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Mad Cat
01-03-2004, 04:16 PM
Software VS Hardware

MICROSOFT SHOULD MAKE CARS, GM SHOULD MAKE SOFTWARE.
At a recent computer expo, Bill Gates reportedly compared
the computer industry with the auto industry and stated:

"If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry
has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got
1000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments/General Motors issued a press
release stating the following: "If GM had developed technology
like Microsoft, we would be driving cars with the following
characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a
day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you would
have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally, your car would die on the freeway for no
reason, and you would accept this, restart, and drive on.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn
would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart;
in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you
bought 'Car95' or 'CarNT.' Then you would have to buy
more seats.

6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun,
was more reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy
to drive, but would only run on five percent of the roads.

7. The oil, water, temperature and alternator warning lights
would be replaced by a single 'general car fault' warning
light.

8. New seats would force everyone to have the same butt
size.

9. The airbag system would say 'Are you sure?' before going
off.

10. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would
lock you out and refuse to let you in until you
simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and
grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a
deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary),
even though they neither need them nor want them. Attempting
to delete this option would immediately cause the car's
performance to diminish by 50 per cent or more.

12. Every time GM introduced a new model, car buyers would
have to learn how to drive all over again because none of
the controls would operate in the same manner as the old
car.

13. You'd press the 'Start' button to shut off the engine.



I just thought this was funny and I should share it. Its sort of hardware related and I don't think any of the people from other parts of the forum would appreciate it like you guys.

3rd gen noob
01-03-2004, 04:20 PM
:lol:

Mad Cat
01-03-2004, 04:33 PM
Wow, has this forum died or something?

Laugh people, laugh!!!

DWk
01-03-2004, 04:39 PM
lol..... is this true?

Mad Cat
01-03-2004, 04:40 PM
It looks like it is :P

You shoulda been at Comdex then you woulda known :P

Mad Cat
01-03-2004, 04:43 PM
This is fun too. Pretty old but.. if you were alive back then :P
If Operating Systems were airlines


IF OPERATING SYSTEMS RAN THE AIRLINES....

UNIX Airways

Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to the
airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece
by piece, arguing non-stop about what kind of plane they are supposed to
be building.

Air DOS

Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let
the plane coast until it hits the ground again. Then they push again, jump
on again, and so on ...

Mac Airlines

All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look and
act exactly the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are
gently but firmly told that you don't need to know, don't want to know,
and everything will be done for you without your ever having to know, so
just shut up.

Windows Air

The terminal is pretty and colorful, with friendly stewards, easy baggage
check and boarding, and a smooth take-off. After about 10 minutes in the
air, the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever.

Windows NT Air

Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes, and takes
out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes.

Linux Air

Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their
own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the runways
themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost of printing the
ticket, but you can also download and print the ticket yourself. When you
board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench and a copy of
the seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is very
comfortable, the plane leaves and arrives on time without a single problem,
the in-flight meal is wonderful. You try to tell customers of the other
airlines about the great trip, but all they can say is, "You had to do
what with the seat?"

Spicker
01-03-2004, 06:30 PM
this is soo old LOL

but still funny! :lol: :lol:

Autumn Fox
01-04-2004, 12:21 AM
Originally posted by Mad Cat@3 January 2004 - 16:16
(...)
13. You'd press the 'Start' button to shut off the engine.
(...)
:lol: :lol: :lol:

Robert00000
01-04-2004, 02:18 PM
:lol:

this stuff is good, i was in stitches

99shassan
01-04-2004, 03:08 PM
:lol: lol