Nyarrghhhh, Greek Hips.

[CrabGirl]

Ok so the best friend chose a bridesmaids dress for me for her wedding. i go and try it on in the shop and it looks lovely apart from the fact that the zip won't go over my hips, even though its a size bigger than I normally take. Looks like I'll be living on carrots for the next three months and be a narky bollox otherwise the best friend will slaughter me.

Fucking Nazi formal dressmakers thinking that all women go straight up and down.

Fucking weddings

Fucking Greeks.


I apologise for perhaps the girliest post I've ever posted.

[Barbarossa]

I love your hips, and I've never even seen them. True story :hug:

[CrabGirl]

Well you can have the bloody things then because they are causing me no end of fecking trauma. Honestly, if I could have a hipectomy now, I would. :angry:

[Mr. Mulder]

hips are perhaps the sexiest part on a woman after bewbs.

[CrabGirl]

hips are perhaps the sexiest part on a woman after bewbs.

Try telling that to the evil hipp-ist bastard that made the fecking dress, and try telling that to the fraught best mate who has her heart set on this particular one. Feck Feck feck it to Feckery. :angry:

[Mr. Mulder]

hips are perhaps the sexiest part on a woman after bewbs.

Try telling that to the evil hipp-ist bastard that made the fecking dress, and try telling that to the fraught best mate who has her heart set on this particular one. Feck Feck feck it to Feckery. :angry:
is this the green pea dress? :no:

[CrabGirl]

Yes its the green pea dress. And in order to get these fecking hips into it I'll be starving myself right the way up to the wedding. The rest of it fits fine, its just these stupid greek hippy hips. Heredity sucks bawls.

I don't even wear fecking dresses at the best of times. I am now in a foul mood, therefore I'm going to do an anti-hips work out dvd then go to bed and sulk. As I will be doing until sept-fucking-ember.

[Something Else]

It's clearly the dresses fault and not yours CG. Tell it to fix up or GTFO.

[Barbarossa]

Can't you cut little hip-shaped chevrons out of each side :blink:

I reckon that'd be awesome :johnpaulgaultier:

[Mr. Mulder]

do you have an exercise ball? cos hip extensions >*

[CrabGirl]

It's clearly the dresses fault and not yours CG. Tell it to fix up or GTFO.

If the bride didnt have her heart set on that one I'd have kicked the living shit out of it in the changing room. As it is she's my best friend and has been for 15 years so whatever she wants, she'll get. She's lucky I love her just a teeny bit more than I hate the fecking dress.

[Something Else]

Fair enough.

I still think the dress should be the one that has to go through pain, not you. If that's what it takes to make the relationship work.

[CrabGirl]

do you have an exercise ball? cos hip extensions >*


No I don't. May consider investing. Also will have to resume Yoga as is awesome for toning. Spose is an excuse to stop being so fecking lazy. :reluctantly admits she's done very little exercise recently:

[Mr. Mulder]

do you have an exercise ball? cos hip extensions >*


No I don't. May consider investing. Also will have to resume Yoga as is awesome for toning. Spose is an excuse to stop being so fecking lazy. :reluctantly admits she's done very little exercise recently:
get a reebok 65cm one, the cheaper ones come with rubish pumps and aren't as good :no:

[Mr.sharer]

Sara Goldfarb :glag:

[Hairbautt]

hips are perhaps the sexiest part on a woman after bewbs.
You can say that again.

[CrabGirl]

Sara Goldfarb :glag:

Feck off. Firstly I don't need to loose 50 pounds, and secondly I suppose you are perfect are you? No little nagging things about your body you are unhappy with? No? Then yahoo for you. You must be really fucking happy about that. :angry:

[JPaul]

Sorry if this is a bit blokeish but can't you have the dress altered.

[CrabGirl]

Sorry if this is a bit blokeish but can't you have the dress altered.

That may have to happen as a last resort yes.

Spoke to bride earlier and shes got a miracle worker seamstress. Don't get me wrong I'm not some bulbous couch sized lady, I've got a fairly normal sized waist but stupidly proportioned hips and tits and dresses just don't fit. I think the poor seamstress will have her work cut out.

:sick::sick::sick::sick::sick::sick: its pretty much that colour.

[JPaul]

Stay just the way you are and get it fucking altered.

[brotherdoobie]

Stay just the way you are and get it fucking altered.


:sage:


-bd

[CrabGirl]

Stay just the way you are and get it fucking altered.

Have I ever told you how much I love you??

Although when her aged relations keel over and die at the sight of my boobs walking up the aisle ten feet before me I'm sending you the funeral bill. :pinch:

[JPaul]

Stay just the way you are and get it fucking altered.

Have I ever told you how much I love you??

Although when her aged relations keel over and die at the sight of my boobs walking up the aisle ten feet before me I'm sending you the funeral bill. :pinch:

So long as you post pics I'll happily pay it.

Of you like, not the dead relatives. That would just be sick.

[chalice]

Pics of dead relatives, please.

I'll get it started, like.

Here's one of JP's...

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/5/55/Charles_Stewart_Parnell_-_Brady-Handy.jpg/462px-Charles_Stewart_Parnell_-_Brady-Handy.jpg

Well, not his relative, but one of his anti-descendants was closely associated, like.

[Something Else]

One from the barbs family archive.
http://img148.imageshack.us/img148/7669/lw128se7.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

[Skweeky]

I agree with JP, get the dress altered unless you feel you really need to lose some weight... In that case you may as well use it as some sort of motivation.

[JPaul]

My Granny worked on Parnell's estate when she was a wee lassie.

[chalice]

I know. That's why I posted it, like.

[JPaul]

I knew you knew, we have discussed on one occasions.

[chalice]

I knew you knew I knew.

Still, it impressed me so I wanted everybody else to know too.

[frottage]

thank u, i is well impressed.

now i know that you knew that he knew that you knew that his gran worked on parnell's estate.

fuck me i can barely compose english sentences anymore. i need a drink.

[JPaul]

Granny, I said Granny.

[frottage]

:lol:

[Skweeky]

Who is Parnell?
And where is his estate?
And what did your granny do there?

[JPaul]

Famous Irish lad who fought for home rule. He was from a wealth family who owned a lot of land.
Wicklow I believe
She was in service, she was only a wee lassie at the time. That was back in the day when weans worked really early.

[Squeamous]

There's not a lot you can do about your shape is there Crabby? I mean careful because if you diet it might just come off your tits and leave your hips as they are :pinch:

[CrabGirl]

And that would just look weird. Very weird. I think I have managed to convince her that we need to go for a different dress from a shop which does adjustments. This one in fact. Which also sorts out the hip issue.

http://s7d4.scene7.com/ir/render/AlfredAngeloRender/6556-600?wid=340&obj=main&sharpen=1

[Squeamous]

/want

[Skweeky]

That poor girl looks painfully thin...

[CrabGirl]

Yes. Thankfully I wont.

[Squeamous]

Aw! I think she looks lovely....little waist, bigger boobies and hips. If her waist was 2 inches fatter you'd think she looked fine.

[Barbarossa]

The irony is that those 2 inches has probably been photoshopped off her waist anyway :whistling

[Squeamous]

Cynic!

[Something Else]

Cynic!

http://youtube.com/watch?v=SjxY9rZwNGU :no:

[chalice]

Women, know your limits. Be plain in thought and let your natural sweetness shine through.

This has been a public service announcement brought to you courtesy of Benchez.

Not me. :fear:

[Squeamous]

Or you can pretend to have a natural sweetness and think what you like :unsure:.

[CrabGirl]

Or dont give a crap about being sweet and let people take you for what you are.

[Something Else]

Well I think you are both just lovely. :smilie4:

[CrabGirl]

Errrrm.... You've met me. How did you jump to that conclusion?

You're not so bad yourself!

[Something Else]

Fanks. :happy:

I've gone downhill since then. :emo:

[Squeamous]

Or dont give a crap about being sweet and let people take you for what you are.

Haaa! Hahahaha!

[CrabGirl]

:lol:

You knows it.

[CrabGirl]

Green Dress Update..

Bride came down for day of shopping for bridesmaids stuff and to assess the dress situation.

Hahahah. I have defeated the evil hips and it now fits, looks great if a bit booby, and I now have shoes, bag, and shawl to match.

Quite looking forwards to the wedding now.

[Agrajag]

The irony is that a booby is like a gannet and you have been eating less.

And also it's a burd as well.

Genious

[CrabGirl]

Oh dear.

[Agrajag]

Yes flower.

My :earl: chum calls lassies flower all the time and none ever complain. True Story.

[CrabGirl]

I'd never complain at being called Flower. Its nice.

Do it again.

[Agrajag]

Any time, flower.

[CrabGirl]

:thrives at the attention:

[Agrajag]

Doesn't one thrive on attention.

[CrabGirl]

Yes. One does. It's like sudden rain making the deserts bloom.

[Agrajag]

Good answer.

[Agrajag]

You're just fan-tastic.

[CrabGirl]

Thank you. So are you. One of my favorite people in the whole world, without so much as meeting you or knowing what you look like.

Its a meeting of minds, the internet.