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TheDave
12-31-2004, 03:49 PM
yesterday i was taking the dog for a walk.

we'd just got to the top of the hill when i saw an old lady having a fight with a foulmouthed young man wearing a bandana. when i went closer i saw he was a wanted criminal and was actually mugging her. i uppercutted him into a tree where luckily for him he was out of reach of me.

unfortunately for me he had his mobile and phoned his homies, after about 15 seconds they got off the train. there were 14 of them in total, introduced themselves as JR and the lucky thirteen (JR was up the tree).

so then i had to do some crazy bullet time stuff and fight them, luckily the old lady could fight too. anyway i gave the cat orders to scratch strips of bark from a nearby tree which i used to tie up the stunned gangstas

after spending 3 months under a witness protection scheme the mayor thought i was hard enough to handle myself and come back to town. he gave me a george cross in a ceremony last saturday.

you aren't allowed to tell anybody about this though
Snee
12-31-2004, 03:58 PM
Cll, I like totally believe you.
Cheese
12-31-2004, 03:59 PM
Something similar happened to me...

Last night I heard a train going out of control on the tracks so I chased after it down the street and managed to stop it by cleverly inserting magnets under the wheels. Turns out an international thief posing as a terrorist was trying to steal the train.

Then the next week the international fake terrorist, Wilhelm Gruber, abducted my sister and held her to ransom. I enlisted the help of my good friends Batman and Aquaman and we went down to Gruber's base in Cornwall. His base was guarded by robot ninja dogs but they were no match for us.

After an apocolyptic battle we defeated Gruber by combining all our powers and becoming Aquacheesebat, this left us very drained so we have been in hospital all of this morning. I had sex with 15 of the hot female nurses.

The Queen has just emailed me to let me know that I have just been put to the top of the New Year's Honours list and that she is going to make me a prince. I might also be in with a shot of boning her and they do say old birds are more experienced...
manker
12-31-2004, 03:59 PM
:lol: http://www.sighost.us/members/danb/glag.gif

You've deserved this:

http://img105.exs.cx/img105/1338/medal3os.jpg
TheDave
12-31-2004, 04:01 PM
:ohmy:
Snee
12-31-2004, 04:02 PM
hawt
TheDave
12-31-2004, 04:06 PM
withcheeses made me cry :glag:
Snee
12-31-2004, 04:08 PM
withcheeses made me cry :glag:
If there were more than one I'd cry to let me tell you.
DanB
12-31-2004, 04:23 PM
interesting evenings then
bujub22
12-31-2004, 05:17 PM
:lol: lmao
sArA
12-31-2004, 05:29 PM
I got up one morning and walked to the corner shop where I bought a local paper.

I bet you are all really impressed with my bravery and prowess now huh?
TheDave
12-31-2004, 05:31 PM
I got up one morning and walked to the corner shop where I bought a local paper.

I bet you are all really impressed with my bravery and prowess now huh?

can anyone else smell bullshit?
sArA
12-31-2004, 05:31 PM
can anyone else smell bullshit?


You mean you don't believe me? :crying:
TheDave
12-31-2004, 05:34 PM
even you gotta admit its a tad OTT
DanB
12-31-2004, 05:36 PM
I might have soime fantastical stories in the morning
lynx
12-31-2004, 05:36 PM
You mean you don't believe me?
Course we do.

See below.
sArA
12-31-2004, 05:39 PM
Its true I tell ya!!!!!


It was made of paper, had black printy stuff all over it...and besides I got a witness....the paper shop man can vouch for me.... :shifty:




(Oh ok...I did take the car...you got me there :whistling )
TheDave
12-31-2004, 05:41 PM
let me guess. he cant post cos he's working or doesn't have the internet
Cheese
12-31-2004, 05:45 PM
Its true I tell ya!!!!!


It was made of paper, had black printy stuff all over it...and besides I got a witness....the paper shop man can vouch for me.... :shifty:




(Oh ok...I did take the car...you got me there :whistling )

A "paper shop"? Don't be foolish it would blow away...



Is that my coat, thanks.
sArA
12-31-2004, 06:29 PM
let me guess. he cant post cos he's working or doesn't have the internet


How did you guess???!!!!! :w00t: You must be a side-kick :lol: :lol:


@Cheese....left me self WIDE open to that one..... :lol: :lol: :lol:



edit: bloody innuendoes :angry: creep up and slip in without aaanyone noticing :whistling
Biggles
12-31-2004, 06:30 PM
How did you guess???!!!!! :w00t: You must be a side-kick :lol: :lol:


@Cheese....left me self WIDE open to that one..... :lol: :lol: :lol:



edit: bloody innuendoes :angry: creep up and slip in without aaanyone noticing :whistling

Indeed! tehy are slippy slidey things.