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Mr. Mulder
03-17-2009, 07:38 AM
there's this girl at work rite, we'll call her Tits McGee. She's not great looking or anything and even has a boyfriend but she keeps feeling me up and stuff at work! everytime she walks past she'll grab me or slide her hand across my waist and if she needs to talk to me about something work related she'll lyke stand up real close to me and push her chest out and stuff and yesterday she actually grabbed my junk!1 :o i was all lyke GTFO bitch im doing data recovery!!!! :o

i have never touched her once! but she keeps doing all this shit to me, she's 19 and her boyfriends 36 and has tattoos on his head and looks like he eats broken glass for a laugh, he doesn't seem to be in good shape or anything, just fucking mental... :ermm:

if this keeps up im tempted to poke her pooper but at the same time i cannot afford to get fired for something stoopid :ermm:


i just know she's gonna do more stuff today :no:

Mathea
03-17-2009, 07:49 AM
I vote you have sex with her on your desk.

Squeamous
03-17-2009, 07:58 AM
I'm pretty sure she hasn't cleared this with me, Crabby or Skweeks :angry:. Does she know it's 50p a go?

hoodeh
03-17-2009, 08:12 AM
i vote you have sex with her on your desk.

+1

Skweeky
03-17-2009, 11:46 AM
I'm pretty sure she hasn't cleared this with me, Crabby or Skweeks :angry:. Does she know it's 50p a go?

Squeams, you're closest to him, go and sort it out and make it clear mouldy has 3 pimps for a very good reason.

Something Else
03-17-2009, 11:50 AM
Report her for sexual her ass mint.

Skweeky
03-17-2009, 11:52 AM
Or, give her your paypal details and advise her you will deliver the goods as soon as payment has been received.

Skweeky
03-17-2009, 11:53 AM
To be honest, I'd be feeling him up as well if I worked at the same place.

Skweeky
03-17-2009, 11:53 AM
But then, I'm allowed to.

Something Else
03-17-2009, 01:51 PM
To be honest, I'd be feeling him up as well if I worked at the same place.

I think we'd all have to check to see if the legends held true.

Hairbautt
03-17-2009, 03:00 PM
Report her for sexual her ass mint.
That's obvious.

pentomato
03-17-2009, 04:56 PM
She is going to get you in trouble, report the sexual harrasment or she will report you, if you refuse to do anything with her, that kind of behaviour is not ok towards anyone.

Squeamous
03-17-2009, 06:40 PM
I'm pretty sure she hasn't cleared this with me, Crabby or Skweeks :angry:. Does she know it's 50p a go?

Squeams, you're closest to him, go and sort it out and make it clear mouldy has 3 pimps for a very good reason.

I'm going to slap her bitch ass down to Chinatown :happy:

Skweeky
03-17-2009, 07:20 PM
Don't let mulder see it; it'll only arouse him.

Snee
03-17-2009, 07:47 PM
This was exactly like a neotheone-thread.

Except that...

a) She doesn't sound like a mentalist
b) You don't have an epic 'tashe
c) There's the slight possibility of secks in the end
d) It didn't make me think of murder
e) Thus far there's only the one complete moron posting really bad advice

Rat Faced
03-17-2009, 08:54 PM
OO, can I be the 2nd?

Snee
03-17-2009, 08:58 PM
You'd have to bash your head in with a hammer to match the other one, though.

Are you prepared to make that sacrifice?

Rat Faced
03-17-2009, 09:00 PM
Depends what head your refering too :unsure:

Snee
03-17-2009, 09:11 PM
:blink:

tesco
03-17-2009, 10:31 PM
:blink:
My thoughts exactly.:blink:

Squeamous
03-18-2009, 11:52 AM
Don't let mulder see it; it'll only arouse him.

It's ok, I've got some safety specs :unsure:

Squeamous
03-18-2009, 11:56 AM
It's quite unfair isn't it? If a man did that to me, I'd grab his balls and twist, or yank his pants down in the canteen and point and laugh. If a man did that to a woman though he'd be arrested.
You could go for the suave option Mouldy, and sort of slide up to her with one raised eyebrow and say 'I think someone wants to be analised :naughty:'. That always works :smilie4:.

Mr. Mulder
03-18-2009, 06:06 PM
+1

she broke up with her boyfriend yesterday rite, comes into work telling everyone about it. comes up to me saying she "really needs to get laid" i made up my mind not to hit it as losing this job would be epically bad and she's not that hawt so i just ignore her more or less all day and don't play along with anything sexual she says and then today she got back together with her boyfriend and comes into work telling everyone about it.

clarsey girl, a real winrar. :eyebrows:

(im all for female on male secksual harassment as long as they're hawt or at the very least, semi hawt :eyebrows: )

Mr. Mulder
03-18-2009, 06:08 PM
I'm pretty sure she hasn't cleared this with me, Crabby or Skweeks :angry:. Does she know it's 50p a go?

Squeams, you're closest to him, go and sort it out and make it clear mouldy has 3 pimps for a very good reason.
i was gonna give ewe guise your cut up front i swear11!1 :fear:

Skweeky
03-18-2009, 07:27 PM
It just won't do.

We'll require another penis pic, mkay, thanks.

NotLettingItGo
03-18-2009, 08:05 PM
Be careful he doesn't just recycle the old one on you Skweeky... get him to write someone elses name on it this time so you know it's a new photie ;)

Skweeky
03-18-2009, 08:10 PM
Ooooh yes, good point! Right, this time we would like you to write 'Strawberry 18/3/09' on it. Mkay, thanks.

NotLettingItGo
03-18-2009, 09:58 PM
Are you sure that's long enough to reach the end, from what I hear you'll need a much longer word than that... How about supercalifragalisticexpialidociuos... and on the plus side it's got connotations of Julie Andrews associated with it to keep him happy as well :P

Skweeky
03-18-2009, 10:00 PM
Ohthe strawberry suggestion is in it's flacid state. Once erect it's got the whole lyric of 'Strawberry Fields' on it.

Rat Faced
03-18-2009, 10:01 PM
Are you sure that's long enough to reach the end, from what I hear you'll need a much longer word than that... How about supercalifragalisticexpialidociuos... and on the plus side it's got connotations of Julie Andrews associated with it to keep him happy as well

That spells sus when flacid then?

NotLettingItGo
03-18-2009, 11:07 PM
Ohthe strawberry suggestion is in it's flacid state. Once erect it's got the whole lyric of 'Strawberry Fields' on it.
Are you sure... the whole lyrics... I should get a photie of it in that state then if I were you, just so you check it's a complete copy of the lyrics like ;)

Mr. Mulder
03-19-2009, 07:34 AM
there's not much to write on when flacid, im a grower not a shower :emo:

Proper Bo
03-20-2009, 02:18 AM
ffs, you could at least include a link or something in the spam

edit: found one, i retract the above.

Squeamous
03-20-2009, 08:24 AM
there's not much to write on when flacid, im a grower not a shower :emo:

Is it one of those little ones that bounce about under your trousers when you don't wear pants?

Anyway, I'm glad bitchface is off the scene. Obviously she received the nail bomb I sent to her house :happy:.

Skweeky
03-20-2009, 10:12 AM
Well done Squeams. We can't have girls just expecting free sex with mouldy.

Squeamous
03-20-2009, 11:45 AM
What a liberty! They can have whatever's left after we've done.

NotLettingItGo
03-20-2009, 12:30 PM
I'm reading this as jealousy from Skweeky and Squeams, it must be because of the actual feel 'bitchface' has had... Crabbird has been keeping quiet though... maybe she's lost interest in you Mulder.

Skweeky
03-20-2009, 03:04 PM
Jealousy? We're ok with it as long as we get our cut.

Rat Faced
03-20-2009, 03:09 PM
http://www.phisick.com/images/surg/circumcision-knife-g-101.jpg

NotLettingItGo
03-20-2009, 04:58 PM
Hide Mulder... hide quickly, they're coming for you... well more 'it' than you.

Squeamous
03-23-2009, 06:48 AM
I'm reading this as jealousy from Skweeky and Squeams, it must be because of the actual feel 'bitchface' has had... Crabbird has been keeping quiet though... maybe she's lost interest in you Mulder.

He has a point Skweeks. You don't think she's been sampling the merchandise behind our backs do you? :O

Skweeky
03-23-2009, 08:55 AM
:O

Hmmm, it IS very suspicious they both claimed to move to different sides of the country around the same time.

Squeamous
03-23-2009, 11:35 AM
Can you imagine the carnage? :O

Skweeky
03-23-2009, 11:48 AM
:fear:

Alien5
03-23-2009, 06:07 PM
Nah it wouldn't be right. :no:

Rat Faced
03-23-2009, 10:34 PM
Just ask Crabby if her Mam visited her recently?

Squeamous
03-24-2009, 07:36 AM
I think we'd all know if Crabby and Mouldy had been getting up to shenanigans, because she would be pregnant and she wouldn't be ar.......

:O

Mr. Mulder
03-24-2009, 06:05 PM
:sneaky:

Skweeky
03-24-2009, 06:17 PM
I seem to remember some hot chatting going on there a while ago as well :O

Squeamous
03-25-2009, 11:43 AM
I read that as 'hot chaffing' :smilie4:

Albo Da Kid
03-25-2009, 01:08 PM
sqweeky,squeamous what would your husbands say if they found out you were fantasizing about deepthroating an agent Mulder character impressionist, on the internet..im just curious

Squeamous
03-25-2009, 03:09 PM
Oh, you should have seen the way mine carried on when he found out I'd seen Mouldy's cock. It was reminiscent of the time I put one of his Megadrive games back in the wrong place on the shelf :fear:.

Albo Da Kid
03-25-2009, 06:55 PM
They should do a tv series or at least a documentary based on desperate internet housewives.
That ought to show a few married guys how their wife will end up if they're going to spend most of their time playing games and eating chips

Mr. Mulder
03-25-2009, 07:05 PM
fantasizing about deepthroating an agent Mulder character impressionist

:no:

Skweeky
03-25-2009, 09:30 PM
They should do a tv series or at least a documentary based on desperate internet housewives.
That ought to show a few married guys how their wife will end up if they're going to spend most of their time playing games and eating chips


Not half as interesting as the one about the closet subs who spend their time on chatforums trying to get off on other people calling them cawksuckers.

Don't forget to wipe your screen.

Albo Da Kid
03-25-2009, 09:53 PM
I'd put my money on the desperate housewives. Watching somebody criticize inadequate behavior is boring nowadays...Now to see middle aged women act like naughty schoolgirls behind the web is definitely something worth watching.
Even little girls out there can learn a thing or two... "When you grow up and your life gets boring..Don't worry girls. You can always resort to the slick internet schoolgirl tactics to give your life somekind of meaning."

callum
03-25-2009, 10:04 PM
Now to see middle aged women act like naughty schoolgirls behind the web is definitely something worth watching.

That sounds boring as fuck to be honest, what would be interesting about watching middle aged women posting on an internet forum?
If you don't believe me, watch your mum next time she's on the internet looking for a father for you.

Skweeky
03-25-2009, 10:08 PM
:lol: :earl:

Don't overexcite him.

Albo Da Kid
03-25-2009, 10:11 PM
what would be interesting about watching middle aged women posting on an internet forum?Seeing them struggle to come of as flashy and cute is one for example. Pathetic but entertaining

Albo Da Kid
03-25-2009, 10:15 PM
..
Just as long as you don't start getting off with the bloke during the threesome and let the burd cater to herself.

That once happened to me. :no:.

Skweeky
03-25-2009, 10:16 PM
Jealousy doesn't become you my sweet.

Albo Da Kid
03-25-2009, 10:21 PM
where'd you steal that line from?? im sure it was from somekind of self imrpoving e-book "How to improve yourself and come off as a confident fox...meowww"

Skweeky
03-25-2009, 10:27 PM
Some of us just have a way with words.

[Kev] :whistling [Kev]

Albo Da Kid
03-25-2009, 10:38 PM
ofcourse.. you know what. you seem like the real deal. To think of it that's exactly the type of girl that i would wanna marry someday. Someone with a sense of humor and plenty of flirting skills..

Just to make sure though, and now I'm being serious. Would your type, meaning the playful/sexy/funny type of female, cheat on you easily or is it just an act? I mean there's plenty of woman out there who like to play around but they're harmless when it comes to being faithful.

Rat Faced
03-25-2009, 10:40 PM
I mean there's plenty of woman out there who like to play around but they're harmless when it comes to being faithful.

:huh:

Skweeky
03-25-2009, 10:43 PM
Well erm... to be honest I cheated on all my partners before I met my husband. But I have never cheated on my husband. I suppose you'd have to keep them interested.

Albo Da Kid
03-25-2009, 10:44 PM
@Rat Faced.. chickenheads is what they're called. They act as if they could snap at any minute and do do the unimaginable but they're pretty much bluffing

Skweeky, now that's what i wanna hear. i was fuking around when i asked you be4 but im glad to know you're one the faithful types..off the internets at least. that's a big plus

Rat Faced
03-25-2009, 10:45 PM
If Skweeky says she'll do something (other than normal flirtin' that is), don't bet against it.

Sonja: You can't cheat on the types of relationships you were in.

Squeamous
03-26-2009, 10:22 AM
Excuse me, but we seem to be getting off the subject of Mouldy's cock and uses thereof :mellow:

Skweeky
03-26-2009, 01:19 PM
Have you received any monies for it yet?

Squeamous
03-26-2009, 01:30 PM
Well the Queen's been in touch...she needs a new flagpole. But apart from that, mostly men :unsure:. I think we should lower the price in these tough economic times, or perhaps diversify. What do you think?

Zaak
03-26-2009, 02:21 PM
Resistance is futile!!! Act now Mr. Mulder or suffer for your actions...

Skweeky
03-26-2009, 02:56 PM
Well the Queen's been in touch...she needs a new flagpole. But apart from that, mostly men :unsure:. I think we should lower the price in these tough economic times, or perhaps diversify. What do you think?

Maybe we should advertise as 'giving and taking' in light of recent circumstances.

Squeamous
03-26-2009, 06:04 PM
Well the Queen's been in touch...she needs a new flagpole. But apart from that, mostly men :unsure:. I think we should lower the price in these tough economic times, or perhaps diversify. What do you think?

Maybe we should advertise as 'giving and taking' in light of recent circumstances.

:happy:

NotLettingItGo
03-26-2009, 08:08 PM
You could make it into a tourist attraction, set yourselves up a stall in Eastbourne Market, you'll have them queuing around the block to pay up... shirley... oh and in the evenings, when it's flacid you could make it into a carnival game on the peer, give the local girls the task of seeing it, and pay out to them that can.

Skiz
11-22-2010, 03:07 AM
bump

NeoTheOne
11-22-2010, 04:13 AM
Do i put tags too? LOL