REAL football

[The Flying Cow]

I find it preposterous that Yankees should feel their "creations" are in any way worthy of branding what were already perfectly reasonable sports.

Let's start with what they humorously call "football".

Where in this ghastly and incomprehensible sport is a ball ever kicked? If it is, once a year or once in a series of matches, why should the name of the game be football and not "strange-metal-fence-protections-in-your-face-type-helmets-with-wrestling-and-jumping-around-in-moshpits"?

Football - let's break down the word.

Foot = that part of the human leg below the ankle joint.

Ball = a round object.

If we join these two together, I would think the result would be Foot + Ball = a union of both of these. Which would mean feet contacting with balls, thus a game of kicking a ball around.

Thus, football = what it is, aka football. And the yankee sport is some odd attempt at rugby, just less gracious.

Did I mention baseball is simply a clone of rounders and softball/cricket?

At least there is an American sport that makes sense. And that is basketball. Basket + Ball = Ball being thrown into a basket.

Am I alone here? Please tell me you don't agree that football should be called "soccer" or some such gibberish.

What is this:
http://i301.photobucket.com/albums/nn52/TorrentialOutpour/800px-Football_cross.jpg

Football? I don't think so. That ball can't be kicked around and controlled, seeing as it's not even round.


-Sherman

[Bionic]

American Soccer... Rugby.

[Guillaume]

I thought it had been re-named american armoured wankball ages ago.

[IdolEyes787]

Basketball was invented by a Canadian- James Naismith.

He also invented the helmet for American football.

American's invented cheerleading so it's all good.

[Bionic]

American's invented cheerleading so it's all good.

The Hottest thing. :lol:

[clocker]

I find it preposterous that Yankees should feel their "creations" are in any way worthy of branding what were already perfectly reasonable sports.

Let's start with what they humorously call "football".


The "humorous" part- and by the way, shouldn't that have been "humourous"?- is that you still get your panties all in a twist about this.
We just laugh and laugh.

[Something Else]

Is this thread about puntsphere. :unsure:

[IdolEyes787]

Greatest sports
1.Cycling
2.Hockey
8. Footsball/soccer
32.Basketball
106. American Football(Was 105 until I remembered dog racing)

*Baseball no rating .Could be great for all I know but never been able to sit through a whole game without falling asleep.
*Cricket not technically a sport

[Sextent]

Is this thread about puntsphere. :unsure:

Indeed, in the best traditions of the bored.

[The Flying Cow]

The "humorous" part- and by the way, shouldn't that have been "humourous"?- is that you still get your panties all in a twist about this.
We just laugh and laugh.

I like panties, in a twist too I s'pose. It doesn't bother me, I was just pointing out how ridiculous it is. Football is not soccer, it's football. That other sport is something else altogether.

BTW hate to be nit-picky, but it's humourous, and humorously. Check the dictionary, lad.

-Sherman

[IdolEyes787]

Depends which cuntry(spelled that right I'm pretty sure) you in.
Ou in Angland and colonies I think.

[clocker]

Let's start with what they humorously call "football".




BTW hate to be nit-picky, but it's humourous, and humorously. Check the dictionary, lad.


Got me there, pops.

[BawA]

finally some body making sense...
acctually American fusball is combination of WWE, Rugby and some other bullshit which doesn't make sense at all.

[Barbarossa]

finally some body making sense...
acctually American fusball is combination of WWE, Rugby and some other bullshit which doesn't make sense at all.

:lol: bawa ftw :01:

[Acid_death69]

finally some body making sense...
acctually American fusball is combination of WWE, Rugby and some other bullshit which doesn't make sense at all.
lmao your not wrong there :P
I to get a bit nit picky about it, i dont understand why sometimes americans take something that was made in britian and try to put there spin on it. Then brand it with a name that doesnt have anything to do with it (in a sense).
They did it with a film that i liked aswell, we have 'Mean Machine' and then they made there own spin off of it 'The Longest Yard'.

[IdolEyes787]

Come on people if it's not great why is the championship called the Super Bowl?

Next thing you'll be telling me the World Series doesn't involve the whole world.

[BawA]

http://filesharingtalk.com/vb3/images/smilies/laugh.gif

[Proper Bo]

They did it with a film that i liked aswell, we have 'Mean Machine' and then they made there own spin off of it 'The Longest Yard'.

Mean Machine was a remake of The Longest Yard (1974). Fact.

edit: The original was known as Mean Machine over here tho'.

[brotherdoobie]

Piss off. American football is a brutal ballet of perfection. However inaptly named it may be.

I've bitten, lad. Is that all?


-bd :snooty:

[The Flying Cow]

They also re-made "The Office" TV series, originally with Ricky Gervais, into an Americanized version, which TBH is now the funniest show on modern-day television. It has overtaken the UK version by a mile. But that I presume is due to Ricky being part of the script writers/directors team on this new take.

But yeah, the US is always re-making UK shtuff. I guess the old colony likes to boast of it's independence from the Commonwealth.

-Sherman

[Something Else]

Oh come on. No need to be a dick.

[The Flying Cow]

Just stating historical facts benjamin. No pun or insult intended, lyke.

-Sherman

[IdolEyes787]

Original was "The Longest Yard" US 1974
Mean Machine was 2001.

[Something Else]

Just stating historical facts benjamin. No pun or insult intended, lyke.

-Sherman

Wanker. Fact.

[The Flying Cow]

Elliephant-tranquilizer-ingesting-annoying-coont. Fact.

-Sherman

[Something Else]

The tiny amount of respect I had for Village Idiot has been replaced with disdain.

[Acid_death69]

Original was "The Longest Yard" US 1974
Mean Machine was 2001.
i apologise then:(

[j2k4]

I see no point in any of this.

Most of you non-Yanks who covetously argue the propriety of American "football" against that which is played everywhere else would never attempt the same sort of debate over use of the term "marriage", which was originated by heterosexuals to describe a purportedly eternal and officially sanctioned relationship involving a man and a woman.

Or maybe Eve had a dick after all? :frusty:

[clocker]

Jeebus Kev, that's a leap in assumption not seen since the last Olympics...

[Sanka113]

Basically american football is a direct product of the game of soccer. I guess maybe way back when, the sports seemed similiar enough to just call the american sport football too. It's not that big of a deal really we can call it whatever we want even if the world says otherwise.Just like how we don't use the metric system.

[Something Else]

Or maybe Eve had a dick after all? :frusty:

I heard that (st)eve did have a cawk. What of it. :unsure:

[j2k4]

Jeebus Kev, that's a leap in assumption not seen since the last Olympics...

Sorry, I was in a mood.

How's about we take merely take credit for inventing the inflatable ovate spheroid used to play "the illegitimate game whose name cannot be uttered without bruising delicate European sensibilities".

I really need a break, too, dealing with this Favre situation...:frusty:

[clocker]

I really need a break, too, dealing with this Favre situation...:frusty:
Yeah, what's up with that?
Does he just miss hanging out in lockerrooms?

[j2k4]

I really need a break, too, dealing with this Favre situation...:frusty:
Yeah, what's up with that?
Does he just miss hanging out in lockerrooms?

Dunno.

If he's thinking of playing for the Vikings, though, you may be on to something.

This is the first time ever that I think I understand the motivations of all the parties involved; makes me wonder why they can't figure it out.

They need to be "fair" to Aaron Rodgers?

They've "gone in a different direction"?

Puh-leeze.

Make Favre guarantee them at least two more years, work on Brian Brohm, and send poor Aaron packing.

Problem solved.

[Fromagepas]

Basically american football is a direct product of the game of soccer. I guess maybe way back when, the sports seemed similiar enough to just call the american sport football too.

Pish and I'm not even going to begin to explain why. There are just too many reasons.

[j2k4]

Basically american football is a direct product of the game of soccer. I guess maybe way back when, the sports seemed similiar enough to just call the american sport football too.

Pish and I'm not even going to begin to explain why. There are just too many reasons.

Well, as handball has also been used, and it seems any subsequent appellation is subject to yurpeen approval, perhaps you could offer up some suggestions.

We are so thoroughly chastised as to also forego our use of the word "America" (and it's variants and derivatives) to refer to ourselves; please provide some alternatives for future use.

[chalice]

Pish and I'm not even going to begin to explain why. There are just too many reasons.

Well, as handball has also been used, and it seems any subsequent appellation is subject to yurpeen approval, perhaps you could offer up some suggestions.

We are so thoroughly chastised as to also forego our use of the word "America" (and it's variants and derivatives) to refer to ourselves; please provide some alternatives for future use.

American Rugby would be closer to the mark, I reckons.

[devilsadvocate]

Calling it football originated in the game's infancy when official rules had yet to be employed. It rose from a favored method of bringing members of the opposite team down by kicking certain sensitive parts of the body. The same tackling method led to the invention of the armored athletic cup.

It's true I tell you.

[Acid_death69]

Well, as handball has also been used, and it seems any subsequent appellation is subject to yurpeen approval, perhaps you could offer up some suggestions.

We are so thoroughly chastised as to also forego our use of the word "America" (and it's variants and derivatives) to refer to ourselves; please provide some alternatives for future use.

American Rugby would be closer to the mark, I reckons.
agreed

[j2k4]

Well, as handball has also been used, and it seems any subsequent appellation is subject to yurpeen approval, perhaps you could offer up some suggestions.

We are so thoroughly chastised as to also forego our use of the word "America" (and it's variants and derivatives) to refer to ourselves; please provide some alternatives for future use.

American Rugby would be closer to the mark, I reckons.

Nope.

'American' is disallowed, 'rugby' is in use; besides which, the ball is more pumpkin-ish.

As an aside, I've always heard rugby players are envious of the comparitively svelte ball we use to play...um, our game.


Calling it football originated in the game's infancy when official rules had yet to be employed. It rose from a favored method of bringing members of the opposite team down by kicking certain sensitive parts of the body. The same tackling method led to the invention of the armored athletic cup.

It's true I tell you.

I novel solution; I like it.

Kind of like pricking your finger while another might be fingering his prick.

As it were. :huh:

[chalice]

American Rugby would be closer to the mark, I reckons.

Nope.

'American' is disallowed, 'rugby' is in use; besides which, the ball is more pumpkin-ish.

As an aside, I've always heard rugby players are envious of the comparitively svelte ball we use to play...um, our game.


Calling it football originated in the game's infancy when official rules had yet to be employed. It rose from a favored method of bringing members of the opposite team down by kicking certain sensitive parts of the body. The same tackling method led to the invention of the armored athletic cup.

It's true I tell you.

I novel solution; I like it.

Kind of like pricking your finger while another might be fingering his prick.

As it were. :huh:

How's about fagball then?

[chalice]

Failing American Rugby, the only apposite nomenclature would surely be Fagball.


Takes yer pick, Kev. You can't have both.

[chalice]

Or neither, for that matter.

[devilsadvocate]

Failing American Rugby, the only apposite nomenclature would surely be Fagball.

I've heard that rugby players have a penchant for sticking their fingers in the anus of other players during the scrums, so the fag title is surely taken and if used by the US would just start this thread over anew.

[Fromagepas]

Failing American Rugby, the only apposite nomenclature would surely be Fagball.

I've heard that rugby players have a penchant for sticking their fingers in the anus of other players during the scrums, so the fag title is surely taken and if used by the US would just start this thread over anew.

Well they must be doing it to their own team and why the fuck would they do that.

[chalice]

I've heard that rugby players have a penchant for sticking their fingers in the anus of other players during the scrums, so the fag title is surely taken and if used by the US would just start this thread over anew.

Well they must be doing it to their own team and why the fuck would they do that.

Public School education, like.

[devilsadvocate]

I've heard that rugby players have a penchant for sticking their fingers in the anus of other players during the scrums, so the fag title is surely taken and if used by the US would just start this thread over anew.

Well they must be doing it to their own team and why the fuck would they do that.

Perhaps the other members of their team are French and they wish them to know they still have their longbow pulling/firing fingers :idunno:

[Fromagepas]

Well they must be doing it to their own team and why the fuck would they do that.

Public School education, like.

Indeed, I never thought that through.

[brotherdoobie]

Well they must be doing it to their own team and why the fuck would they do that.

Public School education, like.


:glag:


-bd

[The Flying Cow]

fingering his prick.

Would you please en(un)lighten me as to the mechanics/dynamics of how that works?

:blink:

Or is this a biblical reference - (st)Eve's 'cawk', lyke?

-Sherman

[j2k4]

fingering his prick.

Would you please en(un)lighten me as to the mechanics/dynamics of how that works?

:blink:

Or is this a biblical reference - (st)Eve's 'cawk', lyke?

-Sherman

I take it you've never pricked your finger.

[The Flying Cow]

You've lost me.

-Sherman

[j2k4]

You've lost me.

-Sherman

I have, haven't I. :whistling

[IdolEyes787]

You've lost me.

-Sherman

I have, haven't I. :whistling

Yes but you pricked his interest.

[j2k4]

I have, haven't I. :whistling

Yes but you pricked his interest.

Time will tell. :whistling

[brotherdoobie]

Kevin, are you grooming Sherman?


-bd

[Sextent]

Yeah, bd saw him first.

[j2k4]

Kevin, are you grooming Sherman?


-bd

I hadn't thought of him that way.

You think he's a candidate?


Yeah, bd saw him first.

Bd-

Please advise. :whistling

[The Flying Cow]

Just to clarify, I don't hold grudges against stupid sport invention and blatant name usurpation, so long as it doesn't spread across the globe.

What 'pricks' me, as some of you would put it, is that the real game of football should be blasphemed - namewise - into something it is not - "socca".

-Sherman

[brotherdoobie]

Yeah, bd saw him first.

It's only fair.


-bd

[j2k4]

Just to clarify, I don't hold grudges against stupid sport invention and blatant name usurpation, so long as it doesn't spread across the globe.

What 'pricks' me, as some of you would put it, is that the real game of football should be blasphemed - namewise - into something it is not - "socca".

-Sherman

Quite right.

Real soccer is only played in Brazil, I think. :dabs:



Yeah, bd saw him first.

It's only fair.


-bd

'Kay. ;)

[The Flying Cow]

Real soccer is only played in Brazil, I think. :dabs:

I wouldn't know.

-Sherman

[j2k4]

Real soccer is only played in Brazil, I think. :dabs:

I wouldn't know.

-Sherman

It's second-hand info, you see. :whistling

[Something Else]

Americans seem very lacking in the field of self-aimed racism. :dabs:

[j2k4]

Americans seem very lacking in the field of self-aimed racism. :dabs:

Yeah, you guys are much better at it than we are.

What is it, anyway. :whistling

[The Flying Cow]

Thought this was fitting, like:

http://filesharingtalk.com/vb3/f-lounge-10/t-american-football-losers-15580


-Sherman :whistling

[Something Else]

Americans seem very lacking in the field of self-aimed racism. :dabs:

Yeah, you guys are much better at it than we are.

What is it, anyway. :whistling

It's when I burn an England flag and pish in the Queen's ear.

[j2k4]

Yeah, you guys are much better at it than we are.

What is it, anyway. :whistling

It's when I burn an England flag and pish in the Queen's ear.

That's "self-aimed racism"?

Hoooookaaay...

[Something Else]

It could be if I was English.

[Something Else]

Saying 'Those English are all cunts' would probably be more racist to be fair. The queen thing could just be personal.

[j2k4]

Ah - gotcha. :huh:

[brotherdoobie]

He's right, Kevin. The British do suck.


-bd

[j2k4]

He's right, Kevin. The British do suck.


-bd

Yes, and we can be sure they are setting a standard in doing so; after all, they're, um...British. :whistling

[Something Else]

Yes. You prove my point so wonderfully. :smilie4:

[brotherdoobie]

Yes. You prove my point so wonderfully. :smilie4:


In all fairness he's just agreeing with your previous statement, Ben.


-bd

[Something Else]

Exactly.

[j2k4]

Exactly.

Exactly.

[Something Else]

Yes. The British are cunts. I think we've all agreed on that.

[j2k4]

Yes. The British are cunts. I think we've all agreed on that.

Not exactly. :whistling

[Something Else]

Feel free to elaborate Mr.Whistle.

[j2k4]

Feel free to elaborate Mr.Whistle.

Well, I certainly don't believe all Brits to be cunts, but while I am certain some Brits think all Americans are, I am likewise sure the American who would throw that blanket over the Brits is a rare bird, indeed.

I would say concurrently that the Brits who are American-hating cunts are (no doubt} convinced they do so with a completeness and competence non-Brits cannot begin to approach.

How's that? :whistling

[Something Else]

I think you managed to use a lot of words to say absolutely fuck all. As usual. :whistling

[clocker]

I think you managed to use a lot of words to say absolutely fuck all. As usual. :whistling
It was necessary to set up the ironic mixture of parentheses and braces...which you missed.
Score one for Kev.

[chalice]

Self-appointed referees ftw.

[j2k4]

I think you managed to use a lot of words to say absolutely fuck all. As usual. :whistling
It was necessary to set up the ironic mixture of parentheses and braces...which you missed.
Score one for Kev.

Oh, certainly more than that.

Five, perhaps.

Even more, if someone will vouch that I've irritated you...Ben, I mean.


Self-appointed referees ftw.

We'd rather you volunteered, truth.

I'd trust ya, ya Limey bar-steward. :whistling

[buggyfresh]

NFL should be called "Men running in fluffy tight suits with big pads having 4 periods a game several times a month (ouch)" :P

Football is just football (burn the word "soccer").

[j2k4]

Close enough.

Seems we Americans can adjourn the argument, as the elephant treats the gnat. :whistling

[Something Else]

You don't irritate me to be honest mate. You bore me.
I just don't find you to be an interesting character I suppose.

[clocker]

NFL should be called "Men running in fluffy tight suits with big pads having 4 periods a game several times a month (ouch)" :P


Not quite as catchy as "football".
Presumably you don't work in the advertising field.

You've already foisted off your aging "star" (along with his attenuated wife/thing) on a gullible American public, can't you just be happy with that?

[j2k4]

You don't irritate me to be honest mate. You bore me.
I just don't find you to be an interesting character I suppose.

That's fine.

My expectations for you were not high at all (at all).

[Something Else]

Maybe if I read the posts in the Drawing Room i'd see your interesting side. :01:

[Barbarossa]

It didn't work for me :no2:

[j2k4]

Maybe if I read the posts in the Drawing Room i'd see your interesting side. :01:

Please, let's not ruin a good thing.


It didn't work for me :no2:

See?

Check our join-dates; Barbie has despised me for perhaps longer than any other member.

I thank God every day for his self-discipline in not venting continuously, and marvel at the time he saves by resisting the on-going urge to lash out at me.

He is a rock. :yup: