Top Ten Reasons Why Canada Will Not Join the USA in the War on Iraq
10. We have no way of getting there.
9. We're too busy at home with the maple syrup season.
8. Iraqis don't drink Labatt's beer.
7. Saddam's name pronounced backwards is "Mad Ass". We'll stay away from him.
6. There is only limited potential for sales of Canadian bacon in Iraq after the war.
5. Our Sea King helicopter was damaged and needs repairs.
4. Celine Dion can't sing to the troops because she has a contract in Las Vegas.
3. The rivers in Iraq are too shallow for our war canoes.
2. Our army is needed at home in case of another snow storm in Toronto.
And the Number 1 Reason Why Canada Will Not Join the USA in the War on Iraq
1. HELLO! HOCKEY PLAYOFFS ARE STARTING!