Amazon fun & frolics (for FST)

[MCHeshPants420]

Posted this on my forum but maybe some FST'ers have some ideas of how I should reply:

Selling my mp3 player, got this email:


HELLO,
I AM INTERESTEDIN THE PURCHASE OF YOUR ITEM
Creative JukeBox Zen NX Extra 60GB,
WHICH WAS ADVERTISED IN MY STORE BY
AMAZON.CO.UK,I WILL LIKE TO BUY THIS ITEM AND WILL BE
PAYING YOU VIA PAYPAL AND I WILL LIKE THIS ITEM TO BE
SHIPPED ASAP
ONCE PAYMENT IS CONFIRMED,AND WILL ARRANGE THE
SHIPPING LABEL WHICH YOU WILL USE IN DROP OFF TO ANY
FEDEX COURIER NEAR BY,IF YOU ARE INTERESTED, KINDLY
MAIL ME BACK WITH YOUR FULL NAME AND ADDRESS FOR
PAYMENT AS SOON AS POSSIBLE AND IT WILL BE SHIPPED TO
WESTERN AFRICA,THANKS.
BEST REGARDS

To which I replied:


Thanks for your interest in the item for sale. Please use the Amazon
shop to purchase the item. There is no need to use Paypal, nor will I
use Paypal (or any method other than Amazon) for the sale of this
item.

If Amazon confirm that you have purchased the item I will gladly send
it ASAP. Otherwise there will be no sale.

Thanks.

He replied:


ok,
i have made your payment, and i will like you to
get this item shipped via royal mail once you got
payment confirmation from amazon, and also i will not
be able to send you the fedex shipping lable at the
moment, and i will like you to ship the item via royal
mail today.


Up to then I was having trouble believing him but then Amazon sent me an email to clear everything up:


Dear Dave Cheese,
This is amazon.com new customercare we are very sorry for the inconvinience,
we will be sending your money into your amazon account immediately.
After Ben Jack\'s merchandise has been sent to him and after the merchandise is been sent, you should mail our customercare the tracking number for verification so that we can send the money to your account , end up the transaction on amazon and also send you a verification order confirmation.
Ben Jack is one of our truthfull buyers at our web page,and we will try to cash out your money from his credit card been registered
with us,so do not delay his merchandise because he complained to us that
the item is urgently needed, so once we cash the money out of his account the money will be transfered into your amazon account,sorry for the way we contact you we are having a little problem with our customercare which will soon be sorted out in few days time, so you can go and ship
the item.

Note..
You must not mail the buyer the tracking reference number, until you are told to do so, and also make sure you get back to us with the tracking reference number of the shippment to our customerservice at :
[email protected]

Buyers Shipping Address.

Ben Jack
14 sanni olabode street abule egba
Agege
lagos
Nigeria
23401.

Thanks
Manager.

[Guillaume]

Well, first of all, I'd edit my post (once more) and edit out my name, David. ;)


I'm not extremely familiar with amazon, but their new customercare service people seems to type in incredibly bad english. This coupled to the fact the guy is from Nigeria, I'd be extremely suspicious.
The phishing scams are getting more sophisticated every day that passes.

And I'm paranoid, but that doean't really count, does it?

[manker]

Don't send 'owt til the money is in your account no matter what they say.

See about securing a 15% surcharge for teh eye-bleedage too :dry:

[MCHeshPants420]

I like the email address: [email protected] :lol:



@Guillaume: Didn't see my name on there, cheers.

[Mr. Mulder]

use ebay for selling mp3 players, i've sold one or two and got back more than what i paid for them :ermm:

[manker]

:lol: :lol: :D

Obviously I didn't read it properly. I can now see that it is entirely legitimate and would urge you to send the mp3 player straight to myBen Jack's address without further phishing about.

[MCHeshPants420]

I'm thinking of asking "Amazon" to mail me some money (in cheque form, I guess) to cover the postage before I'll send the item off.

[JPaul]

It might be easy just to send him your bank details and he can just deposit the cash directly. That customer care sounds a bit iffy.

[{I}{K}{E}]

Nigeria is full of scammers!

[JPaul]

Nigeria is full of scammers!
That really is rather harsh

[Barbarossa]

I bought something once. The guy wanted me to pay via electronic money transfer. I scanned in a photo of some notes and coins, and emailed it to him.

The goods never arrived.

This internet shopping thing sucks :(

[{I}{K}{E}]

Nigeria is full of scammers!
That really is rather harsh
it's true.

[MCHeshPants420]

That really is rather harsh
it's true.

I think it would be fairer to say that a lot of scammers seem to come from Nigeria. However, I doubt that the majority of their country is in on it. ;)

[JPaul]

That really is rather harsh
it's true.
That Nigeria is a den of scamming, what makes you say this.

[MCHeshPants420]

My reply to "Amazon"


Hello

I have taken the item off Amazon ready to send off to Ben Jack.
Unfortunately I do not have the money to send for postage. The last
time this happened you were able to send me the money to cover the
postage expense.

Please can you advise me on what I should do to get the postage
upfront. I estimate that postage will cost $8.

Thanks in advance.

David.

His reply:


Dear Dave Cheese, Thanks for your mail,you can make the postage with your money, we will deduct it from Ben Jack's credit card as soon as you have made the shippment today. Regards Manager.

My reply:


Hello

I need just enough money to post the item Ben Jack has ordered as I
have no way of paying postage myself. If this is not possible I will
have to list my item elsewhere.

David.

His reply:


Dear Dave Cheese, We can't understand you, We said your money is deposited with us, even with shippment fee, so you can go and ship the item, and once this is done we will transfer your money as soon as possible into your account. We hope you can understand us better now. Regards Manager.

My reply:


It is good that you have the money but I need a little bit of it sent
to me now because I can not afford to post it else.

Thanks in advance.

David.

Then he sent me a repeat email :blink: :


Dear Dave Cheese, We can't understand you, We said your money is deposited with us, even with shippment fee, so you can go and ship the item, and once this is done we will transfer your money as soon as possible into your account. We hope you can understand us better now. Regards Manager.

Me:


I'm afraid it is you who does not understand. I am asking you to post
me the money for the shipment as I cannot pay it at the moment. I have
the item boxed up and ready to go, I just need the money for postage.

If this is not possible I will have to cancel the sale.

David.

[Guillaume]

You'd better cancel it anyway as it smells fishier by the minute.

And edit out your name again. ;)

[MCHeshPants420]

The last email came from [email protected], and he forgot to turn the sigs off:


Free, simple, fast, memorable email
Become [email protected] at http://www.emailaccount.com/

:lol:

[JPaul]

You could send it without paying the postages and they could pay it when they are receive the goods.

That seems a sensible and approach to be doing the business..

You must to see the big picture Mr Dave.

[MCHeshPants420]

And edit out your name again. ;)


Doh. I am so getting stabbed (http://www.vnunet.com/vnunet/news/2137705/online-game-ends-murder) next time I get into an argument on teh forums. :ph34r:

[MCHeshPants420]

You could send it without paying the postages and they could pay it when they are receive the goods.

That seems a sensible and approach to be doing the business..

You must to see the big picture Mr Dave.


I think that is what I will reply then.

How much to send a picture of my mp3 player in the post to Nigeria? :shifty:

[JPaul]

You could send it without paying the postages and they could pay it when they are receive the goods.

That seems a sensible and approach to be doing the business..

You must to see the big picture Mr Dave.


I think that is what I will reply then.

How much to send a picture of my mp3 player in the post to Nigeria? :shifty:
Nothing, if you don't put a stamp on it.

[dgolso0]

This site http://www.zug.com/pranks/powerbook/ has all the information you need. Good luck.

[JPaul]

Are you suggesting this is some sort of prank being pulled on Mr Dave

[dgolso0]

No.... Suggesting that it is a scam which lends itself to becoming a prank.

[Virtualbody1234]

No.... Suggesting that it is a scam which lends itself to becoming a prank.
Really?

[MCHeshPants420]

Dear Seller, We are very sorry for the incovinience, if that is the case, You can end up your transaction with us on amazon, and also if you can not get money and ship this item, we will be unable to transfer the money. Regards Manager.

:(

I told him I could send the item without postage but I don't think he's biting anymore.

[dgolso0]

Just a thought - http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/browse/-/4060771/104-3557533-1927144

[GepperRankins]

the powerbook guy dissappeared without a trace :ermm:

[MCHeshPants420]

Just a thought - http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/browse/-/4060771/104-3557533-1927144

Yeah, I reported it now.

[JPaul]

Dear Seller, We are very sorry for the incovinience, if that is the case, You can end up your transaction with us on amazon, and also if you can not get money and ship this item, we will be unable to transfer the money. Regards Manager.

:(

I told him I could send the item without postage but I don't think he's biting anymore.
Don't give up that easy.

Tell him you can borrow the money from your Gran, but you need payment quick coz it will come from her meagre pension.

[dgolso0]

"No, Professor, don't give up. There were plenty of times in my century when I was going to give up, but I never did, never. Hey, are you even listening to me? Oh, I give up" (Fry-Futurama)

[JPaul]

Homer: Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals ... except the weasel.

[manker]

What. So it was a scam all along!!1

[JPaul]

What. So it was a scam all along!!1
Apparently so, but I don't see how it would be a scam. If Mr Dave is selling it and Amazon have the money held for him then what could go wrong.

[manker]

What. So it was a scam all along!!1
Apparently so, but I don't see how it would be a scam. If Mr Dave is selling it and Amazon have the money held for him then what could go wrong.The mighty Chebus harbours no pity for poor interwebians and their narcotic need for electrical gadgets :(

[Snee]

What. So it was a scam all along!!1
Apparently so, but I don't see how it would be a scam. If Mr Dave is selling it and Amazon have the money held for him then what could go wrong.
See, that's where you are all wrong. It wasn't amazon, it was an amazon.

Prolly too busy running around chopping up people to learn how to spell.



I've been watching Xena, I knoez about these things :happy:

[MCHeshPants420]

He's not replying at all now. My days as a master baiter are over.:(

[Snee]

Now sign him up at a couple of pron-sites and whatnot so he gets a bit of spam.

[manker]

He's not replying at all now. My days as a master baiter are over.:(Feck. I didn't realise that you had your rod out.

[JPaul]

Don't talk about roddage. manker is the master baiter hear.

It speaks for itself.

[MCHeshPants420]

Not really going anywhere now:

Him:


Dear Seller, We are very sorry for the incovinience, if that is the case, You can end up your transaction with us on amazon, and also if you can not get money and ship this item, we will be unable to transfer the money. Regards Manager.

Me:


I have decided to send the item with no postage attached to it and it
will be up to Mr Ben Jack to pay the post when it arrives with him.

Please can my account be credited ASAP.

Thanks in advance.

David.

Him:


Dear Julian Cheese, Ok , We have contact Ben Jack, and he said you can do it that way, so we await the tracking reference number of the shippment. Regards Manager.

Me (I made the number up):


The tracking number is: Order #: 736-4245522-3247560

Him:


Dear Julian Cheese, We are hereby using this opportunity to tell you that if you have no transaction to do with us on amazon, pls you are advise to stop having transactions with us. How could you send us an invalid tracking reference number, and by the way what courier is this.? Regards Manager.

[Peerzy]

Just to let you know its become a common thing to sell stuff on ebay and recieve maybe 5-10 emails from Nigerian people wanting to buy using Bidpay or other methods. There are also a few other things to do with the Nigerian post office and such about 80% of sellers now won't mail anything to Nigeria. Just thought i would warn you.

Also that Manager from Amazon looks a bit fishy, using slang like pls and using a full stop and question mark at the same time.

If he's not giving you a good deal just hold out from selling it to this guy.

[Guillaume]

No need to keep wasting your (and our) time with this. Tell them to feck off.

And edit out your name again, FFS, Dave. Cos I don't want any other FSTer stalking you :wub:

[Snee]

Gurahl, most people who have been around this forum for a bit and might have the slightest interest have seen teh cheebus's name before.

Any damage that could be done by people having access to it has already been done, I think :unsure:

[manker]

:lol:

That's three times I've found out that his middle name is Julia.

[Guillaume]

Gurahl, most people who have been around this forum for a bit and might have the slightest interest have seen teh cheebus's name before.

Any damage that could be done by people having access to it has already been done, I think :unsure:

Back off, he's mine.



Argl. Gotta go back to the bloody job center. See y'all later.

[Peerzy]

For some reason when i google cheese's name i get:

http://www.lambiek.net/artists/lumsden_glenn/lumsden_devries.jpg

and

http://tmex.spun.com/amgcover/dvd/full/t3/20/t32007ht0tc.jpg

:huh:


For my name i get:

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/basketball/news/2003/01/31/james_sider_ap/t1_freelebron_ap.jpg

:nameaholic:

[MCHeshPants420]

No need to keep wasting your (and our) time with this. Tell them to feck off.

And edit out your name again, FFS, Dave. Cos I don't want any other FSTer stalking you :wub:

D'oh. :cry:

[DanB]

No need to keep wasting your (and our) time with this. Tell them to feck off.


If you don't like it don't read it :blink:

Its pretty darn obvious that Cheese is playing them along for a laugh, do you really think he's going to send his mp3 player to the guy? :unsure:

[Guillaume]

No need to keep wasting your (and our) time with this. Tell them to feck off.


If you don't like it don't read it :blink:

I'd rather post trollish comments to relieve the boredom of today thank you.



Its pretty darn obvious that Cheese is playing them along for a laugh, do you really think he's going to send his mp3 player to the guy? :unsure:

No? Really?

[DanB]

I'd rather post trollish comments to relieve the boredom of today thank you.

I found getting a job helped me when I got to that stage of forum posting ;)

[manker]

Actually, I have it on good authority (Spider_dude) that Cheese has already spent next year's student loan on mp3 players to take advantage of the burgeoning electronics market in Nigeria.

He's going to make a packet, apparently. He offered to cut me in on the sweet deal but I refused on the grounds that he refused to invest in my gypsy re-training project :snooty:

[manker]

I'd rather post trollish comments to relieve the boredom of today thank you.

I found getting a job helped me when I got to that stage of forum posting ;)Meow :P

[DanB]

I found getting a job helped me when I got to that stage of forum posting ;)Meow :P

Trolling is more fun when you aren't just playing on your own :naughty:

[manker]

Meow :P

Trolling is more fun when you aren't just playing on your own :naughty:Well, you've had enough practice at the solo stuff. It's about time you moved up :naughty:

[DanB]

Trolling is more fun when you aren't just playing on your own :naughty:Well, you've had enough practice at the solo stuff. It's about time you moved up :naughty:

You offering? :unsure:

[manker]

Well, you've had enough practice at the solo stuff. It's about time you moved up :naughty:

You offering? :unsure:Your groomage is complete, young grasshopper :lookaroun

[Cheese]

Yeah, let's all troll MCHeshpants420. He's a reet git anyhows. :dry:

[manker]

Yeah, let's all troll MCHeshpants420. He's a reet git anyhows. :dry:
He can wait his fecking turn - have you any idea how many people I'm supposed to be trolling before 9pm tonight :dry:

[MCHeshPants420]

Me:


That is the number on the receipt, it is not a tracking number. The
item has been sent by Royal Mail.

Him:


Dear Dave Cheese, Can you pls scan us the receipt of payment?. Regards Manager.

Me (the number is a gay chat line that spider_dude told me about):


I have no scanner. But you can phone Royal Mail and quote them the
number I provided.

Royal Mail's phone number is 0908 082 2392.

David.

Him:


Dear Dave Cheese, There in no way, you will have to look for a scanner, and scan us the reciept of shippment. Regards Manager.

Me:


Ok, will do. I will be in contact when I have scanned it.

David.

Just need to make a fake receipt now...

[MCHeshPants420]

Yeah, let's all troll MCHeshpants420. He's a reet git anyhows. :dry:

:rolleyes:

[manker]

That's not a gay chat number. I have that stored in my mobile phone under Spd.

From it I get calls from a pished Scottish bloke on the weekends ... also texts about gep every now and again :unsure:

[Cheese]

:rolleyes:

:dry:

And what's with the stupid name? Sealab was never funny.

[(>Zero Cool<)]

That's not a gay chat number. I have that stored in my mobile phone under Spd.

From it I get calls from a pished Scottish bloke on the weekends ... also texts about gep every now and again :unsure:

phone most numbers in Scotland on a saturday night and you will get that :rolleyes:

btw mr dave your surmname is also making it on to your notes in case it bothers you :unsure:

[Cheese]

btw mr dave your surmname is also making it on to your notes in case it bothers you :unsure:

He's a dumbass. I'm going to go and boil his bunny, stab him with a sword and make him into a skin suit.

[MCHeshPants420]

btw mr dave your surmname is also making it on to your notes in case it bothers you :unsure:

Cheers Zero, I keep making that mistake. :pinch:

Yours sincerely

David Lumsden.

[Guillaume]

I'd rather post trollish comments to relieve the boredom of today thank you.

I found getting a job helped me when I got to that stage of forum posting ;)


I know. That's why I've renounced doing a job I might like (or even enjoy) and chosen to simply get a job.

[DanB]

Good luck :D

I have got to the stage of working were I wish I was unemployed again :lol:

[(>Zero Cool<)]

Good luck :D

I have got to the stage of working were I wish I was unemployed again :lol:

I normally get that at about 9:05 :cry:


(well if I worked I would :unsure: )

[dgolso0]

I think it time to send a email saying that amazon has sent you (David) an email stating that the person that is trying to get you to send merchandice to him ....(too much typing)..... is a fraud and you should stop all communications with said person.

Cheers.

[GepperRankins]

write a letter saying thanks for the payment, the parcel will be there in the morning according to the DHL site...

fuck with his head :D