have looked for a middle aged married man with hundreds of weans. Small wonder I proclaimed that we would never speak again and hung up the phone, pronto style.

[manker]

/blocked

[NikkiD]

As is the thinking JP is a lovely person - he's putting it on so you'll send pics of your tit :smilie4:

Haven't you all seen enough pics of Jonno?

[manker]

As is the thinking JP is a lovely person - he's putting it on so you'll send pics of your tit :smilie4:

Haven't you all seen enough pics of Jonno?
:lol: :D

I don't think the interweb can hold anymore.




/blockedFeck, that's something The would do.

Now I know how he feels when I pwn him with harshity.

[NikkiD]

Here's the truth NikkiD.

I thought Bo had ripped the pish out of me and that I had fallen for it.

When the phone was answered here's 3 things it DIDN'T sound.

1. Welsh

2. Male

3. Twenties.

In short (and sorry if this is overly harsh). I thought Bo had given me the number of a teenage English lass he knew and perhaps hadn't let her in on the joke. Imagine how that would have looked for a middle aged married man with hundreds of weans. Small wonder I proclaimed that we would never speak again and hung up the phone, pronto style.

:glag:

Seriously.

[Guillaume]

/blockedFeck, that's something The would do.

Now I know how he feels when I pwn him with harshity.[/QUOTE]
Pull a yogi then. I'm sure your cyber-manlove buddy at that english comedy tracker will welcome you with open arms.

[Mr JP Fugley]

Haven't you all seen enough pics of Jonno?
:lol: :D

I don't think the interweb can hold anymore.




/blockedFeck, that's something The would do.

Now I know how he feels when I pwn him with harshity.
Hah, the cawks in the other sheath now, Mr lah de da Brian.

[Mr JP Fugley]

Here's the truth NikkiD.

I thought Bo had ripped the pish out of me and that I had fallen for it.

When the phone was answered here's 3 things it DIDN'T sound.

1. Welsh

2. Male

3. Twenties.

In short (and sorry if this is overly harsh). I thought Bo had given me the number of a teenage English lass he knew and perhaps hadn't let her in on the joke. Imagine how that would have looked for a middle aged married man with hundreds of weans. Small wonder I proclaimed that we would never speak again and hung up the phone, pronto style.

:glag:

Seriously.

Ask someone who has spoken to him.

They have identified themselves here (plus cheese).

In fact cheese has spoken in person, he can confirm if that is more or less like a pubescent English lass.

[manker]

Silly buggers :no:

I am considered as quite the alpha male in these parts - and that's nowt to do with lack of competition.

[Mr JP Fugley]

Silly buggers :no:

I am considered as quite the alpha male in these parts - and that's nowt to do with lack of competition.
these parts = your office.

You are Alpha male, over 4 hawt blonde burds, with big bewbs, who you pay.

[Gripper]

I vote this one of the best threads I've read for ages :glag:

[NikkiD]

:glag:

Seriously.

Ask someone who has spoken to him.

They have identified themselves here (plus cheese).

In fact cheese has spoken in person, he can confirm if that is more or less like a pubescent English lass.

PM me his phone number - I'll verify for myself when I get home from work tonight. :whistling

[Sextent]

What sort of person would give another person's phone number out without asking them?

Then not even telling them that they had given it.

That's just not safe.

[DorisInsinuate]

What sort of person would give another person's phone number out without asking them?

Then not even telling them that they had given it.

That's just not safe.
J'P would do it, I hear he can be a bit harsh.

[Gripper]

What sort of person would give another person's phone number out without asking them?

Then not even telling them that they had given it.

That's just not safe.
Welcome to Teh Lounge,a life less ordainary,for people who like living on the edge:w00t:

[Sextent]

Why not just phone manker and say that someone has asked for the number? Then manker can decide. He also wouldn't been surprised when he got the call.

Although we wouldn't have had this thread then, which was well worth it. But if I was Manker I would be pissed of.

[Spider_dude]

ive spoke to manker and dave before and most of the time i have no idea what they are saying, the only one i understand is dan "innit" b.

[NikkiD]

Or I could live dangerously and just PM manker my phone number and wait for the next time he's drunk.

[Sextent]

Or I could live dangerously and just PM manker my phone number and wait for the next time he's drunk.
:lol:

[Guillaume]

Or I could live dangerously and just PM manker my phone number and wait for the next time he's drunk.
He'd just beg for cigarettes.

[NikkiD]

Or I could live dangerously and just PM manker my phone number and wait for the next time he's drunk.
He'd just beg for cigarettes.

I'd be mean and light one, and blow smoke in his ear.

[Sextent]

He'd just beg for cigarettes.

I'd be mean and light one, and blow smoke in his ear.
If I PM you my number will you do me as well :blushing:

[NikkiD]

I'd be mean and light one, and blow smoke in his ear.
If I PM you my number will you do me as well :blushing:

Have you recently given up smoking as well then?

[Sextent]

If I PM you my number will you do me as well :blushing:

Have you recently given up smoking as well then?
Not recently, but I still have some cravings.

[DanB]

ive spoke to manker and dave before and most of the time i have no idea what they are saying, the only one i understand is dan "innit" b.


That's cos I live near the Queen so I speak properly.


And no I don't mean Baz :dry:

[Spider_dude]

junno?

[missie]

i couldn't get zero off the phone to me ma a while ago, so i just let 'em blether at each other for ages. they were probably slagging me orf. :no:

[Guillaume]

i couldn't get zero off the phone to me ma a while ago, so i just let 'em blether at each other for ages. they were probably slagging me orf. :no:
He's still alive then?

[missie]

uh huh. at least he was larst week. :unsure:

[Fromagepas]

ive spoke to manker and dave before and most of the time i have no idea what they are saying, the only one i understand is dan "innit" b.


That's cos I live near the Queen so I speak properly.

No Dan, you live "at Her Majesty's pleasure" that's not the same.

[manker]

Silly buggers :no:

I am considered as quite the alpha male in these parts - and that's nowt to do with lack of competition.
these parts = your office.

You are Alpha male, over 4 hawt blonde burds, with big bewbs, who you pay.Yeah but there are male clients in and out of my office all of the time. Of course, in strict accordance with my 'me me me' policy, I only take on hawt burd and ugly middle aged bloke clients.

However, I did mean the local pub, rather than the office (which is a given) - but I suspect everyone knew that and nodded their silent agreement :sage:

[manker]

What sort of person would give another person's phone number out without asking them?

Then not even telling them that they had given it.

That's just not safe.
Hoi! We've done the fight club joke.

[Gripper]

Having me doubts with ya waving that pumping pink cawk about :parsley:

[Mr JP Fugley]

What sort of person would give another person's phone number out without asking them?

Then not even telling them that they had given it.

That's just not safe.
Hoi! We've done the fight club joke.
I'm not Bo :rosemary:

[manker]

Hoi! We've done the fight club joke.
I'm not Bo :rosemary:
DABS

[Mr JP Fugley]

I'm not Bo :rosemary:
DABS
See, I have absolutely no fucking idea what that means.

[manker]

I think we've been thro' this and I've decreed that it means 'unimpressed'.

[GepperRankins]

omg a female11 :dry:

[Mr JP Fugley]

I think we've been thro' this and I've decreed that it means 'unimpressed'.
You're unimpressed with me not being Bo.:blink:

It makes me happier than Mrs Happy's happiest son, that's enough for me.

[manker]

Enough roddery.

Something quite extraordinary has just happened because of this thread - so extraordinary, in fact, that I may have to make yet another thread about it.

[Mr JP Fugley]

Enough roddery.

Something quite extraordinary has just happened because of this thread - so extraordinary, in fact, that I may have to make yet another thread about it.
You, another thread :ohmy:

[Proper Bo]

I just pissedmyself:earl: reading this fred.

fact.

[Proper Bo]

Here's the truth NikkiD.

I thought Bo had ripped the pish out of me and that I had fallen for it.

When the phone was answered here's 3 things it DIDN'T sound.

1. Welsh

2. Male

3. Twenties.

In short (and sorry if this is overly harsh). I thought Bo had given me the number of a teenage English lass he knew and perhaps hadn't let her in on the joke. Imagine how that would have looked for a middle aged married man with hundreds of weans. Small wonder I proclaimed that we would never speak again and hung up the phone, pronto style.

I was rly tempted to do that:smilie4:

[Mr JP Fugley]

Here's the truth NikkiD.

I thought Bo had ripped the pish out of me and that I had fallen for it.

When the phone was answered here's 3 things it DIDN'T sound.

1. Welsh

2. Male

3. Twenties.

In short (and sorry if this is overly harsh). I thought Bo had given me the number of a teenage English lass he knew and perhaps hadn't let her in on the joke. Imagine how that would have looked for a middle aged married man with hundreds of weans. Small wonder I proclaimed that we would never speak again and hung up the phone, pronto style.

I was rly tempted to do that:smilie4:
You're a bit of a lad aren't you. :lol:

Unfortunately I now know his real name, mobile telephone number, business name, business address and business telephone number. If I want to know anything else it will take 1 five minute telephone call. That will include exchanging "how goes it mate".

Thanks for that.

If you want to provide any further details please do not hesitate to PM me.

[manker]

Reading that, it's all a bit worrying :unsure:



Btw, JP, thanks for offering to send the capped footie. I would have said thanks in the text containing my address - but I'd already gone up to the limit of characters and to have said 'thanks' would have cost me an extra 10p.

I'm sure you understand.

[Mr JP Fugley]

I'm sure you understand.
Sorry, no. I'm a simple kind of man. I don't really do oblique.

[Barbarossa]

Btw, that aids test result thing wouldn't really have worked with JP only knowing my screen name.

you know, he never even asked for your real name:lol:

I thought everyone's real name was Dave. :blink:

That's why we invent all these interweb names, so it's less confusing :ermm:

[Chip Monk]

Dave = Rod