the pearly gates

[baccyman]

A teacher, a petty thief and a lawyer all died and
went to the Pearly Gates.

Because of crowding, St. Peter told them they had
to pass a test before ascending any further.

Adressing The teacher, he asked, "What was the
name of the famous ship that hit an iceburg and
sank?"

"The Titanic," she answered and St. Peter motioned
her into heaven.

The thief was next. "How many people died on that
ship?" St. Peter asked.

"Gee, that's tough," the man replied. "But luckily
I just saw the movie. The answer is 1500."
St. Peter let him through.

Then St. Peter turned to the lawyer.
"Name them."
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What do you call a blonde that can suck a golf
ball through a garden hose?

'Darling.'
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A blonde gets on an airplane and sits down in the
first class section. The stewardess tells her she
must move to coach because she doesn't have a
first class ticket. The blonde replies, 'I'm
blonde, I'm smart and I have a good job and I'm
staying in first class until we reach Jamaica.'

The stewardess gets the head stewardess who asks
the woman to leave and she says 'I'm blonde, I'm
smart, I have a good job and I'm staying in first
class until we reach Jamaica.'

The stewardesses don't know what to do because
they have to get the rest of the passengers
seated to take off, so they get the co-pilot.
The co-pilot goes up to the blonde and whispers
in her ear. She immediately gets up and goes to
her seat in the coach section. The head
stewardess asks the co-pilot what he said to get
her to move. The co-pilot replies, 'I told her
the front half of the airplane wasn't going to
Jamaica'.

[shrek1]

nice