Christmas Jokes

[Sparkle1984]

What do you call someone who is afraid of Santa Claus?
Claustrophobic !!

Why is Santa like a busy gardener ?
Because all he does is hoe hoe hoe !!

What do monkeys sing at Christmas?
Jungle Bells !!

What did the big candle say to the little candle?
I'm going out tonight !!

:lol: :lol: :lol: oh dear !!! :wacko: :teehee:

[Thor Son of Thunder]

A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son said, "All you sons of bitches who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop and all you sons of bitches who are getting on, get your asses on the train, cause were going down the tracks!!"

The mother went nuts and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS!!! When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language.

Two hours later, the son comes out and resumes playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, "All passengers who are disembarking the train, please remember to take all of your belongings, we thank you for riding with us, and hope your trip was a pleasant one. She hears the boy continue, "for those of you just boarding, we ask you to store all of your hand luggage under your seat, remember, there is no smoking on the train, we hope you have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today."

As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the bitch in the kitchen."

[bujub22]

THOR :lol: :lol: omg that was a good 1

[Sparkle1984]

Originally posted by Thor Son of Thunder@16 December 2003 - 16:52
A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son said, "All you sons of bitches who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop and all you sons of bitches who are getting on, get your asses on the train, cause were going down the tracks!!"

The mother went nuts and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS!!! When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language.

Two hours later, the son comes out and resumes playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, "All passengers who are disembarking the train, please remember to take all of your belongings, we thank you for riding with us, and hope your trip was a pleasant one. She hears the boy continue, "for those of you just boarding, we ask you to store all of your hand luggage under your seat, remember, there is no smoking on the train, we hope you have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today."

As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the bitch in the kitchen."
:lol: I really like that joke!!!

[bujub22]

http://s3.invisionfree.com/Anything_Discus...dex.php?act=idx (http://s3.invisionfree.com/Anything_Discussion/index.php?act=idx)

[Autumn Fox]

Originally posted by Thor Son of Thunder@16 December 2003 - 18:52
(...)
As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the bitch in the kitchen."
:lol: :lol: :lol: Good one.

[Wolfmight]

Why does Santa say "Ho Ho Ho" soo much?
Dat's da call of tha secret drugz store. The cops allmost busted the foo couple years back.

otherwise it's also his slut call when mrs.clause is sick.

[vidcc]

why does santa have no children?

because he only comes once a year and then it's down the chimney


nigelhumour (http://www.nigelhumour.co.uk)

[vidcc]

did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshiper?

he sold his soul to santa

why is dyslexia so hard to spell ????