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Thread: Things To Ponder

  1. #1
    Leech_Killer's Avatar Poster
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    # If practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, why practice?

    # What cruel person put an "s" in "Lisp?

    # If a tin whistle is made out of tin (and it is), then what, exactly, is a fog horn made out of?

    # If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?

    # Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?

    # Why do we wait until a pig is dead to "cure" it?

    # Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

    # Did Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?

    # What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

    # What WAS the best thing before sliced bread?

    # If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

    # Since the British throw rice at weddings, do Orientals throw hamburgers?

    # Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?

    # Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?

    # Does the reverse side also have a reverse side?

    # Why is the alphabet in that order?

    # What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way.

    # Do fish get cramps after eating?

    # How come abbreviated is such a long word?

    # Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosyllabic"?

    # Why is there only one Monopolies commission?

    # Why do scientists call it "re"search when looking for something new?

    # Tell a man that there are 400 Billion stars and he'll believe you, Tell him a bench has wet paint and he still has to touch it!

    # Why is lemon juice mostly artificial ingredients BUT dish washing liquid contains real lemons?

    # How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't grow in it?

    # Why buy a product that takes 2000 flushes to get rid of?

    # Why do we put suits in a garment bag and garments in a suitcase?

    # What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?

    # If, instead of talking to your plants, you yelled at them, would they still grow, only be troubled and insecure?

    # When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away?

    # Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food? (Sorry WeeMouse)

    # What should you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

    # Why do they report power outages on TV?

    # Is it possible to be totally partial?

    # After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water?

    # How can there be self-help "groups"?

    # If someone has a mid-life crisis while playing hide and seek, does he automatically lose because he can't find himself?

    # When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're sitting there, staring at carpeting?

    # Why, in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?

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  3. Funny S**t   -   #2
    BROCKSTER's Avatar Poster
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    pondering

  4. Funny S**t   -   #3
    zacspeed's Avatar Pheasant plucker
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    B)

    What happens when an un-stoppable force meets an imovable object?

    How does the guy who drives the snow-plough get to work in a morning?

    WE NEED ANSWERS!!!!!

  5. Funny S**t   -   #4
    WeeMouse's Avatar Small and Squeaky
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    [QUOTEWhy isn't there mouse-flavored cat food[/QUOTE]



    :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(

    You are a sick sick sick person!!!!

    But if you give me cheese i will forgive you!

  6. Funny S**t   -   #5
    Leech_Killer's Avatar Poster
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    Sorry, here you are then, though it looks like you've already been at it.


  7. Funny S**t   -   #6
    WeeMouse's Avatar Small and Squeaky
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    Glasgow, Scotland
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    CHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZ


    Thank you


    Mouse worships the Killer of Leeches

    I still want a drooling smillie


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