Hello good members of FST and a happy new year to you all!
I would like to celebrate the new year, and my first post, by exploring some of the lesser known victories in the Global War on Terror (GWOT). I have chosen this site as I have been informed that it is a veritable hotbed of pinko commie liberalism and my fellow conservatives require reinforcements.
The wait is over, the cavalry has arrived!
I strongly believe that we Americans do not appreciate the dedication and achievements of our allies in the GWOT. So it is with this sentiment in mind that I bring to your attention the monumental progress made by our friends the Uzbeks. Unlike the lily livered liberals we are forced to endure at home, the Uzbeks really know how to get the job done. Listen and learn terrorists, when the Uzbeks say you're in hot water they mean it!
One boiled terrorist coming right up!
Boiled Terrorist (gory 18+)
This is why we should ignore the doom and gloom merchants of the fifth column, also known as the Mass Media. We are winning this war and God is on our side!
The corresponding cloud to this silver lining is that we can't get this job done in the USA.
Now.. back in the day, when men were men, and sheep were scared, this kind of thing would have been handled by the National Guard, the liberals, ever eager to take the fun out of things have put a stop to it. So three cheers for outsourcing!!!
We boil them there so we don't have to boil them here!
The mother of the man who was boiled for our freedom has been making trouble, but don't be concerned, she has been silenced!
Take note President Bush, there is a solution to the Cindy Sheehan problem!
Now, getting back to our glorious homeland, I want to show all you wishy washy liberals something special. The men I am about to show you have made this country what it is today, if theres a draft, they'll be first in line to defend your freedom while you sip on a Starbucks latte and talk about Oscar Wilde. Now don't get any funny ideas liberals, you may mock their less than athletic figures but your careless words on this forum could lead to real life serious injury to your skinny white pinko commie bodies, don't say I didn't warn you!
Now, the moment you've all been waiting for... behold! I present to you the troops of the 101st Chairborne!
*sniff* Its enough to make a grown man cry, and reconsider his objections to eugenics, but I digress..
Bow down to your betters liberals! Observe their unbridled masculinity! Recognise their superior moral fibre and tremble in the face of true God fearing Middle Americans! If the brown hordes arrive at the gates it'll be salt of the Earth folks such as these who will save the day! If ever there was proof of Intelligent Design.. this is it!
Now, before you book smart libs get all high and mighty about my grammar, I should tell you now that I was home schooled. Don't start getting all uppity about it commies, I can hit a brown person with a rock up to a range of 30 yards, 40 if they're chained to a stick. A darn site more useful then a few well placed commas!
Watch this space for more updates on the GWOT, but until then.... this is Jesus' General signing off.