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Re: Last one to post wins the internets
Disgruntled bantard. Probably.
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Re: Last one to post wins the internets
Poor attempt at industrial espionage. Something a fat secret-agent might come up with. :sly:
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Re: Last one to post wins the internets
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Re: Last one to post wins the internets
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Something Else
Poor attempt at industrial espionage. Something a fat secret-agent might come up with. :sly:
Yeah. What the feck have you done with JP, ben.
I've been hearing things about you. Secret things :smilie4:
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Re: Last one to post wins the internets
Benjamin swallowed JP in an intrinsically self-consuming abstract act of rhetoric.
Since then JP has refused point blank to make a re-emergence, based on the disapproval of his existence in the foirst place.
Kids today.
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Re: Last one to post wins the internets
Then it's worse than I thought.
I had assumed, being of a more literal mind, that ben had quadriplegicised JP with his shiny bandsaw and placed him lovingly into a box made from a recently felled cedar.
If this is all JP's doing, then I fear for the future. The Scotch are notoriously stubborn wrt abstract acts of rhetoric.
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Re: Last one to post wins the internets
Quote:
Originally Posted by
manker
Then it's worse than I thought.
I had assumed, being of a more literal mind, that ben had quadriplegicised JP with his shiny bandsaw and placed him lovingly into a box made from a recently felled cedar.
If this is all JP's doing, then I fear for the future. The Scotch are notoriously stubborn wrt abstract acts of rhetoric.
And in other news just in, mate, he plans to strengthen the onslaught with unnecessary and extravagant guitars.
I feel so sorry for Dave. There's nothing worse than being beat to death with a red guitar, three chords and the truth.
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Re: Last one to post wins the internets
That's weird. I just listened to a song called Do You Wrong from an album called Three Chords and the Truth.
obtw, i put those bewks onto kind les but I enjoyed the one about robots so much, I started reading another book about robots :pinch:
I'm nervous about it, to tell the truth. One of two things happen when I read a new author, I'll either hate it or I'll like it and then have to read absolutely everything he's ever written.
And he's written poetry :cry:
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Re: Last one to post wins the internets
Quote:
Originally Posted by
manker
That's weird. I just listened to a song called Do You Wrong from an album called Three Chords and the Truth.
obtw, i put those bewks onto kind les but I enjoyed the one about robots so much, I started reading another book about robots :pinch:
I'm nervous about it, to tell the truth. One of two things happen when I read a new author, I'll either hate it or I'll like it and then have to read absolutely everything he's ever written.
And he's written poetry :cry:
It's not real poetry, though. It's poetry for people like you. And I haven't raped you with any of his poetry so you can call the poetry rape police off right fucking now.
I'd be disappointed if you couldn't rattle through a simplistic autobiographical anti-poetic piece in your sleep, like.
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Re: Last one to post wins the internets
Quote:
Originally Posted by
chavis
Quote:
Originally Posted by
manker
That's weird. I just listened to a song called Do You Wrong from an album called Three Chords and the Truth.
obtw, i put those bewks onto kind les but I enjoyed the one about robots so much, I started reading another book about robots :pinch:
I'm nervous about it, to tell the truth. One of two things happen when I read a new author, I'll either hate it or I'll like it and then have to read absolutely everything he's ever written.
And he's written poetry :cry:
It's not real poetry, though. It's poetry for people like you. And I haven't raped you with any of his poetry so you can call the poetry rape police off right fucking now.
Better not, mate. Fuck serial killers - I'd spring R. Kelly to come over and pish on your duvet.
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Re: Last one to post wins the internets
Quote:
Originally Posted by
manker
Quote:
Originally Posted by
chavis
It's not real poetry, though. It's poetry for people like you. And I haven't raped you with any of his poetry so you can call the poetry rape police off right fucking now.
Better not, mate. Fuck serial killers - I'd spring R. Kelly to come over and pish on your duvet.
See, that's poetry. Except for the fact that it includes a black person. That's where the paths diverge.
Once it includes a black person, it's the blues.
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Re: Last one to post wins the internets
Quote:
Originally Posted by
chavis
Quote:
Originally Posted by
manker
Better not, mate. Fuck serial killers - I'd spring R. Kelly to come over and pish on your duvet.
See, that's poetry. Except for the fact that it includes a black person. That's where the paths diverge.
Once it includes a black person, it's the blues.
:happy:
Dave will never understand that posts like the two quoted here are the reason for my *cough* wanting to fit in.
You guise rock! :wub:
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Re: Last one to post wins the internets
:lol: why have you made me think about poetry. wtf aren't there any black poets!
I remember JP saying a few times that rap is poetry but I think he just meant that he didn't like rap.
Can't be sure but, it isn't my field.
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Re: Last one to post wins the internets
Quote:
Originally Posted by
megabyteme
Quote:
Originally Posted by
chavis
See, that's poetry. Except for the fact that it includes a black person. That's where the paths diverge.
Once it includes a black person, it's the blues.
:happy:
Dave will never understand that posts like the two quoted here are the reason for my *cough* wanting to fit in.
You guise rock! :wub:
n'awwwhhh :wub:
it's okay, you can hang around with us. you can be the one in the gang that the old lady in the corner shop thinks is beyond reproach but is actually the chief shoplifter of porn and campari.
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Re: Last one to post wins the internets
Quote:
Originally Posted by
manker
n'awwwhhh :wub:
it's okay, you can hang around with us. you can be the one in the gang that the old lady in the corner shop thinks is beyond reproach but is actually the chief shoplifter of porn and campari.
I'll just use my sexual prowess (and my delectable body, if necessary) to flirt with that old lady so we get the drinks and porn for free. :01:
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Re: Last one to post wins the internets
Quote:
Originally Posted by
megabyteme
Quote:
Originally Posted by
manker
n'awwwhhh :wub:
it's okay, you can hang around with us. you can be the one in the gang that the old lady in the corner shop thinks is beyond reproach but is actually the chief shoplifter of porn and campari.
I'll just use my sexual prowess (and my delectable body, if necessary) to flirt with that old lady so we get the drinks and porn for free. :01:
you crazy americans and your weird not-free shoplifting ways :blink:
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Re: Last one to post wins the internets
Quote:
Originally Posted by chavois
Can you just state for us hard of idiot types ...
:glag: :glag:
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Re: Last one to post wins the internets
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Re: Last one to post wins the internets
So I asked my son how school was today when I picked him up from the bus. He told me proudly that he had 'sacktapped' someone. I looked blankly back, not actually having heard of this before, but then I made the grave mistake of asking him what a sacktap was. He proudly informed me that a sacktap is when you flick someone in the balls with the back of your hand ergo a sack tap :yikes:
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Re: Last one to post wins the internets
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Artemis
So I asked my son how school was today when I picked him up from the bus. He told me proudly that he had 'sacktapped' someone. I looked blankly back, not actually having heard of this before, but then I made the grave mistake of asking him what a sacktap was. He proudly informed me that a sacktap is when you flick someone in the balls with the back of your hand ergo a sack tap :yikes:
And these kids just let each other's hands get slap happy on their happy sack? If I'm correct about my younger self, the reply would have been a sackpunt; the definition of which can be educed from the compound's roots.
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Re: Last one to post wins the internets
Quote:
Originally Posted by
mjmacky
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Artemis
So I asked my son how school was today when I picked him up from the bus. He told me proudly that he had 'sacktapped' someone. I looked blankly back, not actually having heard of this before, but then I made the grave mistake of asking him what a sacktap was. He proudly informed me that a sacktap is when you flick someone in the balls with the back of your hand ergo a sack tap :yikes:
And these kids just let each other's hands get slap happy on their happy sack? If I'm correct about my younger self, the reply would have been a sackpunt; the definition of which can be educed from the compound's roots.
Actually the sacktap (what a lovely compound word) was a response to the other guy calling my son :ghey: and trying to give him a dead arm, apparently the sacktap was decent enough a response for him to stop what he was doing and fuck off while making a high pitched noise....
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Re: Last one to post wins the internets
Homosacksuality is becoming more socially acceptable. Maybe you should have a talk with your son, Art. Don't forget to love him either way... :P
EDIT- you beat my post by a full minute. :(
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Re: Last one to post wins the internets
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Artemis
So I asked my son how school was today when I picked him up from the bus. He told me proudly that he had 'sacktapped' someone. I looked blankly back, not actually having heard of this before, but then I made the grave mistake of asking him what a sacktap was. He proudly informed me that a sacktap is when you flick someone in the balls with the back of your hand ergo a sack tap :yikes:
:lol: :blink:
Yeah see. Now you've made me think of the logistics involved in this sack-tapping. I remember having it explained to me by a rugby player. He said that you have to fully extend your arm and face the back of your hand to the target's groin, you then surreptitiously swing your arm toward the target and at the last possible moment, snap your wrist upwards and shape your hand so that your index and small finger are splayed at approximately 45 degrees such that the nails of your middle and ring finger
make contact with one or both bawls at maximum velocity and at the optimum angle.
It's better if you can do this when the sack-tapped individual is naked, apparementement. So the blow isn't cushioned.
In anticipation of Mary's presents in this thread, I feel honour bound to ask whether this was locker room jocularity or non-naked playground japes :mellow:
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Re: Last one to post wins the internets
Quote:
Originally Posted by
manker
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Artemis
So I asked my son how school was today when I picked him up from the bus. He told me proudly that he had 'sacktapped' someone. I looked blankly back, not actually having heard of this before, but then I made the grave mistake of asking him what a sacktap was. He proudly informed me that a sacktap is when you flick someone in the balls with the back of your hand ergo a sack tap :yikes:
:lol: :blink:
Yeah see. Now you've made me think of the logistics involved in this sack-tapping. I remember having it explained to me by a rugby player. He said that you have to fully extend your arm and face the back of your hand to the target's groin, you then surreptitiously swing your arm toward the target and at the last possible moment, snap your wrist upwards and shape your hand so that your index and small finger are splayed at approximately 45 degrees such that the nails of your middle and ring finger
make contact with one or both bawls at maximum velocity and at the optimum angle.
It's better if you can do this when the sack-tapped individual is naked, apparementement. So the blow isn't cushioned.
In anticipation of Mary's presents in this thread, I feel honour bound to ask whether this was locker room jocularity or non-naked playground japes :mellow:
Yes my son did go into the dynamics of a sacktap and the fact that it is a highspeed flick of the testes with the back of your hand thus having the nails of your fingers connect at maximum velocity. It sounds truly agonising tbh :blink:
In response to the second part of your question it was non naked playground japes, but apparently still effective enough to leave the victim other party making an oddly high pitched noise.
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Re: Last one to post wins the internets
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Artemis
Quote:
Originally Posted by
manker
:lol: :blink:
Yeah see. Now you've made me think of the logistics involved in this sack-tapping. I remember having it explained to me by a rugby player. He said that you have to fully extend your arm and face the back of your hand to the target's groin, you then surreptitiously swing your arm toward the target and at the last possible moment, snap your wrist upwards and shape your hand so that your index and small finger are splayed at approximately 45 degrees such that the nails of your middle and ring finger
make contact with one or both bawls at maximum velocity and at the optimum angle.
It's better if you can do this when the sack-tapped individual is naked, apparementement. So the blow isn't cushioned.
In anticipation of Mary's presents in this thread, I feel honour bound to ask whether this was locker room jocularity or non-naked playground japes :mellow:
Yes my son did go into the dynamics of a sacktap and the fact that it is a highspeed flick of the testes with the back of your hand thus having the nails of your fingers connect at maximum velocity. It sounds truly agonising tbh :blink:
In response to the second part of your question it was non naked playground japes, but apparently still effective enough to leave the
victim other party making an oddly high pitched noise.
Heartening news :happy:
It appears my pre-empting of Mary was particularly tardy. Who would have thunk he would have been attracted in such haste to a post regarding teenage testicles.
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Re: Last one to post wins the internets
Quote:
Originally Posted by
manker
In anticipation of Mary's presents in this thread, I feel honour bound to ask whether this was locker room jocularity or non-naked playground japes :mellow:
I was already gifted, you seemed to have missed it.
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Re: Last one to post wins the internets
Quote:
Originally Posted by
mjmacky
Quote:
Originally Posted by
manker
In anticipation of Mary's presents in this thread, I feel honour bound to ask whether this was locker room jocularity or non-naked playground japes :mellow:
I was already gifted, you seemed to have missed it.
Indeed, see my last.
We appear to be at cross porpoises this fine day.
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Re: Last one to post wins the internets
Quote:
Originally Posted by
manker
It appears my pre-empting of Mary was particularly tardy. Who would have thunk he would have been attracted in such haste to a post regarding teenage testicles.
His proclivities seem quite varied and random, basically if it has a pulse he's good to go.
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Re: Last one to post wins the internets
Quote:
Originally Posted by
manker
Quote:
Originally Posted by
mjmacky
I was already gifted, you seemed to have missed it.
Indeed, see my last.
We appear to be at cross porpoises this fine day.
I open the tabs up long before I read and reply, the fastest being several minutes. We should share a bottle over the intent to mind our noses.
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Re: Last one to post wins the internets
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Artemis
Quote:
Originally Posted by
manker
It appears my pre-empting of Mary was particularly tardy. Who would have thunk he would have been attracted in such haste to a post regarding teenage testicles.
His proclivities seem quite varied and random, basically if it has a pulse he's good to go.
Ironic, I read this after making quite the opposite of a proclamation in another thread. Unfortunately, that one was the real me.
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Re: Last one to post wins the internets
Quote:
Originally Posted by
mjmacky
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Artemis
His proclivities seem quite varied and random, basically if it has a pulse he's good to go.
Ironic, I read this after making quite the opposite of a proclamation in another thread. Unfortunately, that one was the real me.
I just discovered said post and was also struck by the irony..... I'm at a loss over your conumdrum however, the only suggestion I can make is it is probably an android you are after rather than the catchall term robot, otherwise you might end up with a large toaster with tracks on the underside.
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Re: Last one to post wins the internets
Do Real Dolls count as robots?
Some of them move their arms and stuff.
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Re: Last one to post wins the internets
Ah. Wrong thread but w.e.
It's all just an interlinked menagerie of pish.
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Re: Last one to post wins the internets
Quote:
Originally Posted by
manker
Do Real Dolls count as robots?
Some of them move their arms and stuff.
you know the world will be reduced to Apple and Google offerings. Personally, I would do really degrading things to the iFuck that I wouldn't do to a more respectable G-Droid.
Ah, the future is cumming...
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Re: Last one to post wins the internets
Quote:
Originally Posted by
manker
Do Real Dolls count as robots?
Some of them move their arms and stuff.
Realdolls don't count. I want one to be able to sit down with my robot (android) and unintentionally have her destroy me at chess, so that I can leap over the board and fuck her until her wires are crossed.
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Re: Last one to post wins the internets
Quote:
Originally Posted by
megabyteme
Quote:
Originally Posted by
manker
Do Real Dolls count as robots?
Some of them move their arms and stuff.
you know the world will be reduced to Apple and Google offerings. Personally, I would do really degrading things to the iFuck that I wouldn't do to a more respectable G-Droid.
Ah, the future is cumming...
Well you know how it is with Apple, it'll probably be the iWaitUntilMarriage
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Re: Last one to post wins the internets
Quote:
Originally Posted by
mjmacky
Well you know how it is with Apple, it'll probably be the iWaitUntilMarriage
Yeah, the iBitch will take control of your checking account and not let you go out with any of your friends who don't also have an iBitch. The Apple will be easy, but will only do missionary. Anal will be rumored to be available on a future model, but blowjobs will be deemed an unneeded feature.
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Re: Last one to post wins the internets
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Re: Last one to post wins the internets
Quote:
Originally Posted by
ziggyjuarez
I win!
Only if the prize is being a professional blood donor for life...
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Re: Last one to post wins the internets
Quote:
Originally Posted by
megabyteme
Yeah, the iBitch will take control of your checking account and not let you go out with any of your friends who don't also have an iBitch. The Apple will be easy, but will only do missionary. Anal will be rumored to be available on a future model, but blowjobs will be deemed an unneeded feature.
It also won't do gay sex :noes: