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View Full Version : No food, no money.



Something Else
07-25-2008, 06:23 PM
What to do. :unsure:

Something Else
07-25-2008, 06:25 PM
I saw my mate consume 40% of the Tesco bakery section in one visit.
Impressive as it was, I don't know if I have the necessary cheek to pull it off.

Barbarossa
07-25-2008, 06:40 PM
£1.35 for a loaf of bread this evening. This world is getting a bit fucked up

Mr. Mulder
07-25-2008, 07:12 PM
steal some food so you can sell it for money.

Mr. Mulder
07-25-2008, 07:12 PM
steal some food so you can sell it for money.

Mr. Mulder
07-25-2008, 07:13 PM
x2

enoughfakefiles
07-25-2008, 07:18 PM
Just eat the from the cheap shelf :smilie4:

I tried to double post and it didn't wurk

Barbarossa
07-25-2008, 07:21 PM
If you don't comment on the double posts I can remove them and no-one knows any better. :dabs:

if you do comment on them I can't, and it makes you look like a div, and it also makes tesco cry because he thinks the board is broked again...

EDIT: nice edit, effy :smilie4:

The Flying Cow
07-25-2008, 07:28 PM
Do something else (post explanation):

Use credit to buy yourself some food.

Then cook it.

Eat it.

Now either sell yourself to make it back, or sell some drugz.

-Sherman

tralalala
07-25-2008, 07:36 PM
STFU Manker, or go into prostitution...

Something Else
07-25-2008, 07:36 PM
Credit. :blink:

The shops around here won't tick me stuff. :no:

tralalala
07-25-2008, 07:39 PM
o hai mister "i am too nifty for having a credit card, bank account or bus pass" :mellow:

Something Else
07-25-2008, 08:08 PM
If poor as fuck is nifty, then yes I am nifty. :smilie4:

Something Else
07-25-2008, 08:28 PM
I scraped together some 5p's from the penny jar.

/off down the chippy. :happy:

enoughfakefiles
07-25-2008, 08:31 PM
I scraped together some 5p's from the penny jar.

/off down the chippy. :happy:

We do live if you can get something for 5p down the chippy :unsure:

tralalala
07-25-2008, 08:31 PM
Moran, I thought the only reason for making and maintaining a BT trackery thingybob is to make teh moneyz... :emo:

tralalala
07-25-2008, 08:32 PM
oh, and enoughfakefiles is on teh drugz. true story.

The Flying Cow
07-25-2008, 08:33 PM
You can get a course of edible fish-n-chips for 5p?

:blink:

-Sherman

tralalala
07-25-2008, 08:33 PM
Me thinks all he can get for 5p at the chippy is 2 chips and half a crumb of schnitzel-type coating from the fish.

chalice
07-25-2008, 08:34 PM
Hows the fuck are you skint anyways, Benjamin?

You're like a wopped out. tree-hugging Bill Gates minus the twatitude kinda cunt.

N'est pas?

222MHz
07-25-2008, 08:34 PM
Go to Costco and have as many samples as you can before they ask you to leave or buy something.. Then go to Sam's Club and do the same. Then you can try Publix, Winn-Dixi, Albertsons or whatever chain stores are near you.

The Flying Cow
07-25-2008, 08:36 PM
Moran, I thought the only reason for making and maintaining a BT trackery thingybob is to make teh moneyz... :emo:

Not the only reason..

In case you hadn't observed, his place isn't exactly a money-making manufactory.

True story? :O

-Sherman

tralalala
07-25-2008, 08:37 PM
Yes it is. He is teh pimz of the online prostitution industry.


@222terahertz - He lives in the UK.. They don't get shitty places like Costco there <_<

chalice
07-25-2008, 08:40 PM
A social experiment once tired in Ireland could be the answers to your undernourished prayers, Benjamin.

Eat and drink only at wakes and funerals. Peruse the daily paper and mark which funeral you wish to attend. Amble along to said burial and flicker in the background availing of free pints and sundry death-snacks.

Win.

Something Else
07-25-2008, 08:42 PM
Hows the fuck are you skint anyways, Benjamin?

You're like a wopped out. tree-hugging Bill Gates minus the twatitude kinda cunt.

N'est pas?


Thanks. I think. :unsure:

My 'homeless' mate has been kipping in my living room for a couple of weeks as my missus was away. Not only did the cunt eat all my food, but I came in today and he was checking his shares on the stockmarket with my internets. :O
He was also writing shemales to his tennant in his flat in Germany. :fist:

KeyLogger FTW. :shifty:

Something Else
07-25-2008, 08:44 PM
A social experiment once tired in Ireland could be the answers to your undernourished prayers, Benjamin.

Eat and drink only at wakes and funerals. Peruse the daily paper and mark which funeral you wish to attend. Amble along to said burial and flicker in the background availing of free pints and sundry death-snacks.

Win.

Do I get to chat-up the widowers too. :w00t:

Something Else
07-25-2008, 08:46 PM
I scraped together some 5p's from the penny jar.

/off down the chippy. :happy:

We do live if you can get something for 5p down the chippy :unsure:

I've been, returned, eaten the small portion of chips. £1.30. :ermm: Now i'm even hungrier. :pinch:

222MHz
07-25-2008, 08:46 PM
You could go fishing.. You are on an island right?

tralalala
07-25-2008, 08:48 PM
1 pound thirty? I'd buy a whole loaf of bread with that instead.

The Flying Cow
07-25-2008, 08:48 PM
Do I get to chat-up the widowers too. :w00t:

You mean funeral crashing.

:rod:

-Sherman

Something Else
07-25-2008, 08:49 PM
1 pound thirty? I'd buy a whole loaf of bread with that instead.

You can't buy decent bread around here at 10 in the evening, otherwise I would have.

Something Else
07-25-2008, 08:50 PM
Do I get to chat-up the widowers too. :w00t:

You mean funeral crashing.

:rod:

-Sherman

Nope. I meant:


Do I get to chat-up the widowers too. :w00t:

tralalala
07-25-2008, 08:52 PM
:ermm: Then for that moneyz, you should have bought.. ermm.. Is that worth 5 minutes with a prostitute? :huh:

The Flying Cow
07-25-2008, 08:56 PM
Bench is committed.

I believe.

And for 5p the woman would have to be very desperate for junk.

-Sherman

Mr JP Fugley
07-25-2008, 09:02 PM
I can cheer you up.

I calculated my new pay after a recent promotion. I miscalculated (I always err on the side of caution) and was actually due more than I thought. Plus they had mucked up something else so I got about £370 more than I had thought.

Today I took a mate for lunch and a pint, as he was going on holiday and I fancied a wee chat about stuff before he went. I do that earl but not with some dude I met on an internets forum, that's just creepy.

Then when I txtd Mrs JP to say I was on my way home, as is my wont, She replied "Pick me up a bottle of Glayva on the way home, I'll take you out for dinner. My treat".

True Story

There you feel better already, n'est ce pas.

Something Else
07-25-2008, 09:05 PM
Surprisingly enough, JP's story did cheer me up. :happy:

Biggles
07-25-2008, 09:05 PM
I can cheer you up.

I calculated my new pay after a recent promotion. I miscalculated (I always err on the side of caution) and was actually due more than I thought. Plus they had mucked up something else so I got about £370 more than I had thought.

Today I took a mate for lunch and a pint, as he was going on holiday and I fancied a wee chat about stuff before he went. I do that earl but not with some dude I met on an internets forum, that's just creepy.

Then when I txtd Mrs JP to say I was on my way home, as is my wont, She replied "Pick me up a bottle of Glayva on the way home, I'll take you out for dinner. My treat".

True Story

There you feel better already, n'est ce pas.

I not entirely convinced you struck exactly the right balance there. Prolly close enough though.

Mr JP Fugley
07-25-2008, 09:07 PM
Surprisingly enough, JP's story did cheer me up. :happy:

See.

In your face Big so called Les.

Barbarossa
07-25-2008, 10:28 PM
Do I get to chat-up the widowers too. :w00t:

Unless there's something you really wanted to get off your chest there, I think you mean widows :dabs:

Something Else
07-25-2008, 10:30 PM
:pinch:

Biggles
07-25-2008, 10:31 PM
Surprisingly enough, JP's story did cheer me up. :happy:

See.

In your face Big so called Les.

Fair point - I failed to take into account the Benchez factor...

my bad (whatever that means)

Something Else
07-25-2008, 10:36 PM
The factor of taking pleasure at someone else's glee. :unsure:

tesco
07-25-2008, 10:38 PM
eat my bakery section? :cry:

Barbarossa
07-25-2008, 10:41 PM
That's right, bread-boy

Mr JP Fugley
07-25-2008, 10:47 PM
Do I get to chat-up the widowers too. :w00t:

Unless there's something you really wanted to get off your chest there, I think you mean widows :dabs:

:lol: :earl:

Mr JP Fugley
07-25-2008, 10:48 PM
The factor of taking pleasure at someone else's glee. :unsure:

Antischadenfreude ftw.

Biggles
07-25-2008, 10:53 PM
The factor of taking pleasure at someone else's glee. :unsure:

Antischadenfreude ftw.

Now if Hitler had thought of that just think of all the trouble we could have been spared.

Mr JP Fugley
07-25-2008, 11:10 PM
Antischadenfreude ftw.

Now if Hitler had thought of that just think of all the trouble we could have been spared.

Do you really think that WWII was hitler's version of schadenfreude.

In other news Skizo would have posted:

Do you really think that WWII was Adolf's version of schadenfreude.

He's got form for it.

Skweeky
07-26-2008, 08:41 AM
So you always text Mrs JP when you are on the way home eh?

Hmmmm... is this a prerequisite for you being allowed to come into the house? :lol:

Barbarossa
07-26-2008, 09:12 AM
It's so she can instruct the butler and the rest of the domestic staff that their master's arrival is imminent :mellow:

tralalala
07-26-2008, 09:13 AM
So, Frenchez, how are you going to battle out the need for moneyz and food tonight then? :smilie4:

Skweeky
07-26-2008, 01:17 PM
Have you considered phoning your missus and asking for some money?

Mr JP Fugley
07-26-2008, 01:40 PM
It's so she can instruct the butler and the rest of the domestic staff that their master's arrival is imminent :mellow:

Exactly.

I think it's over the top but it makes their day. You should see their wee faces light up.

Particularly when I surprise them and come up the back passage.

The Flying Cow
07-26-2008, 02:36 PM
Particularly when I surprise them and come up the back passage.

Is it me or is there a double entendre somewhere in there?

:lol:

-Sherman

Skweeky
07-26-2008, 03:09 PM
Their wee faces? Do you only employ dwarves?

Mr JP Fugley
07-26-2008, 03:44 PM
Dawarfs, the word is dawarfs.

Something Else
07-26-2008, 05:27 PM
So, Frenchez, how are you going to battle out the need for moneyz and food tonight then? :smilie4:

It's now tomorrow and i've been paid. Thanks.


Have you considered phoning your missus and asking for some money?


No. We don't have the necessary passenger pigeon for transporting the cash. :cry:

Skweeky
07-27-2008, 08:12 AM
She can't transfer money into your bank account? Or use a moneygram?

Something Else
07-27-2008, 09:06 AM
I have no experience of either of those.
Is the second one a naked lady with money attached her nipples. :unsure:

Skweeky
07-27-2008, 12:55 PM
How did you make it to 28 without transfering money into a bank account? :mellow:

Something Else
07-27-2008, 01:20 PM
:fuknose:

Mr JP Fugley
07-27-2008, 01:21 PM
He has a selective memory.

Detale
07-27-2008, 02:04 PM
Dude!! Send me some info and I'll wire you money for food or I could donate to ITS if thats easier, I cant have my favorite fuckface going hungry

Something Else
07-27-2008, 02:21 PM
I'd prefer to die. True story.

Something Else
07-27-2008, 02:21 PM
Doppelgänger :eyebrows:

Something Else
07-27-2008, 02:24 PM
Three points.

1.I'd prefer to die. True story.

2.The donations are for the site cawk. I'd never touch those.

3.I have no idea about this wire money. I thought i'd explained that.

Something Else
07-27-2008, 02:24 PM
Doppelgänger :eyebrows:

tesco
07-27-2008, 02:50 PM
benchsex would prefer to die.
That much is certain.

Mr JP Fugley
07-27-2008, 03:56 PM
Tie die I'll be bound

Something Else
07-27-2008, 04:24 PM
http://media.urbandictionary.com/image/large/hippie-48540.jpg

The missus will be home soon. :happy:

Mr JP Fugley
07-27-2008, 04:33 PM
Then you'll be able to eat.

Skweeky
07-27-2008, 04:33 PM
That's a wicked dress! I want one of those!

Something Else
07-27-2008, 05:35 PM
The last post in this thread was made by skweeky but I can't see it. :blink:

Skweeky
07-27-2008, 05:36 PM
Can't believe you put me on ignore. Cunt :snooty:

Something Else
07-27-2008, 05:40 PM
:cry: I never. I can see it now. The whole page was unclickable for a while. :01:

Besides you had me on ignore for posting about spiders once. Fact. :snooty:

Skweeky
07-27-2008, 06:42 PM
That's a valid reason. I only said I like the dress :snooty:

Something Else
07-27-2008, 06:50 PM
:cry::cry::cry::cry:

:emo: Sorry. :emo:

Skweeky
07-27-2008, 07:06 PM
Why does it say 'Scottie' in your avatar?

Something Else
07-27-2008, 08:00 PM
It's an old Jungle tune I like and my name.

Mr JP Fugley
07-27-2008, 08:01 PM
:cry: I never. I can see it now. The whole page was unclickable for a while. :01:

Besides you had me on ignore for posting about spiders once. Fact. :snooty:

I've still got you on ignore

Something Else
07-27-2008, 08:09 PM
Can somebody quote him please. I can't see what he's saying as he's on my ignore list.

chalice
07-27-2008, 08:11 PM
What would happen if everybody just ignored everybody?

Real life, that's what.

Youse cunts.

Mr JP Fugley
07-27-2008, 10:12 PM
What would happen if everybody just ignored everybody?

Real life, that's what.

Youse cunts.

:lol::earl:

Mr JP Fugley
07-27-2008, 10:13 PM
Can somebody quote him please. I can't see what he's saying as he's on my ignore list.

You're the rubbish ben with bad patter. Is good ben off tonight.

Old Geezer
07-27-2008, 10:52 PM
£1.35 for a loaf of bread this evening. This world is getting a bit fucked up

That's cheap. $5.00 for a loaf in N.Y.

Something Else
07-27-2008, 11:32 PM
Can somebody quote him please. I can't see what he's saying as he's on my ignore list.

You're the rubbish ben with bad patter. Is good ben off tonight.

My missus is home. Fuck youse all.

Mr JP Fugley
07-27-2008, 11:46 PM
You're the rubbish ben with bad patter. Is good ben off tonight.

My missus is home. Fuck youse all.

Ben = Chavis.

Cunt, I never worked that one out.

FatBob
07-28-2008, 07:15 AM
hey bench have you tried dumpster diving :unsure:

FatBob
07-28-2008, 07:18 AM
http://www.cartoonstock.com/lowres/mba0863l.jpg

Barbarossa
07-28-2008, 09:29 AM
£1.35 for a loaf of bread this evening. This world is getting a bit fucked up

That's cheap. $5.00 for a loaf in N.Y.

That must include shipping costs :mellow:

The Flying Cow
07-28-2008, 09:48 AM
Loaves are cheaper here, but I have a feeling weed isn't.

-Sherman :mellow:

Squeamous
07-28-2008, 10:47 AM
What to do. :unsure:

Am I too late to suggest eating your children?

Mmmm, baby barbecue :drool:

The Flying Cow
07-28-2008, 11:01 AM
Cannibal.

:fear:


-Sherman

Something Else
07-28-2008, 11:38 PM
It's ok, the kids are imaginary. :dry:

mickalpet1
07-29-2008, 01:10 AM
Possibly I will ask my frined for dinner and ask he/she pay the bill. I will pay the next time.

Squeamous
07-29-2008, 11:07 AM
That's good advice Ben.

At least, it's the best you're going to get :ermm:

brotherdoobie
07-29-2008, 11:25 AM
What to do. :unsure:

Am I too late to suggest eating your children?

Mmmm, baby barbecue :drool:

I enjoy Greek food. Roasted kid, ftw!


-bd

Squeamous
07-29-2008, 11:30 AM
Greeks eat their children? :O

brotherdoobie
07-29-2008, 11:32 AM
Yes, and their goats.


-bd

Squeamous
07-29-2008, 11:40 AM
They eat goats? :O

That's just sick :snooty:

brotherdoobie
07-29-2008, 11:44 AM
It's prolly better than McDonalds, however.


-bd :idunno:

The Flying Cow
07-29-2008, 12:50 PM
Cockroaches are better than CrapDonald's. Not that I've tried the former.


-Sherman :fear:

brotherdoobie
07-29-2008, 12:57 PM
Cockroaches are better than CrapDonald's. Not that I've tried the former.


-Sherman :fear:

I've tried smoked roach. True story.


-bd

The Flying Cow
07-29-2008, 01:14 PM
Smoked cockroach?

*escapes the scene with incredible rapidity


-Sherman

brotherdoobie
07-29-2008, 06:37 PM
Smoked cockroach?

*escapes the scene with incredible rapidity


-Sherman


:rod:


-bd

Squeamous
07-30-2008, 07:07 AM
What about BK? I'm not ashamed to admit I like their veggie burgers :yup:.

The Flying Cow
07-30-2008, 10:15 AM
Burger King to rule them all.

I think Frodo said that.


-Sherman :happy:

Squeamous
07-30-2008, 10:59 AM
Although they're in my bad books at the moment. Under the 'fish and vegetarian' menu they have fish burger, veggie burger, and chilli bean burger. Turns out the chilli bean burger isn't veggie because it has fish oil in it :rolleyes:. I ate about half a dozen before I realised :angry:.

Skweeky
07-30-2008, 12:03 PM
Mmmm, I love fish. Fish fish fish fish. I could live on fish.

Proper Bo
07-30-2008, 12:49 PM
Turns out the chilli bean burger isn't veggie because it has fish oil in it :rolleyes:. I ate about half a dozen before I realised :angry:.

it was under the 'fish and vegetarian' menu tho'.:blink:

Mr JP Fugley
07-30-2008, 07:10 PM
The lads got a point. A damn good point.

enoughfakefiles
07-30-2008, 07:29 PM
Vegetables squeal when picked :unsure:

Mr JP Fugley
07-30-2008, 07:43 PM
What for like football, do they get really excited.

Squeamous
07-30-2008, 09:12 PM
Turns out the chilli bean burger isn't veggie because it has fish oil in it :rolleyes:. I ate about half a dozen before I realised :angry:.

it was under the 'fish and vegetarian' menu tho'.:blink:

Yeah, but if you were asked to class a bean burger as either fish or vegetarian, which would you naturally gravitate to?

Mr JP Fugley
07-30-2008, 09:22 PM
Fish

Mr JP Fugley
07-30-2008, 09:22 PM
Fish

Something Else
07-30-2008, 09:25 PM
Camden. :unsure:

Something Else
07-30-2008, 09:25 PM
Indeed. :eyebrows:

Squeamous
07-30-2008, 09:34 PM
Fish

I heard you the first time, grandad.

The Flying Cow
07-30-2008, 10:20 PM
I fink it was a double post, like.


-Sherman

Squeamous
07-30-2008, 10:25 PM
I know!

Mr JP Fugley
07-30-2008, 10:51 PM
You reckon, Sherlock.

Mr JP Fugley
07-30-2008, 10:51 PM
Actually I was corroborating my evidence, it's a legal requirement in Scotland.

The Flying Cow
07-30-2008, 10:54 PM
Yes, I do reckon Watson.

Is your hypothesis any different?


-Sherman

Squeamous
07-30-2008, 11:07 PM
He's still a knob, but he's sure of it now :happy:

Mr JP Fugley
07-30-2008, 11:09 PM
He's still a knob, but he's sure of it now :happy:

Away and lie in your own pish.

Squeamous
07-31-2008, 10:45 AM
:happy: