Crimebrother: How They Leave, You Decide

[benxuk]

I/we need some suggestions of what to do when they come back tonight....

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So far, were thinking of having the Monty Python theme blast out as they get to
the gate - accompanied by flashing spotlights and battle field sounds fx...

If I could get there on time i'd get some more paint balls, we've got 2 guns but no
ammo.

I don't know how much I can electrocute them before they die, this is troubling me
if anyone has any idea?

:smilie4:

[Mr. Mulder]

hand the evidense into the police :smilie4:





or chop em into messes :01:
http://www.ex-astris-scientia.org/gallery/artoftrek/st3-klingon-knife.jpg

[Cheese]

Jump out and say,"Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You stole my bike: prepare to die."

[benxuk]

Right i'll get a microphone sorted then, I have a colour camera now too!!!

Get me :01:

edit:

http://www.x-bite.co.uk/webcams/thing.jpg

[GepperRankins]

forgot to point out your pet on the right hand side

[enoughfakefiles]

Originally posted by GepperRankins@22 June 2004 - 21:27
forgot to point out your pet on the right hand side
What you mean thing from the addams family. :o

[GepperRankins]

i think :unsure:


its not quite as technological as bens but hopefully this rollin out from under the tarpaulin will freak them out :01:
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[shn]

n/m

[benxuk]

shn, what was your post :unsure:

[Cheese]

Originally posted by benxuk@22 June 2004 - 23:16
shn, what was your post :unsure:
She said:

"I stole your bike, now I'm coming for your cameras." :ph34r:

[benxuk]

:lol: :01:

[Canti]

Aww man I hate how all the good shows come outta the UK first..
I have to wait for Crimebrothers Canada before I can play...

Seriously though that actually looks kind of fun, I wish I could get in on it. Its like Home Alone WITHOUT that little Culkin freak, AND you get to spring the little traps yourself! HOW COOL IS THAT?

P.S. I strongly recommend you go out and get those paintballs....

[benxuk]

Argos sadly has no 24hr stores :sadwalk:

And i've recently had word a local smackhead has been released and spotted
in the area...

:01: Let the good times roll! (© Kawasaki, or was it Rizla...)

[GepperRankins]

south trip wire set. SIR
http://www.emotioneric.com/sarcresp.jpg

[benxuk]

Oi! Bitches - we want ideas :01:

[Mr. Mulder]

if they're stealing stuff from you then hand the tapes into the ploice, chances are they've done it before with other people, they might even get put away in a cell and get teh man lurve :smilie4:

[benxuk]

:lol: I dunno about you but this is England, things like that don't happen here...

They'll 4 hours community service, :angry:

UPDATE: There is 3 of them :(

[benxuk]

Best shot so far!

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[Cheese]

This is a good one:


Think of the most disturbing thing you could do to your victim! Imagine the reaction you would get from them.

Play this incident over in your mind a few times.

Then: DO NOT DO IT!

Now, here is the fun part: DO NOT TELL ANYBODY THAT YOU HAVE NOT DONE IT!

It will forever remain your secret and even your victim will not know what you didn’t do.

OK, so it requires intelligence and imagination for this one to work. But it does work.

Right now, I’m thinking about the time I didn’t tie my victim up, remove his skin with a blunt file, lightly swab his twitching body with salt and acid, before introducing him to Scotty "McTenInch" McScott, the most violent homosexual in europe, who didn’t bugger him for 17 hours straight with a red hot poker followed by #*@!ting in his mouth.

The fact that I never did this AND more importantly the fact that nobody knows amuses me severely.

YES I AM INSANE YES I AM SICK. FTW you do about it?

:ph34r:

[benxuk]

Mr Scott sounds useful, did you see my feeble first draft (http://filesharingtalk.com/index.php?showtopic=114982&view=findpost&p=1042600)?

[Cheese]

Originally posted by benxuk@23 June 2004 - 12:35
Mr Scott sounds useful, did you see my feeble first draft (http://filesharingtalk.com/index.php?showtopic=114982&view=findpost&p=1042600)?
Nice. :lol:

I should point out that I stole my piece up there...hence the quote box.

[benxuk]

UPDATE: Herion addict sighted!

I've not seen this guy for a while, so either he's still a smackhead or something
else has happened, i'll name him if it turns out (likely) he is involved... my mate
hit him round the head with a Calor Gas can once, t'was fun yesh!

:ph34r: :01:

[sampson]

Are these images from outside your home?

Open Kazaa, download a copy of the 'Anarchists Cookbook' and get to work!!! :ph34r:

[TheRealDave]

wht do they actually do? do they steal stuff or just go into ur garden? :huh:

[GepperRankins]

theyre planning to nick my sister's bike. thas why its, now been replaced with an ironing board :01:

[namzuf9]

Put strong contact adhesive on stuff they may touch, ie the bikes handlebar grips, seat and pedals. You may lose the bike but it'd be worth it :lol:

[GepperRankins]

i have a plan. we have a long chain.

i pput it on the "seat" hanging over the empty biscuit tin, but also attach a string to the chain that goes round the yard to the gate.

then when thhe tarpaulin iis disturbed the chain falls, beeing loud and annoying as fook. the weight pulls the string creating a trip-wire. burglar shits himself and runs for the gate without thinking, trips up and breaks his face. then me and be beat the other two with sticks :01:

[benxuk]

Have you set the chain thing up Dave?

note: Trials have proven its noisy as hell!

TODO:
1 ) IR lamp
2 ) Audio alert

Theres a colour camera setup, works well with IR but I need the lamp setting up 1st.

They stole Dave's SR125 for those not yet aware...

:01:

[brenda]

how are your bikes secured?

perhaps you should build a shed or something

hope they dont come round here we got a CRB400 in the yard

[GepperRankins]

Originally posted by brenda@23 June 2004 - 23:52
how are your bikes secured?

perhaps you should build a shed or something

hope they dont come round here we got a CRB400 in the yard
the bikes in the house. iits an irroning bard in teh yard :01:

[brenda]

Originally posted by GepperRankins+23 June 2004 - 23:54--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (GepperRankins @ 23 June 2004 - 23:54)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin-brenda@23 June 2004 - 23:52
how are your bikes secured?

perhaps you should build a shed or something

hope they dont come round here we got a CRB400 in the yard
the bikes in the house. iits an irroning bard in teh yard :01: [/b][/quote]
irroning bard

:lol:

lmao

[GepperRankins]

Originally posted by brenda+24 June 2004 - 00:00--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (brenda &#064; 24 June 2004 - 00:00)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'>
Originally posted by GepperRankins@23 June 2004 - 23:54
<!--QuoteBegin-brenda@23 June 2004 - 23:52
how are your bikes secured?

perhaps you should build a shed or something

hope they dont come round here we got a CRB400 in the yard
the bikes in the house. iits an irroning bard in teh yard :01:
irroning bard

:lol:

lmao [/b][/quote]
with a petra can, a skateboard and a spade taped on to look like handlebars and the seat :01:



edit: oh i see. you were taking the piss <_< :angry:

[brenda]

taking the piss in a nice gentle kinda way :D

[GepperRankins]

well, in that case i take back my wish that they steal your crb400

[benxuk]

UPDATE:

They came back at 1:52:13 (to be precise) :smilie4:

I&#39;ll put some pictures up when i get this media player shite sorted...

[benxuk]

UPDATE: They came back&#33; Again&#33; 3 yes... 3 of them&#33;

I&#39;m shaking right now, along with GepperRankins (who pwns all)

I&#39;ll post full story (my version & GR&#39;s) along with video and stills...

Also i&#39;m thinking of making a movie, producers and casting agents pm me&#33;

A slightly :x benxuk EOT

:01:

[GepperRankins]

its a pity the camcorder in thhe kitchen ran out off tape and batteries.


i&#39;d love to see their expressions when they realised that they were trying to nick this :lol: :lol:

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[sampson]

What ever happened with this?? :huh:

[benxuk]

Dave&#39;s prepared a little (aweful quality) video of the chase&#33;

w00t - get some (http://www.x-bite.co.uk/webcams/burglaaaaarrrrggggghhhhhhs.wmv)

:01:

[Cheese]

Originally posted by benxuk@25 June 2004 - 16:19
Dave&#39;s prepared a little (aweful quality) video of the chase&#33;

w00t - get some (http://www.x-bite.co.uk/webcams/burglaaaaarrrrggggghhhhhhs.wmv)

:01:
That&#39;s not that bad quality...

Did you catch up with them then?

[Skweeky]

Yeah, that&#39;s what we all want to know? What did you do to them?

[sampson]

OMG&#33; OMG&#33; :o

WHAT HAPPENED??? :o :o

[Mr. Mulder]

what are those things in your hands? Lightsabers? :huh:

[benxuk]

Well, as much as i&#39;d like to go all Jonno on you and say that we killed them and fed
them to pigs...

They got in 2 cars and tryed to kill us, it was fun yesh, getting almost runover is
really frikkin&#39; scary...

But GepperRankins pwnd them teh mostest - he just stood there with a steel bar
and a "you want to fuck with me" face, car move out of his way&#33;

I was just :drool: <- using this for its open mouth

...thinkin&#39; Dave was gonna get squashed was scary, but the car turned away from him - he is teh l33t :01:

[benxuk]

Originally posted by Arcadia@25 June 2004 - 16:42
what are those things in your hands? Lightsabers? :huh:
:lol: There the bars from my weights... its all we had that wasn&#39;t to pointy.

[internet.news]

Originally posted by Arcadia@25 June 2004 - 16:42
what are those things in your hands? Lightsabers?&nbsp; :huh:
lmao :lol: :lol: :lol:




Well done Ben and Dave :01:

[Canti]

AWESOME&#33;

The ghost of Charles Bronson smiles upon you.

[GepperRankins]

i just went down to the shop and bumped into the big guy (first in the garden on the movie)

he cheered at me and said hello, i gave him a funny look. WTF do i do now?

[internet.news]

Originally posted by GepperRankins@25 June 2004 - 21:45
i just went down to the shop and bumped into the big guy (first in the garden on the movie)

he cheered at me and said hello, i gave him a funny look. WTF do i do now?
http://img78.photobucket.com/albums/v239/spam4/s34.gif

[TheRealDave]

rofl that rocks&#33;&#33; where abouts are you from? :lol:

[internet.news]

best thing is the last few seconds of that video - I thought it was just going to be watching the burglars then all of a sudden Dave and Ben went Fight Club on them :01:

[benxuk]

:01:

If they come back (after all this) wtf do we do?

Anybody? Please? :ph34r:

[TheRealDave]

Originally posted by benxuk@25 June 2004 - 23:38
:01:

If they come back (after all this) wtf do we do?

Anybody? Please? :ph34r:
if u get in a fight with them, hit them in the knee as hard as u can :D


and if that dotn work, fone the cops and show them the videos :rolleyes:

[benxuk]

I reckon having had a chase, if they come back they&#39;ll be geared up to the max (or there abouts).

:helpsmile:

:01: oh well...

:music1:

[GepperRankins]

you know what we need? sticks with nails in. just for the cars


of we could mae hand-held tank traps :01:

[benxuk]

How the hell do we make tank traps? :huh:

Oh and... wtf are they? :blink:

[internet.news]

Originally posted by benxuk@25 June 2004 - 23:52
How the hell do we make tank traps? :huh:

Oh and... wtf are they? :blink:
He meant tank tops ;)

[benxuk]

:o No, thats far to scary, even the most hardened criminals fear the tank top. :ph34r:

[GepperRankins]

best pic i could find

http://www.falconshanger.com/files/Tank_Trap.JPG

[benxuk]

:01: :lol: :lol: :lol: :01:

Yeah thanks Dave&#33;

[GepperRankins]

if you make em about 14 inches wide they&#39;d rip the underside of a car to peices

[*goddess*]

:) Could you get a "this property has videosurveillance sign" then hand the film over to the cops. Tho I don&#39;t s&#39;pose they&#39;ll be able to do much.

[GepperRankins]

Originally posted by *goddess*@26 June 2004 - 00:52
:) Could you get a "this property has videosurveillance sign" then hand the film over to the cops. Tho I don&#39;t s&#39;pose they&#39;ll be able to do much.
the burglars dont know we have the cameras. it might be best to keep it that way. we live in britain so we cant expect anything from the police. we dont want a war (yet B) ). so we dont want them to have any reason to try and silence us, you dig?

[*goddess*]

:frusty: Yeah gotcha, I was also thinking if they knew you had them on film they might try and break into the house to steal cam/film. :ph34r:

[benxuk]

:lol: Way to put the windys up us even more goddess&#33; :D

But yep, i&#39;ve been thinking about that... but the ballsy guy in me (he&#39;s very small)
reckons the way the head honcho&#39;s bottom lip was tremblin&#39; when they ran off
that there glad there alive...

Also, the way Dave pwnd them without moving an inch :01: (and without any thought
fir his own safety :frusty: ) - I don&#39;t think were dealing with cold murderers...

ps: I still may edit this in time ;)

[*goddess*]

:blink: But I wasn&#39;t trying to put the wind ya up, must just be a special talent I have. :ph34r:

[benxuk]

Well it could be worse I suppose, you could suck?&#33; :music1:

[GepperRankins]

Originally posted by benxuk@26 June 2004 - 01:32
:lol: Way to put the windys up us even more goddess&#33; :D

But yep, i&#39;ve been thinking about that... but the ballsy guy in me (he&#39;s very small)
reckons the way the head honcho&#39;s bottom lip was tremblin&#39; when they ran off
that there glad there alive...

Also, the way Dave pwnd them without moving an inch :01: (and without any thought
fir his own safety :frusty: ) - I don&#39;t think were dealing with cold murderers...

ps: I still may edit this in time ;)
its hard to run and poo at the same time :fear:


but seriously i was torn between running away and trying push nala out the way of the car like they do in movies, so i just stood there like this http://img69.photobucket.com/albums/v210/TheDave/yomooticons/poeper-omg.jpg

[*goddess*]

@ Ben :blink: ya lost me.

GR if they haven&#39;t come back yet that&#39;s a good thing innit? Maybe you did scare em off.

[internet.news]

at some poitn we are gonna need a pic of Dave giving that "dion&#39;t fuck with me "look

[benxuk]

wind -> blow -> suck :huh:

:D

[*goddess*]

:rolleyes: Ah, you mean my special talent could be sucking.


:smilie4: I can&#39;t say any more




don&#39;t like to brag really. :P

[GepperRankins]

Originally posted by samsamsamsam@26 June 2004 - 01:45
at some poitn we are gonna need a pic of Dave giving that "dion&#39;t fuck with me "look
http://img69.photobucket.com/albums/v210/TheDave/yomooticons/poeper-yogimodel.jpg

[*goddess*]

;) I thought you&#39;d look scarier than that.

[GepperRankins]

Originally posted by *goddess*@26 June 2004 - 01:53
;) I thought you&#39;d look scarier than that.
thats i hired actor. to see my face would cause you to die instantly

[*goddess*]

:o death by lightsaber? :ph34r:

[benxuk]

Only if you swallow :01:

[*goddess*]

:helpsmile: swallow a whole lightsaber??


;) I&#39;m not that bloody good. :lol:

[benxuk]

Not even Jonnos?


Sorry, I meant to refer to a small weapon... :rolleyes:

[*goddess*]

I thought you were talking about your lightsabers.

[benxuk]

Have you seen them yet? :unsure:


I really should post a we had these weapons image soon... :01:

[*goddess*]

:) Post away then.

[benxuk]

I need Dave to get my shurikens out <_< he hid them, grr :angry:

[*goddess*]

:frusty: Bad Dave then.

[GepperRankins]

got em

[internet.news]

has it reall;y go tdown to layundry talk?



edit - but spelt better

[GepperRankins]

benand goddess youre ruining this thread. you know who you emind me oof?


nikkid and jonno

[benxuk]

Okay sorry Mr. Typo...

Post the shurikens and get back to topic&#33; :01:

[*goddess*]

;) My apologies also.

[internet.news]

Originally posted by benxuk@26 June 2004 - 02:27
Okay sorry Mr. Typo...

Post the shurikens and get back to topic&#33; :01:
I hope you don&#39;t mean me because I like your work

[GepperRankins]

i feel i shoiuld apologisse too, no-one should be compared to jonno

[benxuk]

Nope its the only thing I can throw at Dave after teh ownage last night :01:

[GepperRankins]

Originally posted by benxuk@26 June 2004 - 02:32
Nope its the only thing I can throw at Dave after teh ownage last night :01:
:unsure: stop bumming me&#33;

[benxuk]

Sorry, its just you&#39;ve never reacted in a situation like you did then, its like for 18
years you&#39;ve been preparing... :ph34r:

[internet.news]

stfu AND PAY ATTENTIOPJNM TO M,Y KITTNES

[GepperRankins]

i dont like fighting but when som fux0r steas my bike i aint just gonna run

[internet.news]

Originally posted by GepperRankins@26 June 2004 - 02:39
i dont like fighting but when som fux0r steas my bike i aint just gonna run
I saw you run at that geptard with a lightsaber dude

[*goddess*]

:) It looked like you guys did a good job chasing em off, shame we couldn&#39;t see the rest of it.

[rf9rider]

Has nobody else noticed that your dog ran the wrong way? :lol:

First thing i would do is get him trained.
My dog is trained to guard my garage with his life, as it contains my Fireblade.

[GepperRankins]

Originally posted by rf9rider@26 June 2004 - 05:10
Has nobody else noticed that your dog ran the wrong way? :lol:

First thing i would do is get him trained.
My dog is trained to guard my garage with his life, as it contains my Fireblade.
the dog is so fucking stupid. i was screaming for her to move and there was a car driving at her about 60 mph, and she just stood there snifffing someting in the grass :angry:

[internet.news]

Originally posted by GepperRankins+26 June 2004 - 05:12--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (GepperRankins @ 26 June 2004 - 05:12)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin-rf9rider@26 June 2004 - 05:10
Has nobody else noticed that your dog ran the wrong way?&nbsp; :lol:

First thing i would do is get him trained.
My dog is trained to guard my garage with his life, as it contains my Fireblade.
the dog is so fucking stupid. i was screaming for her to move and there was a car driving at her about 60 mph, and she just stood there snifffing someting in the grass :angry: [/b][/quote]
It looked goood thoug how she sprang out at the same time

[Voetsek]

Dyslexic like me eh

[benxuk]

They have been back again&#33;

WTF DO I DO NOW&#33;

They were checking the place out, then went...

Looks like i&#39;m up all fucking night again&#33; :angry:

We&#39;ve lived here 18 fucking years, why does this all have to happen now&#33;

:wub: all wound if I don&#39;t make it thru teh night alive...

[*goddess*]

:unsure: Guess it&#39;s too late now to get some of your mates around.

Is there still 3 of em?

[keyser_soze]

First if theres immediate danger as much use as they are as much use as a man short get the local politizia round just to keep the eyes, smack rats contrary to popular beliief don&#39;t like getting lifted cos it takes em ages to get another fix, then long term plan send me a pm, englands a small country u can be anywahere in 7 hours, I&#39;ll bring a few friends round and well have a drink and watch the cam . if our men turn up I&#39;ll personally smash thier front teeth out with a ball hammer, its the only language they understand.

[benxuk]

I dunno, they send the whippn&#39; boy round first to assess things...

If anybody even looks at our house that way tonight i&#39;m going down for murder.

:angry:

[keyser_soze]

Its ok we can keep the whipping boy as a hostage, have some fun with him for a while, I&#39;ve git a vice here we can put his head in :D he&#39;ll soon get the word on the street that its not a house to be creaping round ;) I had same problem with 1 up the road, I had to go out at 5in morning because he threw a brick through some1&#39;s
car window saying that some pakis(his word not mine) were robbing his house and that my van was something to do with it, I had 2 explain that if he did&#39;nt go away I was gonna put a hole in him with a carving knife, he probably believed me cos I had it in my hand at the time, anyways police landed I threw the knife in grass and he got lifted, I creeped outside and retrieved the knife and went back to bed, within 30 mins the police had 2 halogen lights lighting up my back garden like it was daylight and knocked to say he&#39;d made a complaint I threatened him with a knife, I said yeah but he also thought I was robbing his house aswell, job sorted ;)

Wheres the justice :D

[Burglar]

Originally posted by benxuk@27 June 2004 - 01:42
I dunno, they send the whippn&#39; boy round first to assess things...

If anybody even looks at our house that way tonight i&#39;m going down for murder.

:angry:
dream ed we&#39;re &#39;av&#39;n yer bikes ternight

[Mr. Mulder]

you know what you have to do

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[Burglar]

Originally posted by Arcadia@27 June 2004 - 15:29
you know what you have to do

Image Resized
Image Resized
[img]http://www.ctk.ne.jp/~y-anzai/graphic/sw/lightsaber.jpg' width='200' height='120' border='0' alt='click for full size view'> (http://www.ctk.ne.jp/~y-anzai/graphic/sw/lightsaber.jpg)
w&#39;s dat is it worth anyth&#39;n?