I burnt myself on some hot marinara sauce bubbling on my stove.
I first administered CPR to myself for about an hour.
I then transfused myself with 5 pints of blood or was it KC Masterpiece Bar-B-Que Sauce. Whatever it was, it was in the cupboard.
I am planning to intubate myself shortly.
Am I taking all this too lightly.
My thumb does sting quite a bit.