After a young couple brought their new baby home, the wife suggested that her husband should try his hand at changing diapers. "I'm busy," he said. "I'll do the next one."
The next time came around and she asked again. The husband narrowed his eyes as he looked at his wife. "I didn't mean the next diaper. I meant the next baby."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Two Iraqi spies met in a busy restaurant after they had successfully slipped into the U.S.
The first spy starts speaking in Arabic.
The second spy shushes him quickly and whispers: "Don't blow our cover. You're in America now.
Speak Spanish."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A young Jewish man had just finished high school and wanted to go to college. He approached his father and said, "Dad, would you send me to college?"
"Son," he replied, "You don't even know what's what! When you know what's what, I'll send you to college."
His father then offered his son a job in the family business--a furniture store. The boy worked in his father's store for the next year. After the year was over he approached his father again.
"Dad," he said, "I've worked for you for a year. Now will you send me to college?"
His dad replied, "Son, you still don't know what's what! When you know what's what I'll send you to college."
The boy was dejected. He left and went to a bar to have a drink. At the bar he met an attractive young lady. They seemed to hit it off well. They both left and went to her apartment. After an hour of small talk, the young lady said she was going to go to her bedroom and slip into something more comfortable. When she returned she was totally naked, except for a tiny belt around her waist.
The boy looked at her in astonishment, pointed to the belt and asked, "What's that?"
The lady answered, "What's what?"
He said, "If I knew what's what I'd be in f**king college."
