the g/f just sent me this, thought it was pretty funny :01: ...not sure where its from though :unsure:
THE MALES VERSION OF THE CHICK CODE
1. If you don't have anything good to say then don't say it, so basically shut up all the time.
2. Every meal must be promptly prepared to the desired specifications at a reasonable time
3. Take 1 Advil before bed to prevent headache
4. Clean the house, apartment, and/or dorm regularly
5. Sunday is considered a holy day. Church is not required but at least 6 hours of football is (fall only all other season require drinking in place of football)
6. Never ask "do I look fat"
7. Never ask "What are you thinking"
8. Feel free to comment on another girls ass
9. Do not comment on the attractiveness of another guy
10. Your man is allowed to cheat on you as long as an invitation for you to join in is offered.
11. All sleepovers must include a pillow fight in their panties
12. All sleepovers must be accompanied by high definition video documentation
13. After sex the proper reply is "that was the best I ever had would you like a sandwich"
14. Road head is required on any road trip over 30 minutes long
15. Never cry or get emotional during sex
16. Do not piss the bed after sex (it has happened)
17. Video taping sex is required at least once per relationship, upon termination of said relationship the tape becomes property of the man
18. You can not get mad at your man for not wanting to go to the mall with you
19. The guy has the right to one guy's night out per week
20. Three things must be done after dinner. Make desert, have sex, do the dishes! The choice of order is yours
21. Never point out flaws in guys. (We already know about them)
22. The way to a man's heart is not through his stomach it is through his zipper
23. Wearing sunglasses on the top of your head signifies "high maintenance bitch"
24. Likewise wearing combat boots and army fatigues signifies lesbian.
25. Feminists are bad
26. Tuesday is national topless day
27. Thongs must be worn all the time except on special occasions panties may not be worn
28. Oprah or any other crappy female show is not permitted to be watched.
29. If it's "that time of the month", even though you can't have sex at least please your man orally
30. Feel free to offer a threesome to your boyfriend at any time during the relationship
31. Don't fake an orgasm, we usually don't care as long as we get off.
32. If you don't know anything about sports, don't waste your time with questions- you wont understand the answer anyway
33. If your family has a secret recipe for the worlds greatest cinnamon bread it is your duty to provide your boyfriend and his friends with an adequate supply of it
34. If your boyfriend asks you to jump on the trampoline braless, you must oblige
35. Never make your tofu crappy health meals, steak and a potato is what we want
36. When your done going to the bathroom, put the toilet seat up for us!
37. When we ask if your day was alright, just say yes and get it over with because we won't pay attention if you told us your problems anyway
38. Shaving down below is required, or at least a very nice trim job
39. If it's a hot day, feel free to walk around topless to cool off
40. If were watching TV and not talking, don't ask if were mad at you, cause are response to the question is going to be yes, since you just interrupted are attention
41. If our beer looks like its almost out, get us another bottle without us asking you to
42. You cannot get mad at us for having porn movies, were just ….ummm…. learning how to please you better---yeah that's it!
43. Never ever use the line "Well Cosmo said you should be more…"
44. Please don't ask "Does my ass look big in this?"---the response can only lead to bad repercussions.
45. A strip tease must be performed for your boyfriend once a week.
46. Never ask "Where do you see this relationship going?"- if we didn't like you we wouldn't be with you(unless you give great chewies)
47. At least take it in the mouth
48. Never ask us to go to a chick flick.
49. If you ask us to have a threesome it better be with your hot girlfriend
50. If you go down on us, it does not require a reciprocate action
51. When we wake up in the morning we expect our coffee, eggs and bacon already cooked for us.
52. Masturbate often. Feel free to ask for assistance.
If any of these laws are violated, you may not wear make-up for a day, and you may not wear pink for a week.
