Obnoxious Parrot on an Airplane
A man gets to his seat on the plane, and is surprised to find a parrot strapped into the seat next to him. Once in the air, the stewardess comes round,
and the man asks her for a coffee, whereupon the parrot squawks: "And get me a whisky you cow!"
The stewardess, somewhat flustered, brings back a whisky for the parrot, but forgets the coffee. When the man points this out to her, the parrot immediately drains its glass and yells "And get me another whisky you bitch!"
Quite upset, the stewardess, shaking returns shortly with a whisky for the parrot, but still no coffee. Unaccustomed to such slackness, the man decides to try the parrot's approach: "I've asked you twice for a coffee, cow, go and get it or I'll give you a slap!"
In a couple of seconds, two burly stewards grab both him and the parrot, take them to the emergency exits and throw them out. As they are ejected from the plane, the parrot turns to the man and says "You know, for someone who can't fly, you're a lippy bastard!!".