Java For Noobs

[longboneslinger]

Looking to learn Java, but whats the best guide? Java for dummies, for idiots....is there a Java for "Clueless old farts"?
Also, where can I find it?

I'm looking to start prgramming in general and figured Java looked like a good place to start.

[4th gen]

API (http://java.sun.com/j2se/1.4.2/docs/api/) (very handy, lots of tutorials)