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Everyone wants to put their hands on my package
I have a package theft problem in my building. The UPS guys drop off the packages and run away, whether or not I'm home. They had stolen a cheesecake (gift to us), and recently a box with 3 bags of tobacco.
With the most recent shipment, I snatched it up as soon as it arrived, and removed the contents from the bottom. I supplanted the space with an empty mobile phone box, and where the phone should be I placed this note. I also ripped an EEPROM chip out of an old electronic board and concealed it within the packaging with electric tape.
Attachment 102943
My plan is to get some UV-activated theft detection powder, but wanted to do something sooner. Think this will be at all effective?
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Re: Everyone wants to put their hands on my package
Simpler solution would probably be to just move out of the ghetto.
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Re: Everyone wants to put their hands on my package
It really depends on whether your lightfingered cohabitants can read sanskrit or not, whether they will feel at all threatened by your missive. :blink:
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Re: Everyone wants to put their hands on my package
Y is yer tobacco in bags?
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Re: Everyone wants to put their hands on my package
Quote:
Originally Posted by
mjmacky
My plan is to get some UV-activated theft detection powder, but wanted to do something sooner. Think this will be at all effective?
Some wire, a 9v battery, a mercury switch, a shotgun shell with the pellets removed and a very vivid dye that does not come off easily would be a very effective theft detection powder. :naughty:
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Re: Everyone wants to put their hands on my package
You could simply request UPS hold your packages at its office, or be placed in a locked box which the delivery guy would have a key, or contact the main office and work out another acceptable delivery option.
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Re: Everyone wants to put their hands on my package
UPS is garbage. They lost my package holding about $200 worth of Beer. They offered to repurchase my package and ship it to me for free, except that it was Westvleteren 12, and the production run for the entire year was over. I'd have to wait an entire year to ship the same package.
They also refused to refund me, saying it went against their policy. Morons.
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Re: Everyone wants to put their hands on my package
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Darth Cicero
UPS is garbage. They lost my package holding about $200 worth of Beer. They offered to repurchase my package and ship it to me for free, except that it was Westvleteren 12, and the production run for the entire year was over. I'd have to wait an entire year to ship the same package.
They also refused to refund me, saying it went against their policy. Morons.
Way to slip in that you buy expensive, elitist beer. Douche. Still not nearly as cool as Macky's missing cheesecake. At least someone cared enough about him to buy him a nice gift. And UPS would have checked your ID before giving you the package anyway, and would not have been able to give it to you until an adult was present.
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Re: Everyone wants to put their hands on my package
i want to get so drunk .. coz i cant handle me right now
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Re: Everyone wants to put their hands on my package
I had already made an arrangement with UPS to require a signature. They stopped honoring it recently, to which I didn't really protest as it became quite a hassle to get my packages (sometimes would take 3-4 days after it has arrived). So that's my doorstep. I don't need to wire a shotgun, I'm not a gun person. I'm a follow-the-UV-powder-to-your-doorstep-and-chloroform-you-when-you-return-home kind of guy.
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Re: Everyone wants to put their hands on my package
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Originally Posted by
megabyteme
Way to slip in that you buy expensive, elitist beer. Douche.
Corona/Heineken/Popular Beers taste like cat piss. They have the right colour for it, too.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
mjmacky
I'm a follow-the-UV-powder-to-your-doorstep-and-chloroform-you-when-you-return-home kind of guy.
You're a boring hag in real life. If it were me, I'd ask for a neighbourly gathering. I'd show up to their apartment with a nice tobacco cake. Once they spit it out, I'd ask them why they were surprised with my visitor's gift so much.
Good confrontation leaves a memory for years.
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Re: Everyone wants to put their hands on my package
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Artemis
It really depends on whether your lightfingered cohabitants can read sanskrit or not, whether they will feel at all threatened by your missive. :blink:
It's not even joined up. There is a man with no confidence in his own legibility :no:
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Re: Everyone wants to put their hands on my package
I think it's clear what's going on here: Macky is actually in a sex offender's prison. The cake was confiscated because of the nail file inside it, and the tobacco was contraband. Time to stop the self delusion Macky x
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Re: Everyone wants to put their hands on my package
Quote:
Originally Posted by
mjmacky
[ATTACH=CONFIG]102943[ATTACH]
Now that Artemis pointed it out, and Squeamous pressed further - can you clarify to everyone what a "c2mer2s (WiFi b2sed)" is?
I mean, at least have the decency to use 4's. This just puts you right between confused and wannabe-1337.
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Re: Everyone wants to put their hands on my package
I've had a tendency to write my "a" in that manner ever since I learned Attican Greek. I felt it was a more natural way to write it, never feeling fully comfortable with the now standard written form. It confuses the hell out of my students who confuse it for a 2 (can be really confusing as calcium can be confused for 2 carbons). Anyways, I stand by it and Darth is now on the same level as my students. This is the slow process of killing him off.
The criticisms are all irrelevant now, since the point has been mooted at the fact that the fucking thieving bastard didn't thieve the package. It's still sitting in front of my door (untouched), and I'm leaving it there until somebody gets super annoyed by it. At that point I will probably continue to leave it there.
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Re: Everyone wants to put their hands on my package
Quote:
Originally Posted by
mjmacky
The criticisms are all irrelevant now.....
Yet not a thank you for my D.I.Y. theft detection powder/dye tip. :mad3:
N.B. if you used blue dye, you could make them look like members of the blueman group. :blink:
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Re: Everyone wants to put their hands on my package
Believe me, I've literally considered this plan. I just haven't fully looked into the legal liability since that would immediately be traced back to me. If I go with the cloak and dagger technique, I would get personal satisfaction and wouldn't have to worry as much about being found out.
Attachment 103033
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Re: Everyone wants to put their hands on my package
Quote:
The criticisms are all irrelevant now, since the point has been mooted at the fact that the fucking thieving bastard didn't thieve the package. It's still sitting in front of my door (untouched), and I'm leaving it there until somebody gets super annoyed by it. At that point I will probably continue to leave it there.
:lol:
Seems to me you're the only one getting annoyed. Whoever this prankster is gets my seal of approval. I couldn't piss you off this much if I tried :happy:
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Re: Everyone wants to put their hands on my package
Quote:
Originally Posted by
mjmacky
Believe me, I've literally considered this plan. I just haven't fully looked into the legal liability since that would immediately be traced back to me. If I go with the cloak and dagger technique, I would get personal satisfaction and wouldn't have to worry as much about being found out.
Attachment 103033
You could combine your frustration with your hobby and leave brightly wrapped packages in playgrounds. The overall effect would be of lots of smurfs running free.....
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Re: Everyone wants to put their hands on my package
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Originally Posted by
Squeamous
Seems to me you're the only one getting annoyed.
I am annoyed at myself. My 2 settings are pacifism and violent irrational rampage. I'm going to leave it out there until it's taken, even when I start getting letters from the Association saying I'm in violation of some bylaw or whatnot. The goal is to bring a lot of attention to the issue, as our unit can't be the only one being relieved of delivered items.
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Re: Everyone wants to put their hands on my package
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Originally Posted by
Artemis
You could combine your frustration with your hobby and leave brightly wrapped packages in playgrounds. The overall effect would be of lots of smurfs running free.....
There's a common misconception about pedophiles, that basically all are good for the pickings. I don't do ugly kids. I am not attracted to the smurf.
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Re: Everyone wants to put their hands on my package
Quote:
Originally Posted by
mjmacky
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Squeamous
Seems to me you're the only one getting annoyed.
I am annoyed at myself. My 2 settings are pacifism and violent irrational rampage. I'm going to leave it out there until it's taken, even when I start getting letters from the Association saying I'm in violation of some bylaw or whatnot. The goal is to bring a lot of attention to the issue, as our unit can't be the only one being relieved of delivered items.
You're a bit outmoded there aren't you? Even Mean Angel had four settings.
http://i.imgur.com/A7bov.jpg
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Re: Everyone wants to put their hands on my package
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Originally Posted by
bible
i think i am the minority
Nope, there are 1.17 billion Indians, it's just that most of them aren't fuckwits like you. :blink:
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Re: Everyone wants to put their hands on my package
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Re: Everyone wants to put their hands on my package
Quote:
Originally Posted by
mjmacky
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Squeamous
Seems to me you're the only one getting annoyed.
I am annoyed at myself. My 2 settings are pacifism and violent irrational rampage. I'm going to leave it out there until it's taken, even when I start getting letters from the Association saying I'm in violation of some bylaw or whatnot. The goal is to bring a lot of attention to the issue, as our unit can't be the only one being relieved of delivered items.
UPS packages are disappearing.
You've had poor service from your UPS delivery driver.
A package that was not delivered by UPS is still sitting, undisturbed at your doorstep.
I would consider the UPS driver as a VERY possible suspect.
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Re: Everyone wants to put their hands on my package
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Originally Posted by bible
just part of the problem .. not the solution ....
You could always end it all, just go outside and let a train run over your hands, you'll never be able to type again. Mind you wanking will be a bit of a problem, but I'm sure your family will help you out.
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Re: Everyone wants to put their hands on my package
Thanks, Art. I'll keep that in mind... :sadwalk:
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Re: Everyone wants to put their hands on my package
:glagpinch: t'was meant for yon J-Dufus clone.
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Re: Everyone wants to put their hands on my package
˙ǝɹǝɥʇ ǝʌoɯ noʎ ɟı ʎɹɹnɔ ɟo s,ʇoן pǝǝu ןן,noʎ
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Re: Everyone wants to put their hands on my package
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Originally Posted by
Artemis
:glagpinch: t'was meant for yon J-Dufus clone.
I feel better knowing you still care somewhat tolerate me. :lookaroun
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Re: Everyone wants to put their hands on my package
Quote:
Originally Posted by bible
i watch a lot of survivor series .. i can hunt down a few reindeers on my own .....
man women wild.. cody and the other guy .. that one wild guy ...
No reindeer in Antarctica, so you're shit out of luck there.
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Re: Everyone wants to put their hands on my package
Quote:
Originally Posted by
megabyteme
Quote:
Originally Posted by
mjmacky
I am annoyed at myself. My 2 settings are pacifism and violent irrational rampage. I'm going to leave it out there until it's taken, even when I start getting letters from the Association saying I'm in violation of some bylaw or whatnot. The goal is to bring a lot of attention to the issue, as our unit can't be the only one being relieved of delivered items.
UPS packages are disappearing.
You've had poor service from your UPS delivery driver.
A package that was not delivered by UPS is still sitting, undisturbed at your doorstep.
I would consider the UPS driver as a VERY possible suspect.
You mean they're all doing this? I've never seen the same UPS person twice, seems like they have a high turnover rate... perhaps because they keep stealing packages. I would suspect a piece of shit neighbor over them, nothing but a bunch of privileged cockmunchers live here.
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Re: Everyone wants to put their hands on my package
Quote:
Originally Posted by
mjmacky
You mean they're all doing this? I've never seen the same UPS person twice, seems like they have a high turnover rate... perhaps because they keep stealing packages. I would suspect a piece of shit neighbor over them, nothing but a bunch of privileged cockmunchers live here.
There are some relatively inexpensive, mountable (with protective bubble) wireless cameras. Just sounds like you've got a mix of assholes around you, and/or delivering to you. My service is pretty good, but I know what it is like to wait for packages. We get a lot of stuff delivered 2-day from Amazon, and it irritates me when they don't make the promised day.
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Re: Everyone wants to put their hands on my package
OK, time for update. The thieving bastard thieved the bait package. Now I'm waiting to see what their next move is.
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Re: Everyone wants to put their hands on my package
Quote:
Originally Posted by
mjmacky
OK, time for update. The thieving bastard thieved the bait package. Now I'm waiting to see what their next move is.
Since your bait package didn't offer a wealth of easily saleable goods, my guess is their next move it go thieving somewhere that has a higher return.
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Re: Everyone wants to put their hands on my package
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Artemis
Quote:
Originally Posted by
mjmacky
OK, time for update. The thieving bastard thieved the bait package. Now I'm waiting to see what their next move is.
Since your bait package didn't offer a wealth of easily saleable goods, my guess is their next move it go thieving somewhere that has a higher return.
Waiting to see if it shows back up at my doorstep out of general paranoia.
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Re: Everyone wants to put their hands on my package
I don't get this at all.
Can you track the package using the chip or what, like?
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Re: Everyone wants to put their hands on my package
Quote:
Originally Posted by
manker
I don't get this at all.
Can you track the package using the chip or what, like?
It wasn't an RFID chip ffs, he was just relying on tech mumbo jumbo to baffle yon package purloiners and hopefully scare the shit out of them.
Mind you the image of macky wandering around the neighborhood with a scanner muttering to himself as he hunts for said thieves (if it had been an RFID chip) is quite a funny one. :naughty:
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Re: Everyone wants to put their hands on my package
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Artemis
Quote:
Originally Posted by
manker
I don't get this at all.
Can you track the package using the chip or what, like?
It wasn't an RFID chip ffs, he was just relying on tech mumbo jumbo to baffle yon package purloiners and hopefully scare the shit out of them.
Mind you the image of macky wandering around the neighborhood with a scanner muttering to himself as he hunts for said thieves (if it had been an RFID chip) is quite a funny one. :naughty:
I'm pretty sure that Death Wish started something like that.
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Re: Everyone wants to put their hands on my package
:dabs:
I thought I must be missing something. I can't vicariously enjoy the thought of the thieves worrying about their actions when the worry will inexorably dissipate into nothingness due to Mary's impotence.