Alex H
12-03-2003, 04:16 AM
infamousalbo101 had some good questions and they deserve some decent advice, not just for him, but for all the young people who hang out on this board.
Here is the link to the original post (http://klboard.ath.cx/index.php?showtopic=85254), which basically got inundated with people being smartarses and crapping on.
And here is MY crapping on for young people who DO need advise.
Yes getting laid is cool.
(Getting nostalgic) I lost mine when I was 17. Went to a work party, met lots of cool people, spent a lot of time talking to a particular woman, etc. Then I got the question: "Do you want to come home with me?" And of course I had bought into the idea that I was the ONLY virgin in my group of friends, so I thought "SCORE!" The sex was great, but I woke up the next morning and realised where I was. After some chit-chat, I got around to asking "Um, I don't want to sound rude, but I don't really know you. Ah, how old are you?"
"30. How old are you?"
"17".
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHohmygodohmygod", etc, "I thought you were like 25!"
"I thought YOU were 25!"
And when I went back to my friends at school, glowing, and with the knowlege that I was now part of the club and told them, of the eight mates in our little group, there was ONE knowing grin and SEVEN embarresed smiles. I couldn't fucking believe it! the bastards had lied!
In retrospect, yes it was cool, but the situation really freaked out my partner and it probably would have been a good idea to just wait until a nice girl about my own age came along.
So, my advise to you teenagers (and I'm not that much older!) is just slow it down a bit. EVERYONE is (and was) EXTREMELY horny when they are that age. I know it can be hard to concentrate in school, but it will be a lot worse if you've bonked half the girls in your class and they are pissed off at you for sleeping around (and GIRLS DO TALK!)
So when you're horny:
*Download some porn.
* Don't get sucked into believing it's real! Real sex is not like porn! Most chicks will think anal sex is disgusting. Facial cumshots do not exsist. Deepthroat blowjobs require lots of practice so don't force her or she'll puke on your dick.
*Masturbate and learn about your body and how to make it work. If you think 10 minutes of sex is good, wait until you can fuck for an hour! She'll think you're the best thing on the face of the plannet.
* Make sure she has as good a time as you do, i.e. she gets to have an orgasm too. You'll know you're getting close when you can fuck all night and she is a quivering heap on the bed and has to take the next day off to recover. (But, ah, don't do this to often!)
* Use protection. Unless you fall in love, want to have babies and live happily ever after, use protection. Get some condoms and practice putting them on (get some different types, find out which ones fit the best and have a wank so you know how to take them off too) and remember it is ok to be embarresed when you're buying them - the person at the counter only took the job so they could get them after hours when nobody was looking. Everybody buys them, just like toothpaste and toilet paper.
* Search the internet and find out about STDs. One day you may get one, so you need to know what the symptoms are and what to do about it. If you don't, one day you'll get a funny itch, ignore it, and spend the next few months getting phone calls from angry partners telling you that you've infected them (and their subsequant partners). Its not worth the embarresment, so learn about the symptoms and how they are transmitted, and maybe ask a doctor. Just tell them, you're young, horny, and want to be responsible. They'll be glad you asked and tell you anything you want to know.
* Note about the last two points: If you think you're too smart to use protection, first go down to your local social security office and watch all the 16 year old mothers pushing strollers and prams. Then go to the hospice ward at your local hospital and hang out with the HIV/AIDS patients. They are a bundle of laughs, and will tell you all sorts of funny jokes about only having 60 days to live.
You should have a long and happy life ahead of you, so don't mess it up with one unprotected fuck.
* Another important note: One day you will meet a chick who dosn't want you to wear a condom. She'll say: "But I really love you", or "It feels beter without one!" DON'T GIVE IN. Tell her if she wants to have sex without a condom, then you'll both go to a doctor. She can get a prescription for the Pill, and you'll both get bloodtests and physical examinations to confirm that neither of you have any sexually transmitted dieseses. BUT YOU WON'T HAVE SEX WITHOUT ONE UNTIL THAT HAPPENS.
- She may walk away (plenty more fish in the sea),
- She may agree to the tests and prescriptions (this is the beginning of a long term relationship and you need to talk about it),
- She'll probably just let you wear the rubber.
Women can be just as irrisponsable as men!
And remember: Sex is probably the most intimate thing you can do with another person - this means you are thinking for two people, not just one!
Have fun :D
PS. I may be young but I've crammed a fucking lot into my time. I've had the embarresing situation of not having a condom on me when I met a really hot chick and running to the conveinence store at 1am, I've had my friends get pregnant while we were still at school, I've had some friends die of AIDS and visited them in hospital, I've had a psyco ex-girlfriend hoard the used condoms so she could secretly get pregnant, I've had the terror of a suspected STD only to be told it was jock rash, I've had my partner tell me I was shit in bed, I've had a friend ask me why his girlfriend won't take it up the arse like in the movies, I've had my best mate have a very public breakup at school with his bedfellow of 2 years, and I've had the raging hormones too! :D
Here is the link to the original post (http://klboard.ath.cx/index.php?showtopic=85254), which basically got inundated with people being smartarses and crapping on.
And here is MY crapping on for young people who DO need advise.
Yes getting laid is cool.
(Getting nostalgic) I lost mine when I was 17. Went to a work party, met lots of cool people, spent a lot of time talking to a particular woman, etc. Then I got the question: "Do you want to come home with me?" And of course I had bought into the idea that I was the ONLY virgin in my group of friends, so I thought "SCORE!" The sex was great, but I woke up the next morning and realised where I was. After some chit-chat, I got around to asking "Um, I don't want to sound rude, but I don't really know you. Ah, how old are you?"
"30. How old are you?"
"17".
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHohmygodohmygod", etc, "I thought you were like 25!"
"I thought YOU were 25!"
And when I went back to my friends at school, glowing, and with the knowlege that I was now part of the club and told them, of the eight mates in our little group, there was ONE knowing grin and SEVEN embarresed smiles. I couldn't fucking believe it! the bastards had lied!
In retrospect, yes it was cool, but the situation really freaked out my partner and it probably would have been a good idea to just wait until a nice girl about my own age came along.
So, my advise to you teenagers (and I'm not that much older!) is just slow it down a bit. EVERYONE is (and was) EXTREMELY horny when they are that age. I know it can be hard to concentrate in school, but it will be a lot worse if you've bonked half the girls in your class and they are pissed off at you for sleeping around (and GIRLS DO TALK!)
So when you're horny:
*Download some porn.
* Don't get sucked into believing it's real! Real sex is not like porn! Most chicks will think anal sex is disgusting. Facial cumshots do not exsist. Deepthroat blowjobs require lots of practice so don't force her or she'll puke on your dick.
*Masturbate and learn about your body and how to make it work. If you think 10 minutes of sex is good, wait until you can fuck for an hour! She'll think you're the best thing on the face of the plannet.
* Make sure she has as good a time as you do, i.e. she gets to have an orgasm too. You'll know you're getting close when you can fuck all night and she is a quivering heap on the bed and has to take the next day off to recover. (But, ah, don't do this to often!)
* Use protection. Unless you fall in love, want to have babies and live happily ever after, use protection. Get some condoms and practice putting them on (get some different types, find out which ones fit the best and have a wank so you know how to take them off too) and remember it is ok to be embarresed when you're buying them - the person at the counter only took the job so they could get them after hours when nobody was looking. Everybody buys them, just like toothpaste and toilet paper.
* Search the internet and find out about STDs. One day you may get one, so you need to know what the symptoms are and what to do about it. If you don't, one day you'll get a funny itch, ignore it, and spend the next few months getting phone calls from angry partners telling you that you've infected them (and their subsequant partners). Its not worth the embarresment, so learn about the symptoms and how they are transmitted, and maybe ask a doctor. Just tell them, you're young, horny, and want to be responsible. They'll be glad you asked and tell you anything you want to know.
* Note about the last two points: If you think you're too smart to use protection, first go down to your local social security office and watch all the 16 year old mothers pushing strollers and prams. Then go to the hospice ward at your local hospital and hang out with the HIV/AIDS patients. They are a bundle of laughs, and will tell you all sorts of funny jokes about only having 60 days to live.
You should have a long and happy life ahead of you, so don't mess it up with one unprotected fuck.
* Another important note: One day you will meet a chick who dosn't want you to wear a condom. She'll say: "But I really love you", or "It feels beter without one!" DON'T GIVE IN. Tell her if she wants to have sex without a condom, then you'll both go to a doctor. She can get a prescription for the Pill, and you'll both get bloodtests and physical examinations to confirm that neither of you have any sexually transmitted dieseses. BUT YOU WON'T HAVE SEX WITHOUT ONE UNTIL THAT HAPPENS.
- She may walk away (plenty more fish in the sea),
- She may agree to the tests and prescriptions (this is the beginning of a long term relationship and you need to talk about it),
- She'll probably just let you wear the rubber.
Women can be just as irrisponsable as men!
And remember: Sex is probably the most intimate thing you can do with another person - this means you are thinking for two people, not just one!
Have fun :D
PS. I may be young but I've crammed a fucking lot into my time. I've had the embarresing situation of not having a condom on me when I met a really hot chick and running to the conveinence store at 1am, I've had my friends get pregnant while we were still at school, I've had some friends die of AIDS and visited them in hospital, I've had a psyco ex-girlfriend hoard the used condoms so she could secretly get pregnant, I've had the terror of a suspected STD only to be told it was jock rash, I've had my partner tell me I was shit in bed, I've had a friend ask me why his girlfriend won't take it up the arse like in the movies, I've had my best mate have a very public breakup at school with his bedfellow of 2 years, and I've had the raging hormones too! :D