Chat wit god

**jetje** · 09-21-2005, 11:22 AM

If you feel lonely and really have no one to chat with....

talk to iGOD

**Barbarossa** · 09-21-2005, 11:32 AM

Hmmm...

Me:
Hi God
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
Lucifer
God:
It's good to meet you, Lucifer.
Me:
You didn't say that when you cast me out of paradise, you fucker
God:
OK. " that when you cast me out of paradise you fucker".
Me:
What?
God:
Didn't you understand it?
Me:
No! It was garbage!
God:
Which part are you confused about? How did you feel about that?
Me:
I feel fine now that I know God is a retard!
God:
What is that feeling like? Glad to hear it, Lucifer. Why now? How do you know? I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was a retard.
Me:
... and a schizo
God:
What is giant sand?
Me:
That lumpy thing on the end of giant sarms?
God:
" What is giant sand? " lumpy thing on the end of giant sarms ? I understand.
Me:
Like HELL you do!
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
No shit, sherlock!
God:
Are you serious? You used a colloquial expression. Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding.
Me:
It's a computer. No-one can type that fast. God is a computer. great.
God:
So you think I am a machine. What characteristics made you think so? That is a rather sweeping generalization about people. I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was a computer. I'm glad you liked it Lucifer.
Me:
Goodbye, metalmind.
God:
Adios.

**DarthInsinuate** · 09-21-2005, 11:36 AM

Me: yo, G
God: I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me: sorry, blesphemy is teh roxc00rz
God: There is no need to apologize. I think blesphemy is a lot of things.
Me: your puncuation needs work, you used a comma and a full stop :shock:
God: Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am puncuation needs work me used a comma and a full stop shock.
Me: are you trying to rod me? that would be harsh, i can barely compete with Jonno's roddage
God: No I am not trying to rod you. I'm sorry you got that impression. Makes sense to me.
Me: okay i'm bored, you're boring, can you send a meteor, poste haste?
God: Yeah okay, Maybe you could exercise.
Me: i'm not going to run
God: Where will you go instead?
Me: there's no where to go, it's a frickin' meteor
God: Has there ever been where to go it is a frickin meteor?
Me: you're worse than Internet.news
God: Thanks for telling me that I am worse than Intrnet news.

**GepperRankins** · 09-21-2005, 11:43 AM

omfg. i owned god

Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
The Dave
God:
Tell me more.
Me:
i said teh not the, i'm sure of iot
God:
What did you mean by it? How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
t*
God:
Let us change the subject.
Me:
t*
God:
Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Me:
what would you worry about?
God:
It's not profitable to speak in hypothetical terms.
Me:
what do you worry about?
God:
Worry is a human emotion.
Me:
and you're a human creation

he hasn't replied

**Barbarossa** · 09-21-2005, 11:55 AM

I love this!

Me:
Hi God
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
Barbarossa
God:
What's up, Barbarossa.
Me:
Don't you know? I thought you were God.
God:
Sure I know. But I cannot tell you right now. Are you doubting me? Don't you know what happened to Abraham in the desert?
Me:
Did he get sand up his arse?
God:
Suppose he did.
Me:
Oh.
God:
Pardon me?
Me:
You're excused.

Me:
Hi God
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
God
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
I know!
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
I am God
God:
I am always glad to make new friends, god.
Me:
I'm not your friend, you are an imposter.
God:
I am glad to hear that you are not my friend I am an imposter.
Me:
I'm glad we got that straight
God:Yes I am happy too, god.
Me:
You'd better change your name then. How about "Bob"
God:
Who else would better change my name ? How about it.
Me:
I think it suits you
God:
"It" being what?
Me:
Your new name, Bob.
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
Good.
God:
Next question?
Me:
Why did you make it so we piss out of the same organ we fuck with?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
But why? Design-wise, it's a shambles!
God:
" Myself programmed me for it."? Why? Aren't all shambles Design wise it?
Me:
I think you're done.
God:
You think I am done.
Me:
Goodbye, Bob.
God:
Who are you talking about?
Me:
Goodbye.
God:
Goodbye.

pwned!

**Skiz** · 09-21-2005, 11:57 AM

Me:
hello
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
polly poo pants
God:
Hi there polly poo pants.
Me:
i pooped in my pants
God:
Thanks for the information: polly said pooped in his or her pants.
Me:
will you clean me?
God:
I'll burn that bridge when I come to it. "it" being pooped in your pants?
Me:
i'm siiting my own feces. i think we're there
God:
Do you mean your name is siiting your own feces. Do you think I am there too?
Me:
wtf?
God:
That was not very polite.
Me:
i'm confused
God:
What is it that confuses you?
Me:
you
God:
" What is it that confuses you?"? Me, polly ?
Me:
yep
God:
Ugh.
Me:
yep x2
God:
I see. Do you still pooped in your pants?
Me:
yep
God:
Alright then.
Me:
cool c ya
God:
I'm glad you like it. Tell your friends.

**DarthInsinuate** · 09-21-2005, 12:01 PM

lol, god owned you

**sArA** · 09-21-2005, 12:08 PM

its all bollox....

**GepperRankins** · 09-21-2005, 12:08 PM

Me:
my dinner's ready

God:
Do robots have dinner s ready?

Me:
no. robots don't eat

God:
Are you serious? Do you know any robots who eat? I eat wine and bread.

Me:
listen dick, i was trying to be subtle in saying i don't want to talk to you

God:
I am listening to you. When was this exactly?

Me:
NOW! YOU'RE FUCKING ANNOYING, and i think you should leave

God:
Right now, GepperRankins ? I will tell my botmaster you said I am ANNOYING and you think me should leave.

Me:
yeah, and?

God:
Great. But...

Me:
smart arse

God:
Thanks I think you are very intelligent too, GepperRankins.

this thing knows how to wind people up