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QPD
02-13-2010, 06:12 PM
Why Daddy Didn’t Come To Work…

The boss wondered why one of his most valued employees had not phoned in sick one day. Having an urgent problem with one of the main computers, he dialed the employee’s home phone # and was greeted with a child’s whisper

“Hello”

Is your daddy home? he asked.

“Yes.” whispered the small voice.

May I talk with him?

The child whispered, “no.”

Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, “Is your mommy there?”
“Yes.”

May I talk with her?

Again the small voice whispered, “No.”

Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the asked, “Is anybody else there?”

“Yes” whispered the child, “A policeman !!”

Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee’s home, the boss asked, “May I speak with the policeman?”

“No, he’s busy.” whispered the child.

“Busy doing what?”

“Talking to daddy and mommy and the fireman,” came the whispered answer.

Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise in the background through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, “What is that noise?”

“A helicopter.” answered the whispering voice.

“What is going on there?” demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.

Again, whispering, the child answered, “The search team just landed.”

Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked, “What are they searching for?”

Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle……..

“ME !”
:lol:

Two Women Meet In Heaven…

1st woman: Hi! My name is Sandra.
2nd woman: Hi! I’m Sylvia. How’d you die?

1st woman: I froze to death.
2nd woman: How horrible!

1st woman: It wasn’t so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you?

2nd woman: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV.

1st woman: So, what happened?

2nd woman: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking.

I ran up into the attic and searched,and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds… I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died.

1st woman: Too bad you didn’t look in the freezer—we’d both still be alive.

Skiz
02-13-2010, 06:35 PM
:lol: @ the second one.

senegal
02-23-2010, 05:11 PM
Uninteresting subject!

QPD
02-23-2010, 05:53 PM
Who cares 'bout your opinion?
:ermm:

senegal
02-23-2010, 06:18 PM
I do.

WakeMeUp
03-02-2010, 07:09 PM
Lol @ the #2 :lol:

dagg3r
03-02-2010, 11:30 PM
@#2, :>
gr1 dude, keep them comingg !!

QPD
03-14-2010, 11:15 AM
Here you have my favorite goal...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-10EN5WS6VA

jmayer
03-15-2010, 12:53 AM
I lolled at the two jokes. :lol:

filstop
04-04-2010, 10:12 PM
:lol: :lol:

theone1
04-09-2010, 08:05 AM
:lol: :lol: funny

:lol: :lol:

redwine
07-07-2010, 07:27 AM
keep them coming..

actimoltive
07-27-2010, 03:51 AM
great joke, thank you.

rohnsmith
07-30-2010, 09:46 AM
:D:D
Nice one
Keep Sharing

ohshayke
07-30-2010, 10:04 AM
hehe :)

Nissouri
07-30-2010, 10:09 AM
The second joke totally broke me up, shattering the relative peace of the office on a Friday afternoon...

senegal
08-01-2010, 10:59 PM
it's obsolete.

KFWQ
08-08-2010, 05:24 AM
haha nice.

QPD
08-08-2010, 08:55 AM
Blonde paint job
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.

"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."









Impossible to Please
A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women Only." Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in.

The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. "We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It's easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what's inside."

So they start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: "All the men on this floor are short and plain." The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor.

The sign on the second floor reads: "All the men here are short and handsome." Still, this isn't good enough, so the friends continue on up.

They reach the third floor and the sign reads: "All the men here are tall and plain."

They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors left, they continued on up.

On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect: "All the men here are tall and handsome." The women get all excited and are going in when they realize that there is still one floor left. Wondering what they are missing, they head on up to the fifth floor.

There they find a sign that reads: "There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman."

ip_ipl_bit
08-28-2010, 08:34 AM
:naughty::naughty::naughty::naughty: