http://media.putfile.com/Fuck-the-Pain-away-52
Is this possible without aids :/
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http://media.putfile.com/Fuck-the-Pain-away-52
Is this possible without aids :/
Wtf was that?:blink:
But then again I didn't listen to it.:P
Day 4
Only if I had someone to talk to.
I have no friends, i'm fucked.
I need a way out of this shit, i'm rock bottom, i cant see no way out this time
Day 4 of what?
Maybe seedler tried this :unsure:
What, making that face is the car approached?Quote:
Originally Posted by TheRealDave
I like this song - I've got this album too, it's Teaches of Peaches by Peaches.
Average-to-good looking blonde girl but she appears on the album cover with a beard.
I've never seen an album cover with a beard.Quote:
Originally Posted by manker
Have you ever grown a beard.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr JP Fugley
If not, that'll probably explain this phenomenon.
What phenomenon?Quote:
Originally Posted by manker
This has been day 4 of deep depression for me, I can't take the pills as they give me anxiety, i have no friends to talk to as i've been a loaner for so long.
my social skills are lost.
I just want my life back, or.... some sort of life.
you guys on the net are all i've got at the mo
Have you spoken to a Doctor, perhaps get referred to a psychologist. They may be able to provide some help without prescription drugs.
i've had help, but it's not done me any good.
I know it's the way i think about stuff, but how do you stop thinking the wrong things, it's impossible.
the trouble is my dreams are so real, well deep, when i wake up i face reality and it fucks me up so bad, it's the shock of coming out of my dream.
it's so real, it's now doing me in big time.
this time things are really bad
If it's getting that bad go and see the Doctor tomorrow, tell him / her exactly how you feel. It might be worth even getting sectioned and forcing them into giving yo the help you need.Quote:
Originally Posted by CELEBS
what help can anyone give?
i've had all they will give, my problem is, it's takes me to get to a stage of taking my life before i will talk about it, or open up.
how bad is this on a open forum.
i'm a good person, an honest person.
i'm just to weak to survive
If you've already sought help and choose to ignore the professional advice you were given, you're not going to get whatever help you need from us.
I think even you must realise this, Baz. If you've been prescribed pills, take them.
honest manker, the pills make me worse, they trigger of teriable anxiety, i've got bruzing on my legs where i grip them because of the anxiety.
i'm fucked.
if i had of gone out like normal people in the last few years i would have not ended up like this, i was made a prisoner in my home.
when i most needed help i did not recive it.
how fucked up is that.
if you saw a dog hit by a car, and the car drove off, did not stop.
would you help that dog?
I would have done.
my caring side would have helped that dog back to full health
You say that you're suicidal now, how much worse can they possibly make you.Quote:
Originally Posted by Celebs
You know I'm right. Take the medication that you've been prescribed.
Absolutely.Quote:
Originally Posted by manker
One of the side effects of not taking this type of medication is thinking that not taking it is a good idea. This is not interweb pish, I have had to deal with such a situation in real life.
If you have been prescribed it, then take it. Then get in touch with your Doctor tomorrow, as an emergency. If this is in your medical file then they will know that it really is an emergency and will give you an appointment.
Once you sit down with the Doctor you can take it from there. Talking to half-wits on the internet is not the solution.
From my BF, who has had problems for 7 years..triggered by a series of personal shit and serious illness......
"The dreams get less frequent as things improve. From personal experience, it is always the good dreams that fuck things up the most.
It is most difficult to deal with alone, so councelling really does help, even if it is from good friends who you probably don't appreciate yet. The medication is a bitch, but can be a necessary evil short term, but try and get off them as quickly as possible. What it seems to be is that the anxiety arrives when the pills start to wear off, or you get used to them and they don't help any more without increases in doses. Some pills side effects do give vivid dreams such as Beta Blockers (although they help take the edge of the anxiety when awake).
Another piece of advice from a long term pot head is, stay off the smoke when you feel depressed, it can make it worse in combination with some medication or even without any at all. You just need to adjust your intake to suit your mood.
Watch you don't start to feel that the depressed state is normal, I have realised that at some points, the depression was all I had that I felt was familiar and I could'nt feel anything when on the pills. I also admit that once off the pills, I could not allow myself to feel happy, almost like I should be depressed because that is who I was. Once this was pointed out, it was a step towards allowing other emotions in again.....slowly.
Don't take the walls down all at once, then you can become manic...mwha ha ha haa.....:lol: This is just as much of a problem as the depression as it is still not a normal state of being.
Good luck, this is a marathon, and not a sprint, and don't expect miracles over night."
Ian.
..It's in your hands...
> >John is the kind of guy you love to hate. He is always in a good mood and
> >always has something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he
was
> >doing, he would reply, "If I were any better, I would be twins!"
> >
> >He was a natural motivator.
> >
> >If an employee was having a bad day, John was there telling the employee
> >how to look on the positive side of the situation.
> >
> >Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up and asked
> >him, "I don't get it!
> >
> >You can't be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?"
> >
> >He replied, "Each morning I wake up and say to myself, you have two
choices
> >today. You can choose to be in a good mood or ... you can choose to be in
a
> >bad mood.
> >
> >I choose to be in a good mood."
> >
> >Each time something bad happens, I can choose to b e a victim or...I can
> >choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it.
> >
> >Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their
> >complaining or... I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the
> >positive side of life.
> >
> >"Yeah, right, it's not that easy," I protested.
> >
> >"Yes, it is," he said. "Life is all about choices. When you cut away all
> >the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to
> >situations. You choose how people affect your mood.
> >
> >You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom line: It's your
> >choice how you live your life."
> >
> >I reflected on what he said. Soon hereafter, I left the Tower Industry to
> >start my own business. We lost touch, but I often thought about him when
I
> >made a choice about life instead of reacting to it.
> >
> >Several years later, I heard that he was involved in a serious accident,
> >falling some 60 feet from a communications tower.
> >
> >After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, he was released
from
> >the hospital with rods placed in his back.
> >
> >I saw him about six months after the accident.
> >
> >When I asked him how he was, he replied, "If I were any better, I'd be
> >twins...Wanna see my scars ?"
> >
> >
> >I declined to see his wounds, but I did ask him what had gone through his
> >mind as the accident took place.
> >
> >"The first thing that went through my mind was the well-being of my
> >soon-to-be born daughter," he replied. "Then, as I lay on the ground, I
> >remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live or...I could
> >choose to die. I chose to live."
> >
> >"Weren't you scared? Did you lose consciousness?" I asked.
> >
> >He continued, "..the paramedics were great.
> >
> >They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me
into
> >the ER and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses,
I
> >got really scared. In their eyes, I read 'he's a dead man'. I knew I
needed
> >to take action."
> >
> >"What did you do?" I asked.
> >
> >"Well, there was a big burly nurse shouting questions at me," said John.
> >"She asked if I was allergic to anything. 'Yes, I replied.' The doctors
and
> >nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breath
> >and yelled, 'Gravity'."
> >
> >Over their laughter, I told them, "I am choosing to live. Operate on me
as
> >if I am alive, not dead."
> >He lived, thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his
> >amazing attitude... I learned from him that every day we have the choice
to
> >live fully.
> >
> >Attitude, after all, is everything.
I received this today...Gmail...I have only words to offer... hope it might help you Barry and anyone else for that matter..
Baz you do have friends, it's no good hiding inside waiting for them to come see you, you need to get out there.
Last week you were really positive, keep going, just grit your teeth and keep plugging away at life.
Don't dwell on your mistakes, learn from them and go see the bloody doctor.
A journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step.
Most people probably would, except maebach. :no:Quote:
Originally Posted by CELEBS
Yesterday was my end; I’ve never been that low, never.
I felt it building up over the last 4 days, I know in myself that when I get like that there's not a lot I can do, I try to keep my self occupied by going out or doing stuff around this house, but I keep going down big time.
I am a person who keeps the past locked up, but certain key factors trigger me to open that damn door and bad stuff runs in my head, I am one for helping myself, and trying to keep control of my feelings, at the moment I have no routine, this is not helping me at all, I’m still lost, but I guess in time I will have some sort of life, life with meaning.
I have difficulty in explaining myself, and especially in the form of text, I have in the past upset a few people by my posts, I did not mean this, it's the way I write things, sorry.
I do know right from wrong, I did get involved with some people that did not help matters for me at all, infact I started living a life that was totally not me, I was with the wrong people and thank god I stopped it and pulled out.
My drinking now has almost stopped, I was binge drinking very bad, when I got in the pub, I wanted to be on the same level of the other people in the pub, so I just downed drink like it was the last, but then I realised over the months, that the people in the pub where not pissed or on any level, it was just the feeling I had.
My last drink was Saturday night and I only had 4 pints.
In a way I have been looking for something that's not there, or I should say it's not my time yet, I know in time I will meet someone, but I’ve got to give up looking, it's time to ease off and try to get myself sorted out.
I can't allow myself to get that low again, I feel bad for posting my problems on the net but at the mo I’ve not got anyone to open up to, I can't bottle things up no more.
You know how close to death you are when you sit for hours thinking of how to die, slit wrists, knife to hart, if I was going to do it, I chose the knife to the hart, sorry to say this but that was how I was going to go.
Thank god last night I got out of this house.
Today I feel better, I’m no way as fucked up as I was, honest, that was my point of no return, I was so close, I was doing stuff thinking & knowing it was my last, I don't know at what point I was going to do it, but in my mind I was going to.
Last nights dream was not so bad, not so fucked up like the rest.
My dreams are a lot to do with this at the moment, it's very odd as my dreams are like so real, in my dreams I am living in the past when things were good, well I say good, but they were not good as I was being controlled, but it's all I had at the time, and life goes on.
I am weak, I’m shy, I do have a job to be myself when in the company of other people, but one thing about me is that I am a very honest person with strong morals, this may be one of my down falls, I don't know.
I am looking for something I’ve lost, but I think I’ve over cooked it by looking in all the wrong places.
I am now going to seek the right help, I’m still very unsure about the pills for depression as when I can't think I become confused, the anxiety becomes too much to handle.
I do take neulactil - pericyazine for the anxiety, it is very powerful, but I don't want to keep taking them, I just want to get better, taking the pills is no cure for anxiety.
When I’ve got anxiety I don't have depression, and vice versa, I am well fucked up and I’m like a yo yo.
I thank, Fugley, manker & Gripper
And especially TheWizeard, sara & Ian
without my family and my friends on FST I don't think I could have made it to today, I thank you sincerely for the help and advice you have gave me.
Love from Barry
Hope things will now get better for you, Baz. Bookmark your post and refer to it IF things get bad - it will give you some perspective.
Nicely written piece of prose, by the way.
What would Tom do?
I have been Wallowing In Self Pity, it's takes certain events for one to see what's going on, yesterday being so damn fucking low "lowest ever" to pull back thinking so positive for the first time in so, so, so long.
Fuck my past; it's done fuck all for me, now it's my time again.
I'm not going to slag anybody off from this day, as I'm now a strong believer in Karma... .
WTF have I been doing in the last 8 months? Fuck all.......... not good
No pubs, No drugs, No hanging around with thugs.
If I stay positive, Do positive things and stop thinking of a LOST LOVE that just was NOT even there in the first place, then I may have a decent nights sleep, which will make me feel better for the next day.
Time to wake up, time to take a deep breath and say fuck it.
Thank you all for being a part of my recovery from this damn shit.
If I keep an attitude like this then I'm sure I will make it 100%
I'm sorry for being FST's Biggest Mentalist, but at least I am being honest
And that just me...
Thank you!
Hoi, thats me's job.Quote:
Originally Posted by CELEBS
Good PMA Baz keep it up,do like manker said and bookmark this page or print out those last 2 posts you made and put them where you can see them.:)
Nice lyrics dude :smilie4:Quote:
Originally Posted by CELEBS