airline food

Tower: "Eastern 702, cleared for takeoff, contact departure on 124.7."
Eastern 702: "Tower, Eastern 702 switching to departure ... by the way, after we lifted off, we saw some kind of dead animal on the far end of the runway."

Tower: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff. Contact departure on 124.7; did you copy the report from Eastern?"

Continental 635: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff, roger; and yes, we copied Eastern. We've already notified our caterers."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized. "Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."
"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup.

"No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug out.

Do you want a room with or without a view?"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The country doctor was just returning from a delivery at an outlying cattle ranch, when he crossed paths with the town's gossip.
"Doctor Wilson, how is the Smith baby?"

"Well, the child was born without a penis," the doctor said...

"Oh, oh my goodness!" said the gossip...and with a smile on her face, she turned to head into town to spread the news. Before she could take off to spread the news, the doctor quickly grabbed her arm, bent his head over and whispered in her ear, "But she'll have a damn nice place to put one in 20 years!"