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Break my arms!
"Doc," said the young man lying down on the couch, "you've got to help me!
Every night I have the same horrible dream. I'm lying in bed when all of the sudden five women rush in and start tearing off my clothes."
The psychiatrist nodded, "And what do you do?"
"I push them away."
"I see. What do you want me to do?"
The patient implored, "Break my arms."
ahaha nice :)
Psychiatric Hotline
RING RING CLICK Recording - "Hello, Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline." If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2. If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5 and 6. If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line until we can trace the call. If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press. If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.
Very nice, good.
LOL the Psychiatric Hotline one is is awesome
hahaha you're right! That joke is excelentQuote:
Originally Posted by apextwin146
:lol:funny stuff boab:lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by bigboab
good ones :D
aahhahaha nice:D
haha
hahahahahh :lol: :lol:
A man who thought he was John the Baptist was disturbing the neighborhood, so for public safety, he was committed. He was put in a room with another crazy and immediately began his routine, "I am John The Baptist! Jesus Christ has sent me!"
The other guy looks at him and declares, "I did *not*!"
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A man walked into a psychiatrist's office, sat down, took out a pack of cigarettes. He removed a cigarette from the pack, unrolled it, and stuffed the tobacco up his nose. The shrink frowned and said, "I see you need my help!" The guy said, "Yeah Doc. Got a match!?"
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A guy is walking past a big wooden fence at the insane asylum and he hears all the residents inside chanting, "Thirteen! Thirteen! Thirteen! Quite curious about this, he finds a hole in the fence, and looks in. Someone inside pokes him in the eye. Then everyone inside the asylum starts chanting, "Fourteen! Fourteen! Fourteen!
LOOOL nice stuff:lol::lol::lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by apextwin146