imnotanaddict
11-13-2003, 06:58 AM
little boy and the cop:
A cop was on his horse waiting to cross the street
> when a little boy on his shiny, new bike stopped
> beside him. "Nice bike," the cop said. "Did
> Santa bring it to you?" "Yep," the little boy said,
> "he sure did!" The cop looked the bike over and handed
> the boy a $20 ticket for a safety
> violation. The cop said, "Next year tell Santa to put
> a reflector light on the back of it." The young boy
> looked up at the cop and said, "Nice horse you got
> there sir, did Santa bring it to you?" "Yes, he sure
> did," chuckled the cop. The little boy looked up at
> the cop and said, "Next
> year tell Santa the dick goes underneath the horse not
> on top."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Grab My Breasts!
A woman went into a department store and told the clerk that she wanted to
return a toaster for refund because it didn't work. The clerk told her
that he couldn't give her a refund because she bought it on special.
All of a sudden the woman threw her arms up and yelled, "Grab my Breasts!
Grab my breasts!"
The clerk didn't know what to do, so he called the store manager who asked
her if he can help.
She explained that she wanted to return the non-working toaster for
refund, and he told her that he would not give her a refund because she
bought the toaster on special.
Once again she yelled, "Grab my breasts! Grab my breasts!"
The manager was taken aback and asked her why she was yelling that
particular phrase.
She replied, "Because I like my breasts grabbed when I'm getting screwed!"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Friends don't let friends
take home ugly men
Women's restroom
Starboard, Dewey Beach, DE
Beauty is only a light switch away.
Perkins Library, Duke University, Durham, NC
If life is a waste of time,
and time is a waste of life,
then let's all get wasted together
and have the time of our lives.
Armand's Pizza, Washington, DC
Remember, it's not,
"How high are you?"
it's
"Hi, how are you?"
Rest stop off Route 81, West Virginia
Fighting for peace is like
screwing for virginity.
The Bayou, Baton Rouge, LO
No matter how good she looks,
some other guy is sick and tired
of putting up with her shit.
Men's Room
Linda's Bar and Grill, Chapel Hill, NC
At the feast of ego
everyone leaves hungry.
Bentley's House of Coffee and Tea, Tucson, AZ
It's hard to make a comeback
when you haven't been anywhere.
Written in the dust
on the back of a bus,
Wickenburg, AZ
Make love, not war.
-Hell, do both
GET MARRIED!
Women's restroom
The Filling Station, Bozeman, MT
If voting could really change things,
it would be illegal.
Revolution Books
New York, New York.
If pro is opposite of con,
then what is the opposite of progress?
Congress!
Men's restroom
House of Representatives, Washington, DC
Express Lane:
Five beers or less
Sign over one of the urinals
Ed Debevic's, Phoenix, AZ
You're too good for him.
Sign over mirror in Women's restroom
Ed Debevic's, Beverly Hills,CA.
No wonder you always go home alone.
Sign over mirror in Men's restroom,
Ed Debevic's, Beverly Hills,CA
|---------------------------------------------------------------|
| |
| |
| A Woman's Rule of Thumb: |
| If it has tires or testicles, |
| you're going to have trouble with it. |
| Women's restroom |
| Dick's Last Resort, Dallas, TX |
| |
|---------------------------------------------------------------|
A cop was on his horse waiting to cross the street
> when a little boy on his shiny, new bike stopped
> beside him. "Nice bike," the cop said. "Did
> Santa bring it to you?" "Yep," the little boy said,
> "he sure did!" The cop looked the bike over and handed
> the boy a $20 ticket for a safety
> violation. The cop said, "Next year tell Santa to put
> a reflector light on the back of it." The young boy
> looked up at the cop and said, "Nice horse you got
> there sir, did Santa bring it to you?" "Yes, he sure
> did," chuckled the cop. The little boy looked up at
> the cop and said, "Next
> year tell Santa the dick goes underneath the horse not
> on top."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Grab My Breasts!
A woman went into a department store and told the clerk that she wanted to
return a toaster for refund because it didn't work. The clerk told her
that he couldn't give her a refund because she bought it on special.
All of a sudden the woman threw her arms up and yelled, "Grab my Breasts!
Grab my breasts!"
The clerk didn't know what to do, so he called the store manager who asked
her if he can help.
She explained that she wanted to return the non-working toaster for
refund, and he told her that he would not give her a refund because she
bought the toaster on special.
Once again she yelled, "Grab my breasts! Grab my breasts!"
The manager was taken aback and asked her why she was yelling that
particular phrase.
She replied, "Because I like my breasts grabbed when I'm getting screwed!"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Friends don't let friends
take home ugly men
Women's restroom
Starboard, Dewey Beach, DE
Beauty is only a light switch away.
Perkins Library, Duke University, Durham, NC
If life is a waste of time,
and time is a waste of life,
then let's all get wasted together
and have the time of our lives.
Armand's Pizza, Washington, DC
Remember, it's not,
"How high are you?"
it's
"Hi, how are you?"
Rest stop off Route 81, West Virginia
Fighting for peace is like
screwing for virginity.
The Bayou, Baton Rouge, LO
No matter how good she looks,
some other guy is sick and tired
of putting up with her shit.
Men's Room
Linda's Bar and Grill, Chapel Hill, NC
At the feast of ego
everyone leaves hungry.
Bentley's House of Coffee and Tea, Tucson, AZ
It's hard to make a comeback
when you haven't been anywhere.
Written in the dust
on the back of a bus,
Wickenburg, AZ
Make love, not war.
-Hell, do both
GET MARRIED!
Women's restroom
The Filling Station, Bozeman, MT
If voting could really change things,
it would be illegal.
Revolution Books
New York, New York.
If pro is opposite of con,
then what is the opposite of progress?
Congress!
Men's restroom
House of Representatives, Washington, DC
Express Lane:
Five beers or less
Sign over one of the urinals
Ed Debevic's, Phoenix, AZ
You're too good for him.
Sign over mirror in Women's restroom
Ed Debevic's, Beverly Hills,CA.
No wonder you always go home alone.
Sign over mirror in Men's restroom,
Ed Debevic's, Beverly Hills,CA
|---------------------------------------------------------------|
| |
| |
| A Woman's Rule of Thumb: |
| If it has tires or testicles, |
| you're going to have trouble with it. |
| Women's restroom |
| Dick's Last Resort, Dallas, TX |
| |
|---------------------------------------------------------------|