Question....how to....

**Jon L. Obscene** · 09-01-2005, 07:41 PM

........Write a letter of resignation.

wtf do you put in one of them?

never really thought about it before.

Anyone?

Jonno

**DarthInsinuate** · 09-01-2005, 07:45 PM

**enoughfakefiles** · 09-01-2005, 07:58 PM

This was a good resignation letter.

Dear Mr. Baker,

As an employee of an institution of higher education, I have a few very basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct superiors have an intellect that ranges above the common ground squirrel. After your consistent and annoying harassment of my co-workers and myself during the commission of our duties, I can only surmise that you are one of the few true genetic wastes of our time.

Asking me, a network administrator, to explain every little nuance of everything I do each time you happen to stroll into my office is not only a waste of time, but also a waste of precious oxygen. I was hired because I know how to network computer systems, and you were apparently hired to provide amusement to myself and other

employees, who watch you vainly attempt to understand the concept of "cut and paste" for the hundredth time. You will never understand computers. Something as

incredibly simple as binary still gives you too many options. You will also never understand why people hate you, but I am going to try and explain it to you, even though I am sure this will be just as effective as telling you what an IP is. Your shiny new iMac has more personality than you ever will.

You walk around the building all day, shiftlessly looking for fault in others. You have a sharp dressed useless look about you that may have worked for your interview, but now that you actually have responsibility, you pawn it off on overworked staff, hoping their talent will cover for your glaring ineptitude. In a world of managerial

evolution, you are the blue-green algae that everyone else eats and laughs at. Managers like you are a sad proof of the Dilbert principle.

Seeing as this situation is unlikely to change without you getting a full frontal lobotomy reversal, I am forced to tender my resignation, however I have a few parting thoughts.

1. When someone calls you in reference to employment, it is illegal for you to give me a bad recommendation. The most you can say to hurt me is "I prefer not to comment." I will have friends randomly call you over the next couple of years to keep you honest, because I know you would be unable to do it on your own.

2. I have all the passwords to every account on the system, and I know every password you have used for the last five years. If you decide to get cute, I am going to publish your "favourites list", which I conveniently saved when you made me "back up" your useless files. I do believe that terms like "Lolita" are not usually viewed favourably by the administration.

3. When you borrowed the digital camera to "take pictures of your Mother's

birthday", you neglected to mention that you were going to take pictures

of yourself in the mirror nude. Then you forgot to erase them like the

techno-moron you really are. Suffice it to say I have never seen such odd

acts with a sauce bottle, but I assure you that those have been copied

and kept in safe places pending the authoring of a glowing letter of

recommendation. (Try to use a spell check please, I hate having to correct your mistakes.)

Thank you for your time, and I expect the letter of recommendation on my

desk by 8:00 am tomorrow. One word of this to anybody, and all of your

little twisted repugnant obsessions will be open to the public. Never

f*** with your systems administrator.

Why?

Because they know what you do with all that free time!

Wishing you a grand and glorious day,

Cecelia

**Alien5** · 09-01-2005, 07:58 PM

the office
19 quality street
coventry
northshire cv55 7xw

September 1, 2005

Dear mr boss:

As required by my contract of employment, I hereby give you four weeks' notice of my intention to leave my position as clerk.

I'm now only 1 day away from the birth of my new baby and although I understand that I could return to work after my maternity leave, I have decided against this.

This was not an easy decision and took a lot of consideration. However, please be assured that I will do all I can to assist in the smooth transfer of my responsibilities before leaving.

I wish both you and the office every good fortune and I would like to thank you for having me as part of your team.

Yours sincerely,

alien5

**Gripper** · 09-01-2005, 08:00 PM

Dear Sir or Madman,
I woulld like to give you (1 week,month)notice of termination of my employment with this company,as I'm sick and tired of being your fucking whipping boy,doing your job,taking your shit,I have covered for you on numerous occasions,without any word of thanks,you self centered,egotistical bastard,
your sincerely

**Santa** · 09-01-2005, 08:15 PM

Dear Boss,
Ever since i walked into your office, my love for you has been ever growing to the extent
that office reports get stuck together.
I will love you forever,
Joblo

**Jon L. Obscene** · 09-01-2005, 08:46 PM

How about.....

Letter of resignation.

01/09/2005

Employer

I wish to cease my employment at ********.
The reasons for this being a steady decline in the establishments popularity and general employee and customer moral.
Since the change of Owner many changes have been made, the staff have put in a great deal of effort in helping with these changes. Unfortunately we have been constantly bombarded with problems with suppliers, builders not turning up, jobs unfinished, lack of information regarding subjects such as credit/debit acceptance etc. The new till system is appalling, old technology and very unstable, I have tried to help here with my knowledge of computing yet I make a change which fixes a problem and someone changes it back.Prices are constantly going up which is not sitting well with customers, even price marked items are being programmed in the tills above the actual price mark. This makes the staff look foolish when someone picks up an item which states £1.50 clearly printed on the label and the till says £1.60.
Also the working conditions are unbelievable, we were without a kettle for approx. 3-4 weeks and have now been without a proper sink to wash hands or make drink for over a month. The heat in the shop since lowering the ceiling and adding a large chiller/fridge has been horrendous, thankfully the summer hasn't been too bad, temperatures of 35C are not suitable indoor working conditions. Air conditioning was promised in July, it's still not fitted. There is also a feeling of non trust with staff as well as customers.The electric's, especially around the till area are not safe, a wall mounted double power point not wall mounted , just hanging loose. The double sockets under the counter connecting the till system are over loaded and have now several times disconnected when knocked by an object and power has been lost to the tills, this could cause a short and therefore very dangerous.
I personally have spent many hours out of work time and made many phone calls to help with the conversion, this responsibility was handed to me, I accepted having some knowledge of the industry, I done this of free will and as a favour to the shop and staff and yourself, yet never so much as received a thank you. 2 words.
Today's events (01/09/2005) were just the icing on a very sour cake and made my final decision.

As a job I really did enjoy I'm quite upset in having to write this but I feel I can no longer work under such declining conditions.

I thank you for your employment.

Employee.

Jonno

**tesco** · 09-01-2005, 08:49 PM

Originally Posted by 100%

Dear Boss,
Ever since i walked into your office, my love for you has been ever growing to the extent
that office reports get stuck together.
I will love you forever,
Joblo

**Gripper** · 09-01-2005, 10:06 PM

Originally Posted by Jon L. Obscene

How about.....

Letter of resignation.

01/09/2005

Employer

I wish to cease my employment at ********.
The reasons for this being a steady decline in the establishments popularity and general employee and customer moral.
Since the change of Owner many changes have been made, the staff have put in a great deal of effort in helping with these changes. Unfortunately we have been constantly bombarded with problems with suppliers, builders not turning up, jobs unfinished, lack of information regarding subjects such as credit/debit acceptance etc. The new till system is appalling, old technology and very unstable, I have tried to help here with my knowledge of computing yet I make a change which fixes a problem and someone changes it back.Prices are constantly going up which is not sitting well with customers, even price marked items are being programmed in the tills above the actual price mark. This makes the staff look foolish when someone picks up an item which states £1.50 clearly printed on the label and the till says £1.60.
Also the working conditions are unbelievable, we were without a kettle for approx. 3-4 weeks and have now been without a proper sink to wash hands or make drink for over a month. The heat in the shop since lowering the ceiling and adding a large chiller/fridge has been horrendous, thankfully the summer hasn't been too bad, temperatures of 35C are not suitable indoor working conditions. Air conditioning was promised in July, it's still not fitted. There is also a feeling of non trust with staff as well as customers.The electric's, especially around the till area are not safe, a wall mounted double power point not wall mounted , just hanging loose. The double sockets under the counter connecting the till system are over loaded and have now several times disconnected when knocked by an object and power has been lost to the tills, this could cause a short and therefore very dangerous.
I personally have spent many hours out of work time and made many phone calls to help with the conversion, this responsibility was handed to me, I accepted having some knowledge of the industry, I done this of free will and as a favour to the shop and staff and yourself, yet never so much as received a thank you. 2 words.
Today's events (01/09/2005) were just the icing on a very sour cake and made my final decision.

As a job I really did enjoy I'm quite upset in having to write this but I feel I can no longer work under such declining conditions.

I thank you for your employment.

Employee.

Jonno

Noice