Things people say that annoy the feck out of you...

[Virtualbody1234]

...People talking to me when at the urinals annoys the piss out of me...

The piss out of you at the urinals? Perfect place for that. You should thank them.

[Barbarossa]

"How's the baby, is she sleeping through the night yet?"


This is in fact the most annoying thing is ever said to me. I am inclined to rip the throat out of the next person who says this to me today...

[Cheese]

My girlfriend was reading the thread and sent me these ():

"Have you cut your hair?"

No. It retracted back into my skull you twonk.

"Is your hair naturally curly?"

No, I wanted to look like Crystal Tips.

The worst though is simply "is your hair natural?"

No you fuckweed, its synthetic. I get it all the time and it really pisses me off.

[Guillaume]

Trance/Hard House...
Anyone into it on this board?

[clocker]

Customer walks into computer shop...."Hi, I'm computer illiterate".

Please Jebus, just kill me now.

[Busyman]

When your bank phones you then asks you to confirm who you are for security reasons. Yeah, I can see the reasons but it is still annoying to have someone phone you and then ask you to prove who you are.

Same is true for wrong numbers.

Someone phones up and says, "Is Bob there",
and I go, "There's no Bob's here, you must have the wrong number",
and they go "O Rly? Who's this then?",
and I go "None of your business, fucktard, learn how to use the phone, now get the fuck off the line!".

Telemarketing mortgage/home improvement/bill consolidator people......

Telemarketer - "Hello may I speak to Bob Wilford?"

Me - "You have the wrong number."

Telemarketer - "Well may I speak with the current homeowner?"

No MOTHERFUCKER!!

Now I fuck with them and act like an immigrant that can't understand what they're saying.

Mortgage specialist - "Hello may I speak with Alex Benjo?"

Me - "Yes ha yes (in a smiley voice)"

MS - "Yes Alex I'm calling from 1st FuckYouOver Mortgage and would to show you how you can decrease your monthly mortgage payment by half. Does that sound good to you?"

Me - "Yes ha yes"

MS - "If you don't mind my asking what is your current mortgage at?"

Me - "Yes ha yes"

MS - "Sir, what is your current mortgage, sir....?"

Me - "Uh Ok yes (still smiling)"

MS - "No sir I was asking your current mortgage."

Me - "Uh...ok yes."

MS - "Is your wife available?"

Me - "Yes ha yes"

MS - "May I speak with her, sir?"

Me - "Yes ha yes"

MS - ".......Sir, whaaaat isssss yoooouuurr moorrttggaagge attt cuurrreeennttlly? I oonnlly wwaanntt tthhhee innnffooorrrmmaattiiiooon ttoo ssavve yyouu BIGGG mmmonneyy"

Me - "Money.....yes ha yes, money"

MS - "Yeeeaahhh, that's right, monnnney. So.....how much is your mortgage?"

Me - "Yes ha yes"

Believe or not. I'm the one that has to hang up. My gf is fucking laughing her ass off falling on the floor with tears coming out of eyes.

I get these calls everyday on an identaring line. I'll be changing my number as soon as the new Yellow Pages gets listed.

Either way it's a nice predinnertime laugh.

[Cheese]

For telemarketers just say:

"Stop fucking around Bob, have you got the bodybag and chainsaw yet?"

[Busyman]

For telemarketers just say:

"Stop fucking around Bob, have you got the bodybag and chainsaw yet?"

Well If I have time I just fuck with them.

I'll give all this bogus information and then they drive out to that location to give a presentation and the people's houses they go to don't wtf the "mortgage specialist" is talking about.

On the flip, I always find out what they're selling first. I got my very first charge card (American Express) and also my lowest rate credit card (5.9% fixed) through telemarketers.

[DorisInsinuate]

"Asian chicks are hawt."

"I'd hit that."

"She's hawt."

and so on so forth.

[clocker]

Cashier at Best Buy during pre-Christmas rush...."Did you find what you were looking for?"
No dipshit, I enjoy standing in lines.

Paying for gas during sub-zero snowstorm..."Would you like a carwash today?"