Depression

[Rat Faced]

I thought long and hard before posting this here; however the board is its members and there is a member of this board in real need of help.

He's a very well respected member, that has severe phobias that prevent him from interacting properly IRL and that, of course makes things very difficult for him.

I will not mention his name, obviously, to protect his privacy....but just that info given will be enough to identify him to those of us that consider him a friend already; and i for one am proud to be able to call him that.


Of course, the problems he has would cause depression in any of us.. and i can respect how down he is.

I just want to say:

Dont do it mate, the world would be a sadder place without you for a lot of people, especially those of us that do care.


I encourage his friends, and they know who they are, to tell him how they feel.

I encourage the people who dont even know who im talking about, not to just spam the thread...but to express themselves positively. Many of you will know who im talking about, and not even realise it.

Goddess look after you mate. :(

[Skweeky]

Hun,

you are a wonderful person, I have told you that so many times but it's true. And even with all the troubles you had you were still there for me as much as you could when I was having a hard time.

I know you don't see it right now but life can be so beautiful, yes, for you too. You are so kind and smart and you have so much going for you if you want. But you have to take the first few steps all by yourself. You will always have people who are there for you and who are ready to listen to you.

I know we can't be there for you IRL, but it's something. You are not alone and we care a lot about you, more than you realise.

Paul is right, the people who know you would lose so much if you weren't around anymore.

:hug:

Please reconsider this, we don't want to lose you

[h1]

:( I don't know who it is, but I'm very sorry to hear it, RF.

Just remember: keep your head up. Suicide is not the answer and lots of people that love you will be hurt and miss you forever. Better days always come. :)

[Mathea]

He's right hun. There's so much you can do, and you are such a wonderful person. You have so much potential.... and you're an amazing friend. You know where Im going with this........please reconsider. You're too wonderful to go. Please think long and hard.... and yes, I know you have, but look deep inside yourself. Think about those hopes and dreams hun, and realize that with help you can achieve them. You know what Im talking about.

And while you may think that you are alone, you need to know that there's alot of people that care for you. True, we can't be there..... but just bc Im stuck over here doesnt mean I care any less. I have faith in you always, and I know all that is possible with you. Please please please, give yourself time at least. I know if you really do try, you can do so much.

Know that Im thinking of you and send you my love, and you know how to reach me. RF is so right..... the world will suffer a great loss, and you will leave alot of people with a deep void.... and hun, you will be giving up on yourself... and you have the world available if you try.

[infamousalbo101]

As I read the post by Rat Faced I think about the time that my cusin committed suicide It changed everyones life drastically his own sister killed herself because of him killing himself

You are a wonderful person and alot of people love you Death is not the answer it can relly effect your loved ones around you.


Just Keep your head up and think about how great the world is and all the people that love you and even if you think there is not anybody thats loves you believe me there is keep you head up and youll do fine.


Riz. :wub:

[zapjb]

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I've had some lousey YEARS. But I've had WONDERFUL YEARS that followed. Hang in there.

[Manny Roscoe]

You gotta go through a lot of shit before things get better....so hang in there... :smilie3:

[tilen76]

My dear friend,

You are one of the finest people I've ever met and I'm not just saying this, I really mean it. I actually feel honoured to have met someone like you.

In tough times it's friends that can push you through and let me tell you, you have some true friends that really care about you. Don't let your friends down. We have a lot of faith in you and we all know what a great person with a lot of potential you are. I hope you feel the same way. You really should.

I've been missing you since the day you "left" us. I'm really looking forward to seeing you back.
Until then remember, you have a lot of friends that really care about you and are here whenever you need them.

hugs,
Tilen
:)

[DanB]

Just read this thread and wanted to add that my thoughts are with you too :)

Stick with things and I hope they turn out good


Good luck :)

[Marius24]

Umm, yeah. I know how you must feel. I have been through months of tourture and I believe you shouldn&#39;t suffer alone. If you have any friends you could turn to for help or if not there are many places you can go for <s>help</s> comfort. Let it all out and it will do you alot of good. My friend had tried to commit suicide, now she has a punch bag hanging in her room for when she gets emotional. Its helps just to let it all out. Hope i helped

[Adster]

To whom it may concern

I have Been through the depression ideal through the entire of last year and seriously thought about pulling the chain several times,(explaisn why I came onto this board) then I thought to myself that would be extremely selfish to my family and friends that is teh easy way out and means you wouldn&#39;t achieve anything in this so called life we have here on earth.

I recently had a few months ago a bets friend i had for teh past 12 years commit suicide the guy was a great friend always laughed then all of a sudden just a sudden change, as I knew that he was never going to be the same person again.

Suicide is really not the way to go coz all it does is hurt the family and friends around you. it&#39;s teh only thing thats keeping me going on this earth.

Yes depression is a pain in the ass to get rid of and I stil am trying to shake it off myself

All I can say is keep your head up and smile yes easy said then done I know

[internet.news]

To whoever you are
( I haven’t&#39; got a clue who you are as your good friends respected your privacy so much),


Don&#39;t really know your scenario but suicide is a lot bigger than getting smashed, trashing your house, or even cutting your wrists. One second you are you, the next second it&#39;s you no more. You won&#39;t have the next thought in your head you were going to have. You won&#39;t see what happens the next day. Your intelligence is gone, your humour is gone, your memory of your battle is gone.

I used to be a counsellor and therefore accept that all the words you have seen before you on this thread are just part of your "story" but dude - you may get a happy ending whatever the situation. Don’t you want to be on the other side of this knowing how strong you were to survive it now that you are in a better situation?

Thoughts of suicide can be your best friend at crap times when you can go along with whatever shit&#39;s happening knowing you got an escape route. It can be so seductively easy to fall in love with the struggle. Forget about it - it&#39;s keeping you in this spiral. Sure, at first not having a safety net will make it feel more raw but I hope you&#39;ve got the balls for that - if not I hope you can get some (please try to find the metaphorical meaning rather than the actual if you are a "she").


For me, yeah…….life&#39;s been shit the last few months (well documented on this forum) but the amount of times I was ready to go all out during that ………...


<could have died and my daughters dad would be dead>


……...now I am glad I didn&#39;t. Even though things are still fucked up and it’s been 3 months since my 2 yr old daughter was abducted. I still might see her again if I keep going. Same for you, there&#39;s a lot of "maybes” out there - if you keep going&#33;.

Like I said at the beginning, I haven’t got a clue who you are so this post is pretty generalised and will probably seem irrelevant - just want to get the point over that you don&#39;t know what your happy ending would have been if you had already pressed [stop]. You also wouldn’t have been able to see how dumb this post was if you had gone half way through then quit. At the moment you live in “time”, - you are not ready to leave that position no matter how much pain you are in. Emotional pain can be the making of a person sometimes and as, I hope, you will survive this it gives you the opportunity to build your character and get deeper with yourself – it can also make people bitter so that’s something to watch out for.

All my best,

Sam4 (PM me and we can arrange to meet on MSN if you want in complete confidentiality)


Guess what&#39;s at the bottom of this post........









..........[something you wouldn’t have seen if you had already disappeared yourself – the next thing you wait to see might actually be something cool].

[hobbes]

Yeah cool, nothing like a post from Hobbes. You want to miss that? Hell, I don&#39;t even know what I am going to post and sometimes I surprise myself.

Suicide does nothing but cause a bridge of pain to span generations.

I would like to know whether you are suffering grief or are suffering from depression.

People like Sam4 have had their world flipped over and have a very specific source of grief. This is treated by time and friends.

Other people feel depressed for no definable reason, these people can benefit greatly from anti-depressants. I had a friend in this position. After 3 months on therapy he said, "I can&#39;t believe I thinking that way, thank God for a those miracle pills". He is alive and well, very well.

[shn]

http://www.chinkii.com/uploads/album/misc/hang-in-there.jpg

Things will cheer up. It helps to talk about what your going through to people that are close to you. :)

[nahan]

Well I havent posted here in some time ,I hope for the sake of your friends and family you give your future the chance that is deserves to blossom into what should be.
You must be going through a rough patch in your life and must be hard to deal with the reality ,unfortunenlty life is about ups and downs.
In order to get on with the present you have to make plans for the future.
Things you want to do and accomplish.

Maybe show those that have put you down know that your better off without them,
and its their loss for doing so. :D

[thewizeard]

I am not sure who you are or what the cause of your depression is, but I do know that a lot of good people have posted here...all of whom I have learnt to care about since I have been a member. So realise that they are your friends and that they really care about you. Time passes and this experience will be a source of enrichment for you.... later you might be able to help someone who also is on the brink....So hang on in.

[evildon]

I don&#39;t know who this is...

I have considered it from time to time....always pulled back...mostly my friends and music keep me going....

[mrcall1969]

Hey Mate, hang in there. I wont pretend to know how you feel and I can&#39;t say anuthing more than what has already been said. All I can say is that without you we probably wouldn&#39;t be here, I know I for one wouldn&#39;t be.

Your wit and sense of humour has cheered me up more times than I can remember, probably more than you know yourself.

I don&#39;t think you realise just how many people there is that love and respect you.

I for one can&#39;t wait til your back with us in 1 place or another.

Take care mate.

Marc.

[CocoColaNut]

Life can be a real mess, I know. I was an abused child by both my divorced, alcoholic parents, I was almost sexually assaulted by my mother&#39;s boyfriend at age 6, "Mother" got there in time drunk, and after he got off my bed also drunk, started throwing up on the kitchen floor, then my mother "woke" me up. I was pretending I was sleeping, at only 6, I was terrified, I thought her boyfriend was trying to kill me. Then she actually made me clean up the throwup while she was having sex with him in another room.
My father beat me severely for no reason, then gave me money to say he was sorry. He did that for years and years. Threw me down the stairs too many times to count.
Both my sister and brother deserted me over a family issue that was not my fault.

Many, many many times I contemplated suicide, but if I did, I would have never had my beautiful son, never would&#39;ve have the family that "adopted" me from my husband&#39;s side which gave me the chance to have a normal family life I so desperately needed, never been able to help others that were or still are in the same situation as I was, and the cycle of abuse that ran in my family for generations would have never been broken if it wasn&#39;t for me. Along with the good, the bad things that can happen to you adds to your own wisdom. What helped me is now I realize that I learned A LOT from my situation. I&#39;m not bitter, just wiser. Forgiveness towards others and yourself is a big part of it. Harboring hate can eat you alive if you let it. Also harboring pity for yourself will not help you... it didn&#39;t help me. The only thing you get from self pity or pity from others towards you will only make yourself feel even more miserable about yourself and lost. Pity doesn&#39;t help. Also, the people in your life that might&#39;ve hurt you, don&#39;t expect apologies from them if they don&#39;t want to be forgiven. What&#39;s important is that you forgive them within yourself. If they don&#39;t want your forgiveness, then they don&#39;t want it. That&#39;s their loss and their frustration, not yours because you have already forgiven them within yourself. If there are people in your life that you hurt, and they don&#39;t want to forgive you, some things you can&#39;t change and some people you can&#39;t change. No matter how badly you want it. They may not forgive you, but if you are sincere in your heart then you should be guilt free. And again, that&#39;s their loss, not yours... and their frustration. Not yours.

Everyone at one time or another creates expectations for themselves. Goals, etc...But sometimes they can be too high, and when they are not reached they consider themselves a failure. No one is perfect and everyone has limits. Too many people compare themselves with everyone else without realizing that those they are comparing themselves with have their own ups and downs that they don&#39;t know about. While some are good with some things, they may not be good with others. No career, no material things you may own or not own, no financial straits, no family problems are worth taking your life to avoid. You never know what could happen tomorrow. Many times when I was "down", I was surprised the next day, the next week, etc. etc. When you hit rock bottom, the only way you can go is up. Guaranteed there will be a way you can go back up again. Don&#39;t give up or look down when you start. "Our greatest accomplishment in life is not in never falling... but in rising every time we fall".

From what I read above, I don&#39;t know you, but I get the feeling
you are a lot like me... a person who feels quite alone, walking in the dark with just a lit candle. You help people with your kindness, your sense of humor and hard work. Some are grateful towards you for it, some take advantage of it. But guess what.. you are not alone&#33; I&#39;m there and so are many others. With our own candles. Please use your wisdom toward those who don&#39;t have candles and are wandering in the darkness blind.
Think about it.
Love,
Ann

[4th gen]

Originally posted by CocoColaNut@28 February 2004 - 01:37
Life can be a real mess, I know. I was an abused child by both my divorced, alcoholic parents, I was almost sexually assaulted by my mother&#39;s boyfriend at age 6, "Mother" got there in time drunk, and after he got off my bed also drunk, started throwing up on the kitchen floor, then my mother "woke" me up. I was pretending I was sleeping, at only 6, I was terrified, I thought her boyfriend was trying to kill me. Then she actually made me clean up the throwup while she was having sex with him in another room.
My father beat me severely for no reason, then gave me money to say he was sorry. He did that for years and years. Threw me down the stairs too many times to count.
Both my sister and brother deserted me over a family issue that was not my fault.

Many, many many times I contemplated suicide, but if I did, I would have never had my beautiful son, never would&#39;ve have the family that "adopted" me from my husband&#39;s side which gave me the chance to have a normal family life I so desperately needed, never been able to help others that were or still are in the same situation as I was, and the cycle of abuse that ran in my family for generations would have never been broken if it wasn&#39;t for me. Along with the good, the bad things that can happen to you adds to your own wisdom. What helped me is now I realize that I learned A LOT from my situation. I&#39;m not bitter, just wiser. Forgiveness towards others and yourself is a big part of it. Harboring hate can eat you alive if you let it. Also harboring pity for yourself will not help you... it didn&#39;t help me. The only thing you get from self pity or pity from others towards you will only make yourself feel even more miserable and lost. Pity doesn&#39;t help. Also, the people in your life that might&#39;ve hurt you, don&#39;t expect apologies from them if they don&#39;t want to be forgiven. What&#39;s important is that you forgive them within yourself. If they don&#39;t want your forgiveness, then they don&#39;t want it. That&#39;s their loss and their frustration, not yours because you have already forgiven them. If there are people in your life that you hurt, and they don&#39;t want to forgive you, some things you can&#39;t change and some people you can&#39;t change. No matter how badly you want it. They may not forgive you, but if you are sincere in your heart then you should be guilt free. And again, that&#39;s their loss, not yours... and their frustration. Not yours.

Everyone at one time or another creates expectations for themselves. Goals, etc...But sometimes they can be too high, and when they are not reached they consider themselves a failure. No one is perfect and everyone has limits. Too many people compare themselves with everyone else without realizing that those they are comparing themselves with have their own ups and downs that they don&#39;t know about. While some are good with some things, they may not be good with others. No career, no material things you may own or not own, no financial straits, no family problems are worth taking your life to avoid. You never know what could happen tomorrow. Many times when I was "down", I was surprised the next day, the next week, etc. etc. When you hit rock bottom, the only way you can go is up. Guaranteed there will be a way you can go back up again. Don&#39;t give up or look down when you start. "Our greatest accomplishment in life is not in never falling... but in rising every time we fall".

From what I read above, I don&#39;t know you, but I get the feeling
you are a lot like me... a person who feels quite alone, walking in the dark with just a lit candle. You help people with your kindness, your sense of humor and hard work. Some are grateful towards you for it, some take advantage of it. But guess what.. you are not alone&#33; I&#39;m there and so are many others. With our own candles. Please use your wisdom toward those who don&#39;t have candles and are wandering in the darkness blind.
Think about it.
Love,
Ann
At the risk of trivialising your post, I have to say it&#39;s one of the most moving stories I&#39;ve ever read. Very meaningful, poignant.

Welcome to the forum, I hope you enjoy your time here :)

[4th gen]

I honestly don&#39;t know who this post is directly referring to, but I&#39;d urge them to think about those around them before they contemplate ending it.
I don&#39;t come from a hard background, I don&#39;t want for anything in my life, but at times, like a lot of other people on our wonderful earth, I&#39;ve seriously considered suicide. Not for long of course, I just have to think about the people around me. My friends and family.

"After every dark night comes a bright day"
Tupac

[Lamsey]

Got an inkling of who this is here, hope he&#39;s been sent a link to the thread...

Life is full of troughs and crests. I&#39;d say it&#39;d be much better to end it on a high than to finish on a low... Life can be crap but it can also be great, and the good can always outweigh the bad.

Give life a chance and it might just surprise you :)

[CrumbCat]

Originally posted by Lamsey@28 February 2004 - 10:23
Life is full of troughs and crests. I&#39;d say it&#39;d be much better to end it on a high than to finish on a low... Life can be crap but it can also be great, and the good can always outweigh the bad.

Give life a chance and it might just surprise you :)
Pretty good thoughts there.......I couldn&#39;t agree more.......those words are good for us all to read and hear.

[Rocktron]

Okay..,

I have been through some shit myself. And still having problems with it as we speak. (or i would have been on the Pub Crawl last saterday)

But.. Nothing can be so bad all though it feels like it now.

A crisis is there for people to look around and really look at what&#39;s important.
So, open your eyes and look around. Stop staring at the floor.. there is nothing happening there.

We are here for you man. Everybody inhere can tell story&#39;s you won&#39;t believe.
Probably even worse than yours.

PM me if you like and let&#39;s talk. You will be surprised how many people share the same thing.

:01:


Rocktron

[FlyingDutchman]

Originally posted by Lamsey@28 February 2004 - 17:23
....Life is full of troughs and crests....

For years I had a picture on the wall that became dear to me.

The picture shows breaking waves on a beach, and text:

"The Lowest Ebb is The Turn of The Tide"

Over the years I&#39;ve learned to appreciate the thruth of these words.
As a concequence, it also tells you you can&#39;t expect the high tide to last forever.

Go with the flow, and enjoy the time things are working out.
Memories of the good times will help you to endure the bad times.

Regards, Han.

[Petri]

Sorry, you can&#39;t make me change my mind...

So, goodbye everyone...

I love you, Crystal... more than you&#39;ll ever know.

[thewizeard]

Goodbye Petri...I will see you next time round.


Edit:
I love you, Crystal... more than you&#39;ll ever know.

To be honest Petri, I don&#39;t think you have the slightest idea of what love is. You want to burden Crystal with this act for the rest of her life, if you really love her, you would not do that.

Sorry man, but my thoughts go out to Crystal.

I wish you strength Crystal.

Edit: I just read Rat_faced post, and realise that I jumped to conclusions...but I will leave this post as it is...

[dgmortal]

edited

[whiterook-2]

Sorry Petri....I shouldn&#39;t have said anything, anyway.
I don&#39;t even know you and i&#39;m sorry for your pain, I know, I&#39;ve been there man.
I lost focus of the more important things in life, and figured
It would be alright to quit trying.
I don&#39;t know what your going thru, mine was medical issues beyond control.
I&#39;m not sure that the our minds allow us to see past the pain sometime...but you need to try...
Funny how you can come up with enough reasons to quit, when your feeling bad. Petri,
you need to focus on the life your GOD
(whom ever that might be) gave you, and ask for help.
Just ask for help, what have you got to loose?
Try it for one week, every night,
especially when your feeling bummed out...

[internet.news]

Originally posted by Skweeky@26 February 2004 - 23:00
Hun,

you are a wonderful person, I have told you that so many times but it&#39;s true. And even with all the troubles you had you were still there for me as much as you could when I was having a hard time.

I know you don&#39;t see it right now but life can be so beautiful, yes, for you too. You are so kind and smart and you have so much going for you if you want. But you have to take the first few steps all by yourself. You will always have people who are there for you and who are ready to listen to you.

I know we can&#39;t be there for you IRL, but it&#39;s something. You are not alone and we care a lot about you, more than you realise.

Paul is right, the people who know you would lose so much if you weren&#39;t around anymore.

:hug:

Please reconsider this, we don&#39;t want to lose you
I don&#39;t know who you mean, RatFaced, but whoever you mean:

I always respected all of you here and I am always opened even
if it might be difficult.

I just say: "Thoughts are like a treasure, if you share them you can enjoy
them together."

PS. I am not feeling well at the moment, have a little headache.
Took some aspirin. Will go to bed soon.

Nice dreams,

David.


Added: Petri, I don&#39;t know having talked to you so far. But as each thought counts
just come on and share it with me. Have some coffee and even if you can&#39;t be
online, offline sharing is quite more important ;)

You all are always welcome in Nuremberg here ;) though it would be hard if
all members would come at once...

[Knuckles187]

Petri, me and you have never seen eye-eye..

but we had one or 2 chats.. before the whole mess started.. and you told me of your problems.. i could never understand them...

i would never try to be bold enought o tell you what to do.. but i can tell ya this aint the right way out.

less then a month ago.

2 of my good friends were biking.. and one came off and died.
the other subsequently asked for my bike to burn off steam. and commited suicide.

that was tough. dont do it. please. think of all these people who do care about you bro..

it killed a relationship(was dead anyway but this clinched) and nearly made me follow the chain.

dont do it.

doubt u&#39;d wanna talk to me.. but u know where to find me..

[Rat Faced]

Originally posted by Petri@29 February 2004 - 15:59
Sorry, you can&#39;t make me change my mind...

So, goodbye everyone...

I love you, Crystal... more than you&#39;ll ever know.
Please be aware that this isnt over a "Chick"

Crystal is one of his best friends, not his Girlfriend.

She isnt part of the problems.


I thought i better say that, as people could jump to conclusions from this post..




Petri,

You have identified yourself in this thread.

To have done that is, in a way, acknowledging that you have a problem to your friends here. They say that acknowledging you have a problem publicly, is the 1st, and hardest step to finding a way through your problems

No one will be unaffected if you leave this way.

You are loved dearly by all of us that know you well, and highly respected by those that have assosiated with you.

As you can see; even people that dont even know you, have been at that point in their lives, and dont want to see you waste yours. We all go through those times.

You are a special guy.

I know you have been fighting for what seems to be forever...but keep fighting mate.

You used to see the internet as a window into the outside, and we were always so glad to see you. It would be nice to see you around again, and in its way, i believe it helped keep those dark times at bay....why not give it a go?


I remember when we 1st met, on #klchat.

You were a lurker that never spoke and we&#39;d never heard of.

Then we had TRX, when they tried to take over.... You, the little lurker that hardly ever posted and never spoke, were one of the hero&#39;s of the board. We were so PROUD to have you with us in there...just quitely sitting, never speaking....except we now always said hello to the little lurker...

When you actually said hello back one day..you could have knocked me over with a feather. When i noticed that there were only certain people that you would talk to at all...made me feel like i was part of an exclusive club. Especially when we found out how knowledgable you were. You helped us IRC n00bs out a lot in the new chat channel..

Then, when it looked like the #klchat channel was doomed as we refused to not share on the servers.... you found one where the ircops understood the p2p community. You overcame your introverted nature enough to register the channel, going overnight from a regular member that rarely spoke on channel, to the channels owner...with all that entails. That, for you, took guts.

I am proud to be included in your circle of friends...and i believe that you can beat this m8. We can help, if you let us....but you have to beat it.


Your not a coward Petri...fight. You&#39;ve overcame it before, you can again.



"Dont let the bastards grind you down"

[Knuckles187]

Originally posted by Rat Faced@29 February 2004 - 23:42
Your not a coward Petri...fight. You&#39;ve overcame it before, you can again.



"Dont let the bastards grind you down"
... what he said.

[internet.news]

Originally posted by Knuckles187@1 March 2004 - 00:30
Petri, me and you have never seen eye-eye..

but we had one or 2 chats.. before the whole mess started.. and you told me of your problems.. i could never understand them...

i would never try to be bold enought o tell you what to do.. but i can tell ya this aint the right way out.

less then a month ago.

2 of my good friends were biking.. and one came off and died.
the other subsequently asked for my bike to burn off steam. and commited suicide.

that was tough. dont do it. please. think of all these people who do care about you bro..

it killed a relationship(was dead anyway but this clinched) and nearly made me follow the chain.

dont do it.

doubt u&#39;d wanna talk to me.. but u know where to find me..
In the last time I many times not feeling well, in some ways a little
depressed and sad about my situation, but though I sometime thought
of killing myself I never could do that as it would hurting my best girlfriend
Ulla once more as she already lost her good girlfriend by this way.

The other thing is I want to share my thoughts.

And the other thing: Feelings have big influence, but don&#39;t let them overcome you.
Take some coffee, no durgs please. Coffee really helps.

Hey come on guy, share my ICQ and MSN informations are in my profile:

I am always opened.

And you can btw. if you want another advise or opinion on this call
0 800 30 1215 - Jezza is making a radio show in london where ppl talking
about issues.

http://virginradio.co.uk

If I am a little confusing you while writing this, I am sorry as I have a little
headache at the moment. Is there anything I did not say, no, I am opened
just ask me.

I have not the right to judge about you, can&#39;t expect nothing of you as
you are just humand, but it JUST makes me feeling sad.

And: each thought counts&#33;

I wish you nice Night Sessions ;) take some coffee...

http://internet-news.gmxhome.de/img_1026.jpg

Nice dreams,

David.

[NikkiD]

Petri,

Sweetie, I wish there were something any of us could say to just make it all go away and take away all your pain. You know that there are many of us that would do anything to take the hurt from you.

I also remember when we first met on #klchat. 4731571. You were one of the only constants in that room, and whenever you spoke it was truly an event. And when you finally did begin to break out of your shell and start to open up with us, many of us felt honoured by it. And as you spoke more, you showed a sheer wit and intelligence that had me laughing so hard at times I couldn&#39;t breathe.

I remember one night in particular, when I was feeling pretty down, going through problems with my ex boyfriend, and you and Rob took it upon yourselves to cheer me up. I don&#39;t know whether you would remember it now or not, but it began with me saying LMAO one too many times, and suddenly, you made a comment that I had dropped my ass, and picked it up and ran away with it. The conversation continued for almost an hour and during it, I was laughing so hard I couldn&#39;t even type. You knew that night that I needed to laugh, and you gave that to me.

Petri, you have so much to offer this world, and you&#39;ve touched a great many people, more than I think even you realize.

Believe me when I say that I have been where you are. If not for a stubborn and brave younger brother, I would not be sitting here typing this. And looking back now, I realize that I am grateful to him for that every day. At the time I wanted nothing more than for it all to just go away. For all the pain to just end. But what I didn&#39;t think about was all the pain that would just be beginning, not for me, but for those that I loved and that loved me.

All I can tell you is that it will get easier, no matter how dark it is right now. You have to keep fighting. It is worth it. You are worth it. And you are strong enough.

[Petri]

Dammit... I was supposed to do it this morning... but when I woke up, I just knew that I couldn&#39;t. I&#39;m seeing a therapist tomorrow, maybe he can help me... and I&#39;m gonna ask for stronger medication...

[junkyardking]

Originally posted by Petri@1 March 2004 - 07:55
Dammit... I was supposed to do it this morning... but when I woke up, I just knew that I couldn&#39;t. I&#39;m seeing a therapist tomorrow, maybe he can help me... and I&#39;m gonna ask for stronger medication...
My grandma committed suicide after suffering for years with Parkinson disease, I understand why she did it, I’m not going to say if you should do it or not as it a personal choice but it does cause pain to other people...

I don’t personally know your medical condition but have you tried any alternative medicines, one of the best for deliberating conditions like MS and other painful conditions seem to be Marijuana far better than any pharmaceutical drugs although this might not right for your condition?

[shn]

Originally posted by CocoColaNut@27 February 2004 - 20:37
Life can be a real mess, I know.&nbsp; I was an abused child by both my divorced, alcoholic parents, I was almost sexually assaulted by my mother&#39;s boyfriend at age 6, "Mother" got there in time drunk, and after he got off my bed also drunk,&nbsp; started&nbsp; throwing up on the kitchen floor, then my mother "woke" me up.&nbsp; I was pretending I was sleeping, at only 6, I was terrified, I thought her boyfriend was trying to kill me.&nbsp; Then she actually made me clean up the throwup while she was having sex with him in another room.
My father beat me severely for no reason, then gave me money to say he was sorry.&nbsp; He did that for years and years.&nbsp; Threw me down the stairs too many times to count.&nbsp;
Both my sister and brother deserted me over a family issue that was not my fault.

Many, many many times I contemplated suicide, but if I did, I would have never had my beautiful son, never would&#39;ve have the family that "adopted" me from my husband&#39;s side which gave me the chance to have a normal family life I so desperately needed, never been able to help others that were or still are in the same situation as I was, and the cycle of abuse that ran in my family for generations would have never been broken if it wasn&#39;t for me.&nbsp; Along with the good, the bad things that can happen to you adds to your own wisdom.&nbsp; What helped me is now I realize that I learned A LOT from my situation.&nbsp; I&#39;m not bitter, just wiser.&nbsp; Forgiveness towards others and yourself is a big part of it.&nbsp; Harboring hate can eat you alive if you let it.&nbsp; Also harboring pity for yourself will not help you... it didn&#39;t help me.&nbsp; The only thing you get from self pity or pity from others towards you will only make yourself feel even more miserable about yourself and lost.&nbsp; Pity doesn&#39;t help.&nbsp; Also, the people in your life that might&#39;ve hurt you, don&#39;t expect apologies from them if they don&#39;t want to be forgiven.&nbsp; What&#39;s important is that you forgive them within yourself.&nbsp; If they don&#39;t want your forgiveness, then they don&#39;t want it.&nbsp; That&#39;s their loss and their frustration, not yours because you have already forgiven them within yourself.&nbsp; If there are people in your life that you hurt, and they don&#39;t want to forgive you, some things you can&#39;t change and some people you can&#39;t change.&nbsp; No matter how badly you want it.&nbsp; They may not forgive you, but if you are sincere in your heart then you should be guilt free.&nbsp; And again, that&#39;s their loss, not yours... and their frustration.&nbsp; Not yours.

Everyone at one time or another creates expectations for themselves.&nbsp; Goals, etc...But sometimes they can be too high, and when they are not reached they consider themselves a failure.&nbsp; No one is perfect and everyone has limits.&nbsp; Too many people compare themselves with everyone else without realizing that those they are comparing themselves with have their own ups and downs that they don&#39;t know about.&nbsp; While some are good with some things, they may not be good with others.&nbsp; No career, no material things you may own or not own, no financial straits, no family problems are worth taking your life to avoid.&nbsp; You never know what could happen tomorrow.&nbsp; Many times when I was "down", I was surprised the next day, the next week, etc. etc.&nbsp; When you hit rock bottom, the only way you can go is up.&nbsp; Guaranteed there will be a way you can go back up again.&nbsp; Don&#39;t give up or look down when you start.&nbsp; "Our greatest accomplishment in life is not in never falling... but in rising every time we fall".&nbsp;

From what I read above, I don&#39;t know you, but I get the feeling
you are a lot like me... a person who feels quite alone, walking in the dark with just a lit candle.&nbsp; You help people with your kindness, your sense of humor and hard work.&nbsp; Some are grateful towards you for it, some take advantage of it.&nbsp; But guess what..&nbsp; you are not alone&#33;&nbsp; I&#39;m there and so are many others.&nbsp; With our own candles. Please use your wisdom toward those who don&#39;t have candles and are wandering in the darkness blind.
Think about it.
Love,
Ann
Interesting.

You hang in there as well http://www.mcbriens.net/liam/img/smilies/thmbup.gif

[internet.news]

Hey Petri, I did not know you much yet, but as I hear from RatFaced you had been
on #klchat or #kchat - I also have been there for some time, but never saw you there - I remember Rpberry been there ;)

But as many ppl saying it seems you are in interesting character - for me everyone
is interesting - come I should have a talk with you ;) Just PM me...

And don&#39;t worry, too much, I told you my situation is also not the best, but that
is quite normal in some ways: Shit happens always. But remain opened.

I know many ppl are not opened and I can&#39;r expect anything of them as they are just humans, that is why I can&#39;t judge about them as well, but I remain honestly
opened and try to be kindly, if possible ;) But I remain opened.

[TARPD]

Originally posted by Petri@29 February 2004 - 15:59
Sorry, you can&#39;t make me change my mind...

So, goodbye everyone...

I love you, Crystal... more than you&#39;ll ever know.
i dont know who you are but that post sounds kinda selfish.

straighten your tie and face your problems man. we all have to do it sometimes

[thewizeard]

Originally posted by Petri@1 March 2004 - 07:55
Dammit... I was supposed to do it this morning... but when I woke up, I just knew that I couldn&#39;t. I&#39;m seeing a therapist tomorrow, maybe he can help me... and I&#39;m gonna ask for stronger medication...
Petri....thank you&#33;

[Knuckles187]

Originally posted by TARPD+1 March 2004 - 14:40--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (TARPD @ 1 March 2004 - 14:40)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin-Petri@29 February 2004 - 15:59
Sorry, you can&#39;t make me change my mind...

So, goodbye everyone...

I love you, Crystal... more than you&#39;ll ever know.
i dont know who you are but that post sounds kinda selfish.

straighten your tie and face your problems man. we all have to do it sometimes [/b][/quote]
yo step off son.

the guys had a hard time.. so slow your roll thinking you can just give your overly fag opinion.

give the guy a break.. he was just breakin out ..

all the people saying its selfish.. need to shuttup.

[NikkiD]

Originally posted by Knuckles187@1 March 2004 - 11:28
yo step off son.

the guys had a hard time.. so slow your roll thinking you can just give your overly fag opinion.

give the guy a break.. he was just breakin out ..

all the people saying its selfish.. need to shuttup.
Tommy hon, not everyone knows the details. That&#39;s all. Don&#39;t fret over it. :)

[shn]

It is selfish because your hurting other people in the process.

Should they do decide to pull the plug, who do you think they will be hurting more?

Themself or the people that cared about them?

Family and friends have to live with it...............the person who dies does not.

Whoever it is you should seek medical attention.

Statistics show that anti-depressants do work

And I do not know about anyone else but if someone is suicidal then what does it say to even be around them. They have let you know that they do not value their life and thus may not care about yours or the people around them.

If I am wrong then prove me wrong by not harming yourself whoever you are :)

[Virtualbody1234]

It&#39;s all and good to try to support someone but only if they want to be supported.

Seek professional help.

[Knuckles187]

Originally posted by NikkiD+1 March 2004 - 16:49--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (NikkiD @ 1 March 2004 - 16:49)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin-Knuckles187@1 March 2004 - 11:28
yo step off son.

the guys had a hard time.. so slow your roll thinking you can just give your overly fag opinion.

give the guy a break.. he was just breakin out ..

all the people saying its selfish.. need to shuttup.
Tommy hon, not everyone knows the details. That&#39;s all. Don&#39;t fret over it. :) [/b][/quote]
/me bites nikki


:D


grrr bloody abusive mods&#33; :P

drop in nik come talk to me.. lol

and yeah i know.. but its stupid.. to talk down to a guy on the edge..

and even after my post they carry on.

LAME

&#33;kb :P rofl

[tracydani]

We lost a friend/family to suicide almost a year ago. No one knows why he did it, but we have all suffered as a consequence.

As far as I know, every last one of us has felt that what he did was the most selfish thing he could have done. He left several people feeling as if they were the cause of his act. One of which was his girlfriend who was only 18 at the time. She will be effected by this in more ways then I care to imagine for years to come and will probably never get completely over it.

If I had the chance to see him again, I wouldn&#39;t ask why(it doesn&#39;t really matter because for him there was no justification). But I would definately beat his ass for what he has done to every one of us.

The only reason I can accept for what he did would have been an incurrable illness that has left him with endless pain. That is the only valid reason in my eyes. His was just an act of pure selfishness. He took the easy way out for himself and goddamn everyone else.

TD

[Illuminati]

Originally posted by Petri@1 March 2004 - 08:55
Dammit... I was supposed to do it this morning... but when I woke up, I just knew that I couldn&#39;t. I&#39;m seeing a therapist tomorrow, maybe he can help me... and I&#39;m gonna ask for stronger medication...
I&#39;m relieved you have reconsidered Petri :)

I only found out a year ago that I would have had another aunt (on my mother&#39;s side) if she didn&#39;t commit suicide when she was young :( Likewise, I almost lost my sister on two occasions after she cut her wrists twice while at university.

Add the fact that I&#39;ve lost a lot of people I&#39;ve known throughout my life via different things (Warrington Bombing (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/65524.stm) cast a shadow over my high school even after a decade of it happening, terminal stomach cancer left my primary school Headteacher in a wheelchair barely able to breathe before he died, a college friend got hit by a car and died from internal bleeding, and I used to know Shafilea Ahmed (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/merseyside/3514249.stm)), I was starting to think I was some kind of horrible jinx http://members.shaw.ca/wenpigsfly/smileys/crying.gif)

I&#39;m glad you&#39;re gonna stand and take what life has thrown at you. Hopefully, there&#39;ll be a time where whatever caused what happened will no longer cause you the distress it seemed to, and you&#39;ll see that life is greener on the other side :) (Damn - I&#39;m starting to sound like David :lol:)

SIDE NOTE - For anyone who cares though, my sister overcame her depression and now has two healthy daughters :) The younger sleeps like a drunk teenager and the older almost causes me and her grandparents to tear our hair out - So naturally like ordinary babies :lol:

[internet.news]

Originally posted by Petri@1 March 2004 - 06:55
Dammit... I was supposed to do it this morning... but when I woke up, I just knew that I couldn&#39;t. I&#39;m seeing a therapist tomorrow, maybe he can help me... and I&#39;m gonna ask for stronger medication...
.........just as I was about to suggest this topic be made into a poll as well :o


Seriously though, glad you moving out of the woods on this and thinking more constructively :D

btw - allow a couple of weeks before any therapeutic stuff / medication kicks in - the answers arn&#39;t that quick but they&#39;ll come :01:



edit - now go post something in the spam thread and chill out a little ;)

[internet.news]

The only real thing that help me if I am depressed and sad is enjoying life,
remain opened even if it is hard and try to think a little positively.

Imagine being on a lone ideal island ;) where no war is - everyone is friendly and
opened the nice way ;)

Just some thoughts...

[TARPD]

i got prescribed prozac but the idea of having to take it made me buck my ideas up, and in the end just struggled through it and didnt need medication :01:


but you may be more severly depressed* than i was.



apparently i was stressed so i was put on anti-depressants*

[RPerry]

Sorry I didn&#39;t get a chance to respond to this thread when it was started, but I am in the middle of my own problems as well, and don&#39;t have the internet access I have enjoyed for so long.

I had only to read the first post, and even though I had not seen or talked to you in some time, I knew it was you Petri. Been a long time my friend. I have lots of good memories from IRC, most of them including you. We were never able to play a full game of tanks, but the food fight we had was a classic. I often wonder where you got off to, and just seeing your post here brightened my day a bit.
Keep your head up pal, you have to know that many of us do care about you, and don&#39;t want to see you hurt.

[sArA]

@Internet News...

Do you think that it is appropriat to ask such intimate questions?

Particularly on a thread set up to support a fellow forum member.

You have attempted to hijack the thread and to turn it into a debate of experiences which is rather missing the point.



Edit by RF:

The remarks Sara is refering to have been removed, although i thnk the comment is still valid for other posts on the thread.

[sArA]

Thanks RF...Couldn&#39;t agree more :)

[j2k4]

I wish I knew you, Petri.

Everyone here has expressed the kind of respect and feeling for you that many crave; I hope you value that as it merits.

The consensus seems to be you deserve better than you have at the moment, and surely this will come to pass.

I hope you stick around to see what&#39;s on the other side, and I hope to get the chance to know you when you&#39;re up to it.


:)

[Mathea]

Originally posted by Petri@1 March 2004 - 07:55
Dammit... I was supposed to do it this morning... but when I woke up, I just knew that I couldn&#39;t. I&#39;m seeing a therapist tomorrow, maybe he can help me... and I&#39;m gonna ask for stronger medication...
Thank goodness. I emailed you quick tonight.... and I tried to sleep and couldn&#39;t. Tonight is the first time I got to look at this post since it was started, and I want you to know that it can get easier hun.

You have so much to offer life. You&#39;ve touched alot of people&#39;s lives, and I hope you know that you&#39;ve greatly effected mine. You&#39;ve opened my mind and I am blessed to have you as a close friend. You always know how to reach me, and I&#39;m always here for you.

It&#39;s hard, and while everyone has their own problems and experiences, on a human level everyone can relate. While we obviously have had different things, you know I will always listen. Please give it time, because so much can happen when you try. And I know it&#39;s hard for you, but you aren&#39;t alone. Remember, people care about you. Please don&#39;t give up. I have faith in you that you can overcome this. It won&#39;t happen overnight but it will happen. And Petri, someday you will be so happy that you couldnt go through with it. Thank you hun, for being you.

[RGX]

I don&#39;t think we have ever met Petri, but from the sentiments shown in this thread I can see you are a dearly loved person...as people have already mentioned, suicide is a long term solution to a temporary problem...please hang in there, consider those you know, those who value you, you have so much opporunity in front of you, please dont throw it away.


Heres hoping you stick around


Andy


RGX

[dlingeverything]

Petri,

I cannot imagine the pain you are experiencing so i will not try and play a game and "convince" you to make a certain decision.

Unfortunately, I did not have the pleasure to know you or remember any of your posts back when I was a more active member.

However, I think I can speak for most of the board members when I say that you are not alone here and we will be there for you if you need any one of us and that we would be very saddened to hear that something has happened to one of our highly respected and valued members.

I wish you luck, strength, and peace

DLE

[bulio]

hang in there man, things will get better, you&#39;ll see :lol:

[internet.news]

update?

[Alex H]

Hey, I don&#39;t know if this will be any use to anyone, but this site is Australia&#39;s best on depression, whether it&#39;s a chemical imbalance in your brain or looking at personal "issues".

The info on drugs that are avaliable is excellent. And drugs DO work even if you don&#39;t like the idea of messing with the chemicals in your body. Even if you don&#39;t like the idea, anti-depressants can at least get you out of your current mood, so you get a break from the low you&#39;re on where you can have a proper look at your life and decide on any changes you need to make.

Beyond Blue helped me identify my depression, (SAD) which was a great thing, as no-one had been able to give me a proper answer as to why I felt like slashing my wrists every February.

If you are depressed, please have a look. If you aren&#39;t, have a look anyway. Chances are, if you don&#39;t hit a big low sometime in your life, one of your friends, or a family memeber will and you will be able to give them some help.

Beyond Blue - Australia&#39;a national depression initutive (http://www.beyondblue.org.au/site/)

[CocoColaNut]

Originally posted by Petri@1 March 2004 - 07:55
Dammit... I was supposed to do it this morning... but when I woke up, I just knew that I couldn&#39;t. I&#39;m seeing a therapist tomorrow, maybe he can help me... and I&#39;m gonna ask for stronger medication...
That&#39;s great&#33;&#33; You are rising again&#33;&#33; It&#39;s a very, very brave thing. Remember, therapy isn&#39;t about what others are doing to you, it is about what you are doing to yourself.

Keep rising, and don&#39;t look down&#33;&#33;

Love,
Ann

[tilen76]

http://www.mcbriens.net/liam/img/smilies/thmbup.gif That&#39;s the spirit Petri.

Remember, there&#39;s lots of people that truly care about you and are always here for support.
Don&#39;t ever lose faith in yourself. We never have.

Tilen

[Rappy]

Depression is a curse a curse which never goes away at best it will fade some but for me that has never happend

[Rappy]

Originally posted by HeavyMetalParkingLot@4 March 2004 - 23:24
This post was removed.
I hate it when people insult people telling them they are stupid for thinking about suicide are you in their situation? no so i don&#39;t think you are in your place telling them it is

[CocoColaNut]

Originally posted by HeavyMetalParkingLot@4 March 2004 - 23:24
This post has been Removed
Obviously you must have some of your own narcisistic mental issues you need to work out. There may come a time when you may be in the same position... what will you do then? (Petri, don&#39;t listen, this one is "beneath" us.) Respond if you want, my ignorance button is lit. You aren&#39;t even worth arguing with.

[TARPD]

Originally posted by CocoColaNut+4 March 2004 - 23:49--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (CocoColaNut &#064; 4 March 2004 - 23:49)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin-HeavyMetalParkingLot@4 March 2004 - 23:24
This post has been removed
Obviously you must have some of your own narcisistic mental issues you need to work out. There may come a time when you may be in the same position... what will you do then? (Petri, don&#39;t listen, this one is "beneath" us.) Respond if you want, my ignorance button is lit. You aren&#39;t even worth arguing with. [/b][/quote]
cocacola... dont patronise him

hmpl... stfu. i think he may be serious

petri... this is what happens if you dont take your medication ;)

[Wolfmight]

Suicide is normally not as turned out as it seems when your dead, because you may never live again. Or you could be born as someone with an even worse condition.
Even if you havnt made any new friends in a "long" time (any amount). that doesnt mean you cant start over.

Here&#39;s some help:

If your in school (most depression is in highschool):
You should try to look hard for others that are also like you (trust me, your never alone). Alot of normal looking people are actually depressed and have barely any friends also. Once you get out of school.. collage is very spaced out. Classes are much shorter and people are more mature and friendly. You could start a new life in collage and the workforce. You wont have to worry about those people that hurt you, because you could allways easily change the place your going to just in case.

A friend of mine has depression (it&#39;s a major secret), and i&#39;ve really helped cover his back.


If someone wants to fight you: hell, running is not for wimps. You could report him for "PHYSICAL ASSUALT" which is a "CRIME"

If someone totally talks shit to you: do something to really make him regret it, like try to Pat him on the back really hard a few times and say," Soo, why are you here?" .. "I wasnt aware that I accidentally went to class clown school instead of getting an education" .. "Please, please&#33;, keep that lame stand up comdey in the bars. Thanks a bunch". ... and if he tries to fight, heh laugh really loud and say.."Oh my god, now your asking for an assualt charge on your perminant record.. that&#39;s haaaalarious". (if he hits ya, run to a staff member of the school and let them know that some guy out of nowhere deliberately hurt you for no reason".


hope this helps

[Alex H]

Originally posted by HeavyMetalParkingLot@4 March 2004 - 23:24
This post has been removed
Shut the fuck up arsehole. If you don&#39;t want to try to help the guy with a few kind words and some advise, piss off. No one is forcing you to post here.

[Lamsey]

Originally posted by Alex H+5 March 2004 - 00:43--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Alex H &#064; 5 March 2004 - 00:43)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin-HeavyMetalParkingLot@4 March 2004 - 23:24
This post was removed
Shut the fuck up arsehole. If you don&#39;t want to try to help the guy with a few kind words and some advise, piss off. No one is forcing you to post here. [/b][/quote]
It&#39;s ok mate, he&#39;s got a history for this kind of thing. Once a troll, always a troll. He&#39;s having a wee bit of a tantrum just now because I made the mistake of ribbing him for being an "amoral shithead". My bad, sorry about that.

[Z-95]

Hang in there man&#33; It&#39;ll get better&#33;&#33; Don&#39;t give in&#33;&#33; This hits home for me as a friend of mine just killed himself Sunday night, Feb. 29. He was well liked, had many friends, and never seemed to have a problem. However, his parents were divorced, he lived with his mom, and she would leave him alone for weeks. He wrote in his palm pilot "I&#39;m sorry, I&#39;m sorry... I can&#39;t I can&#39;t..." right before he hung himself off his stairs. This shook up the whole school, and many of his closest friends are still broken up. Please, don&#39;t do this to yourself and others. Suicide seems like an easy way out, but it causes so much pain.


This is for you man
Doug Cerda
1986-2004

[corvair41]

Originally posted by HeavyMetalParkingLot@4 March 2004 - 23:24
This post has been Removed
some people are depressed some people arnn&#39;t.
some people feel like killing themseves, some people don&#39;t.
some people really care about other people when they are crying out for help. some people like you, don&#39;t&#33; Some People.

[Wolfmight]

If you kill yourself, you are commiting a mass mental murder by hurting atleast 10-20 others. (trust me, 10-20 OTHERS ATLEAST)

I admit i get deppressed sometimes, even when i have a girlfriend and all, but i ushally talk things out. Communication "really" makes you feel better (allmost like sex). So try to find someone you love or are friends with and talk about it. They will listen if they are a true friend. Find some good empty time. Sometimes the opposite sex may understand better, since guys cant really talk personal to other guy friends, so you could also try you parents.

[oldmancan]

Petri,

It&#39;s been a long time since I&#39;ve seen you post. Perhaps you haven&#39;t been as active or we just view different sub-forums. I don&#39;t chat at all so I haven&#39;t had the pleasure of getting to "know" you better that way. I do know that you are loved. It&#39;s rather obvious. This forum and your friends here are part of real life, even if we joke about it not being so.

I got very concerned when I first read RF&#39;s opening post. I didn&#39;t identify you by the post, but it worried me that someone here was so close to suicide that another felt the urge to broach the subject. This is a community and you are part of it. You and I may not be "neighbours" but we are still part of a group.

I will tell you that I have alot of emotional baggage as a result of suicide attempts. And those were just attempts. He has survived.

What hurts so deeply is that someone who I loved with all my heart felt so bad that the only answer seemed to be suicide. Further that he couldn&#39;t confide in anyone to communicate his pain. I thought his life was great. It wasn&#39;t lifestyles of the rich and famous but I thought he had what he needed and most of what he wanted. He was handsome, smart, physically healthy.

Turns out he doesn&#39;t connect well with people, he is very lonely. He doen&#39;t process social cues because he is so busy thinking his own thoughts that he doesn&#39;t pick up body language and verbal connotations. He became isolated and withdrawn when he changed elementary schools. He never made new friends. Things went downhill drastically and fast when he went to high school.

Life will never be easy for him. But I hope it will be rewarding.

I hope the same for you, Petri. Please continue to seek professional assistance.

All the Best,

Craig

[HeavyMetalParkingLot]

Originally posted by Lamsey+5 March 2004 - 02:33--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Lamsey &#064; 5 March 2004 - 02:33)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'>
Originally posted by Alex H@5 March 2004 - 00:43
<!--QuoteBegin-HeavyMetalParkingLot@4 March 2004 - 23:24
This post was removed
Shut the fuck up arsehole. If you don&#39;t want to try to help the guy with a few kind words and some advise, piss off. No one is forcing you to post here.
It&#39;s ok mate, he&#39;s got a history for this kind of thing. Once a troll, always a troll. He&#39;s having a wee bit of a tantrum just now because I made the mistake of ribbing him for being an "amoral shithead". My bad, sorry about that. [/b][/quote]
Well, Lamsey, I am glad to see that I stir your emotions enough to still have this affect on you ALMOST a year later. I myself have apologized to you on multiple times, and have moved on like a adult, you, on the other hand have decided to dwell on it, and bring it up over and over. Now, I think would be a very good time to prove you are more than a little kid, and get over it and move on.


P.S. And to you others how berated me for my post, I am sorry, but this is how I feel on the matter having gone thru suicides on more than a few occasions. I can have no pity whatsoever on anyone, and I mean anyone who is willing to put friends and family thru what they go thru as aftereffects.

[dlingeverything]

Originally posted by HeavyMetalParkingLot+6 March 2004 - 09:17--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (HeavyMetalParkingLot @ 6 March 2004 - 09:17)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'>
Originally posted by Lamsey@5 March 2004 - 02:33

Originally posted by Alex H@5 March 2004 - 00:43
<!--QuoteBegin-HeavyMetalParkingLot@4 March 2004 - 23:24
This post was removed
Shut the fuck up arsehole. If you don&#39;t want to try to help the guy with a few kind words and some advise, piss off. No one is forcing you to post here.
It&#39;s ok mate, he&#39;s got a history for this kind of thing. Once a troll, always a troll. He&#39;s having a wee bit of a tantrum just now because I made the mistake of ribbing him for being an "amoral shithead". My bad, sorry about that.
Well, Lamsey, I am glad to see that I stir your emotions enough to still have this affect on you ALMOST a year later. I myself have apologized to you on multiple times, and have moved on like a adult, you, on the other hand have decided to dwell on it, and bring it up over and over. Now, I think would be a very good time to prove you are more than a little kid, and get over it and move on.


P.S. And to you others how berated me for my post, I am sorry, but this is how I feel on the matter having gone thru suicides on more than a few occasions. I can have no pity whatsoever on anyone, and I mean anyone who is willing to put friends and family thru what they go thru as aftereffects. [/b][/quote]
I am sure you can sort this out through PMs so lets get back on topic:

I&#39;m not sure if you have a complete understanding of what is going on here. You have experienced it, but only from a third person persepective. You do not understand the kind of pain or struggles that the person who is considering suicide is going through to drive them to do such a thing.

I&#39;m quite sure this is not:
"I feel sad and everyone is mean so i am going to kill myself"

I can only guess that these phobias are like a wound that will not heal or go away.

Myself, I think that life too important and valuable to give up through suicide. However, I can understand how a Phobia or other condition could distract a person from knowing this.

[Wolfmight]

Life is about achieveing different types of pleasure.

Seriously, Some examples that I live up to are:

Wonders of the World
Breath Taking Places to live such as next to a huge waterfall on a steamy tropic isle
Sex and Massage
New foods
Computer Enhancements
Movies
Music
Games
Building an Ultimate Creation
Becomeing worldfamous
Inventing something that changes everyone

there&#39;s soo much stuff to enjoy and feeling out in the world.

[Evil Gemini]

I have thought about it alot but believe me, when my sister died, and i could see how upset my family was, i could never put them in that kind of pain again.


HeavyMetalParkingLot


P.S. And to you others how berated me for my post, I am sorry, but this is how I feel on the matter having gone thru suicides on more than a few occasions. I can have no pity whatsoever on anyone, and I mean anyone who is willing to put friends and family thru what they go thru as aftereffects.

I dont know what it is you said, but it must have been pretty bad for it to be removed.

When you were in that state of mind where you wanted to kill your self, would you have liked someone to make you feel even worse ?

[j2k4]

Petri-

Hope you&#39;re hanging in there; please let us know?

[hobbes]

bump

Petri- dish out the info.

[Arm]

:huh: He hasent posted in 15 days? Does that mean hes in a hospital somewhere or he pulled a Kurt Cobain?

[Burre]

I was depressed for 10 years, so I know it is hell...
My key out of it was to start focusing on the good stuff, and enjoying it to the max.
I also started seeing the good in the bad, which also helped...

I don&#39;t know what this specific case is about, but I hope yu don&#39;t do it man..
You know have 6 pages of suport, so obviously, you are being cared about...

th e most important thing I can say, to anyone with phsyicic problems/depression/low self esteem or phobia:
You are what you think you are&#33;&#33;
read, understand, and remember that sentence.....

[Arm]

Originally posted by Burre@16 March 2004 - 12:32
You are what you think you are&#33;&#33;
read, understand, and remember that sentence.....
:o *Arm Tells himself that he is God.*

B) So now Arm is God. Allright. Now it&#39;s time to kill all the moral hypocrites and send &#39;em all to hell. :01:

And depression kicks ass. Stay depressed. But I know you are not listening to us. If Arm was depressed and the Filesharing talk board had an anti-suicide topic dedicated to me ide blow it off too. :smilie4:

[Alex H]

Depression does not kick ass. As someone who spent most of last night with a bottle of scotch and a knife pressed against his wrist, I can tell you that depression sucks ass.

As far as the "coward&#39;s way out" argument goes: I think I am worthless. I think there is no point in living. I hate everything that I am. And on top of that, you call me a coward as well? Thanks a bunch mate, you&#39;re full of inspiration for me.

Sometimes life is not worth living. But sometimes it is. If it isn&#39;t right now, who is to say it won&#39;t change back again? Suck it in and hold out until it ges better, cause it does. And if it doesn&#39;t, you&#39;re going to be dead from old age soon enough anyway so you might as well fill in some time writing a book about how crap life is.

Keep with it Petri - I can feel your pain.

[Burre]

As far as the "coward&#39;s way out" argument goes: I think I am worthless. I think there is no point in living. I hate everything that I am. And on top of that, you call me a coward as well? Thanks a bunch mate, you&#39;re full of inspiration for me. In addition, I would like to add: " there is no person, no object and no situation that would make me happy, Nothing matters"

Exactly my point in prev. post.
If you keep thinking you are worthless, you will stay worthless in your own eyes.
(example: the coolest guy in town, how does he see himself? probably not as a boring, lameass guy..)

Some people believe it is hard to change, but most have never tried.
I was in the depresssion state of mind for 10 years, until I decided to try and "convince" myself of who I really was. It took me 2 weeks to get out of depression.

Another good idea is to write down a list of good things and bad things in your life.
If you are depressed, you will realize there is so much to be happy about, that you never even noticed, or appreciated. Everyone chooses, subliminally, what to think about. A way out is to consciously think of something positive everytime you catch yourself in thinking negatively. because, what you think, does not change anything but yourself.

[Alex H]

Is there any chance of keeping this thread alive and/or pinned? It seems that depression is a big isse in many people&#39;s lives and it would be nice to have a place for encouragement and advice for when board members need it.

You guys have helped me out over the last couple of weeks. Cheers to you all :D

[internet.news]

Originally posted by Alex H@22 March 2004 - 01:13
Is there any chance of keeping this thread alive and/or pinned?
I think this thread should be merged witht he "STFU" thread to make all the posters in that one look really unsympathetic







edit: I think we&#39;d need a new thread for what you got in mind. This thread was about Petri and I bet he&#39;s cringing at it if he&#39;s still around. Let&#39;s let this thread sink and if needs be have a "advice in dealing with depression" thread if that&#39;s what&#39;s needed.

Not a dig at you but I have seen this thread get bumped for weeks and am thinking about how Petri feels about it still being at the top of the board.

[DWells55]

I&#39;m only 14, but I know how you feel. Between stress and depression, I was having a misreable time. Luckily, my parents noticed it and had me go to a psychologist. I went for about a year, and I can honestly say it has helped. I no longer need to see him, and I am slowly going off the medication I received. There are always going to be horrible days, the days where everything goes wrong. I know, I&#39;ve had my fair share of them. Being constantly picked on and laughed at for being a nerd doesn&#39;t help either. But find your way through it, keep going. Chances are that soon there will be a day where everything comes together and things feel right. It may take awhile, but you&#39;ll soon feel better. Even when you think no one cares, they still do. One of the most made fun of kids in my middle school committed suicide. Most of the school was in tears for a week or so. People do care, so even if you feel life is not worth it for yourself, remember that it matters to others. Things will get better. No matter how long it takes they will improve, and you&#39;ll be glad you fought through to see them.

[hobbes]

RF, an update is in order.

Thanks

[motomad]

Whenever I feel this bad I eventually have to ask myself the real reason for my pain, the source of infliction, the value of this source, how the infliction is effecting me, and how long am I going to let it keep me down.

PAIN IN LIFE IS INEVITABLE, BUT, THE GOOD NEWS IS THAT
MISERY IS STILL OPTIONAL.

HOW LONG ARE YOU STAYING IN IT.......????

iI cannot save you, nor can anyone else but I will offer my helping hand when you decide youre ready to get back up.

SIMPLIFY....... IDENTIFY.......DECIDE ........ EXECUTE...... REVIEW RESULTS

SOLVE THE PROBLEM OR ELIMINATE IT

power up or power down .......... either way the choice is yours alone

[Marius24]

I have the solution, it worked for me when i was depressed.

If it is some bullying you or anything whenever anyone or anything gets you down take your frustration out on it&#33; I swear it works and it stops any bullys from fuckin with u :)

[3RA1N1AC]

for some reason i thought this thread was going to be about internet.news.