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hitler is talking to these people in germany and he's like "ph34r, i r 1337"
and they are all like, "omgz k". so, hitler rises to power in germany. the
british and french are like "wtf" so they talk to him in munich and they're
like "d00d wtf r u doing" and so he says "sorry" and chaimberlain goes, "peace,
d00d". then hitler goes back to his generals and says, "pwned" and plans even
more diabolical sh1t. on September 1st, 1939 Hitler invades poland the poles
are like "omg wtf" and the germans are like "ph34r". the poles are like
"wtf no..bs" and then the germans pwn them all and poland falls to the germans.
next the germans march through belgium to go around the maginot line cause
the french thought they were 1337 with that maginot line, but they were just
n00bs. anyhow with hitler marching through neutral belgium, the british are
like "omg wtf" eventually, hitler gets through belgium and attacks france,
bypassing the maginot line the french are like "omg h4x" and the germans are,
again, like "ph34r" france falls.
now, there are about 300,000 british and french soldiers on the beaches of
dunkirk going, "we're stuck...lag" and the germans are coming, they're all like
"omgz pwn" and winston churchill says "n00bs, no" then all the british begin
h4xing, most of those 300,000 men are rescued and pwn another day
things are quiet until hitler decides he'd like to invade russia so, he does.
the russians are like "OMG WTF D00DZ, STOP TKING" and the germans are still like "omg ph34r n00bz" the russians fall back, all the way to moscow and then they all begin h4xing, which brings on the russian winter. the germans are like "wtf, h4x". now, the russians are like "omgz pwned" and so, the russians begin pushing the germans out of the soviet union
now, japanese relations with the US have been deteriorating, but in fact, the
japanese still buy some scrap metal off the us up until a few days before pearl
harbor. the US was just like "omgz k" and the japs were like "k thx" but
suddenly, on december 7th, the japanese attack pearl harbor, hawaii.
the americans are like "WTF" and the japanese, like their german allies, are all
"omgz ph34r" seeing as the US had not developed proper h4x yet, they were unable to repel the onslaught. roosevelt orders immediate h4xing, and war is declared upon the empire of japan. the japanese are very 1337. they really know how to h4x0rz so the us suffers a string of defeats until an obscure island known as midway becomes a very pivotal point on the map. the japanese send out a 1337 battle fleet to take and occupy midway, but the americans, now becoming fluent in their h4xing abilities, manage to h4x the japanese code and learn of the plot so they send out some h4xing vessels...er..i mean aircraft carriers, destroyers, and one or two submarines to deal with the japanese threat.
the japanese begin their attack on midway, but soon they're like "WTF are these
planez0rz and shipz0rz doing here?" the americans are now like "omgz pwn". they
now have their pwn h4x , and sunkz0rz four front line japanese aircraft carriers,
a major defeat for the japanese. from this point on, the japanese are playing a
defensive battle for the rest of the war.
now, back to europe. the year is now 1944 the US 8th air force has been pwning
the german industry by the air for some time now. the british have been pwning
them at night. eisenhower the 1337 feels that it is time to stage the attack on
fortress europe and thus, on june 6, 1944, operation overlord commences. the
germans were like "wtf r they doing here", because the us had h4xed them into
believing the landing sites would be at calais, far from the actual landing zones.
still, they put up a very 1337 fight. rommel had wanted to use his 1337 panzer divisions to drive the allies into the sea but hitler is like "Wtf n00b, no, stfu."
because of this, the allies are able to establish a beachhead and begin landing
massive amounts of war materiel. after the beaches, facing the allies are many
large bushes called bocage crisscrossing the french countryside. the germans camp in them, waiting to pwn anyone who dares to go through. this poses a severe problem for the allies. some ingenious engineers, however, devise a contraption that, when fitted to the hull of a tank, could cut through the dense bocage. when the germans first encounter vehicles with these contraptions, they're like "omgz wtf, h4x0rz" the americans are like "omgz pwned" though the fight is still tough, and many allied tanks and men are lost. but the germans won't be lasting much longer.
with 1337 allied air cover now completely pwning the skies, they can
now concentrate on close air support. the germans now get to experience this on
the receiving end. needless to say, they're all going "omg wtf". with the
russians having pushed the germans completely out of their homeland, the end is
near for the third reich. soon the allies reach the rhine river. the germans,
still crafty as ever, blow up all the bridges across except one then some 1337
allies in some jeepz0rz run across it and the germans are like "OMGZ H4X". the
allies enter germany itself. much fighting ensues, and eventually they reach
berlin after much pwnage being dealt from both sides. the russians, vengeful as
ever, are allowed to enter berlin first where they proceed to pwn everything, no
matter what in hell it is. hitler comes to his senses and goes "wtf..." he and
his mistress get stuck in an underground bunker deep underneath berlin and type
"kill." the war in europe is over.
meanwhile in the pacific.....
with the americans having dealt a major blow to the japanese at midway, they
press their luck further. they begin pwning islands. island after island falls.
iwo jima falls, okinawa falls. not wanting to risk the insanely high casualty
rate of an invasion of japan, the president decides to drop two atomic bombs.
the japanese go "omg H4X" The americans say, "gg", and world war two is over.
everyone goes home and gets laid.
:ninja: