Some advice...

So, Mr Mouse has a wee girl from a previous relationship. This is fine. He hasn't seen her in two years for reasons that were out of our control.

this Christmas we didn't send the usual boatload of presents, just for the simple reason of we're in the middle of buying our own house and didn't see the point in sending loadsa stuff when we couldn't be sure they weren't just getting thrown in the bin.

But his ex phoned. And they are on talking terms again which is brilliant.

However I'm pretty pissed as so far the ex has told him loadsa stuff which i think is a load of bull and keeps asking him to phone and just talks mince to him.

I could put up with this...but I'm convinced that the texts from his daughter aren't actually from her (stuff like the ex texting saying "i won the lottery last year but don't tell the kid" then a text from the wee yin saying "what were you and mum talking about daddy?"
and he hasn't been allowed to talk to her yet.

Should we demand access? Should we see how this pans out first?

What age is the wean.

Almost 6, JP.

I don't think a 6 year old would text that.

Fucking awful position to be in, if she just made contact out of the blue but hasn't actually let him see the wean yet then it sounds awfully like control and manipulation to me.

The whole text thing really needs to be taken with a great big pinch of salt as well. The wean is not allowed to talk to him, but is given his mobile number and allowed to text. He / she uses this opportunity to ask what Mummy and Daddy were talking about. That sounds very strange.

Do you know if the mother is in a relationship.

"He hasn't seen her in two years for reasons that were out of our control."

This must be hell.
Does he have any legal rights to see here, once a month etc?

A friend is in similar hell hole, but atleast with you guys, you are starting to get on speaking (sms) terms. i would suggest keeping the convorsations as warm and cozy as possible. As it will ease the possibility of seeing the child.

She had a relationship after Mr Mouse which resulted in another lovely wee girl and is now apparently married to a another man, the one who won the lottery.

It's her mummy's phone she's using. Her spelling and grammar are remarkably similar to her mother's and not what you'd expect from a 5 year old and most seem set out to trap him, such as "mummy says i can't have a mobile can you tell her daddy that i can have one?"

No legal rights as they weren't married, and she made sure she accused him of something that would hinder any attempts to get custody. However, we got social workers involved who say that he is a fit and able father and the allegations were completely untrue. He just lost confidence after that though and didn't want to fight for access incase she tried something else.

could be used in court later....

You should be very careful with anything in writing. He shouldn't say or indeed type anything which can be used against him. I would suggest that any contact is only with the mother just now and that involving social work is really the best way to go. Not necessarily using them as intermediaries or anything, just letting them know what's happening, asking for their advice. Keeping contact with the Mother as friendly and personable as possible just now.

I would certainly be very circumspect regarding the motivation here, particularly given the background. However best case scenario is that the wee yin wants it's Dad in it's life and is making that an issue with the Mum. Worst case scenario is that she's a mental and is telling him a lot of pish and forging texts from a 6 year old.

Mr Mouse's parents are basically the mediators here. They are going to see the child while we're on holiday to pave the way for Mr Mouse to be able to see her.

We've kept all texts, just in case. And I'm reading all the ones getting sent out. Pretty pish when you've got to do that, but needs must.