the cannibals

An explorer in the deepest Amazon suddenly finds himself surrounded by a blood thirsty group of cannibals. Upon surveying the situation, he says quietly to himself, "Oh God, I'm doomed!"
There is a ray of light from the sky above and a voice booms out: "No my son, you are NOT doomed. Pick up that stone at your feet and bash in the head of the chief standing in front of you."

So the explorer picks up the stone and attacks the chief, feverishly bashing at his head with all his strength. He stands above the lifeless body, breathing heavily and surrounded by 100 cannibals with a look of shock on their faces.

The voice booms out again: "Okay . . . . NOW you're doomed."

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Charlie was playing with his little brother Mickey when the little boy asked whether he could fly like Superman. "Sure you can, Mickey," Charlie said, "Just flap your arms really *really* hard."
So Mickey climbed up on the windowsill, started flapping like mad, jumped, then smashed into the ground six stories below.

Horrified, their mother came screaming into the room and said, "What the hell happened?!?"

Charlie said, "I was just teaching Mickey not to believe everything someone tells him."