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Thread: Questions about Canada

  1. #1
    Virtualbody1234's Avatar Forum Star BT Rep: +2
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Now that Vancouver is to host the 2010 Winter Olympics these are some questions people the world over are asking! Believe it or not these questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Website.

    Obviously the answers are jokes, and the questions are hilarious; but sadly the questions were really asked. Ohhhhhhhh, Canada !!!

    Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK)
    A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.

    Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
    A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.

    Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto-can I follow the Railroad tracks? (Sweden)
    A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water.

    Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)
    A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.

    Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed Beaver. (Italy)
    A: Let's not touch this one.

    Q: Are there any ATM's(cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (UK)
    A: What did your last slave die of?

    Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA)
    A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-na-da is that big country to your North...oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.

    Q: Which direction is North in Canada?(USA)
    A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

    Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (UK)
    A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

    Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
    A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

    Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)
    A: No, WE don't stink.

    Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you sell it in Canada?(USA)
    A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

    Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
    A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

    Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)
    A: Only at Thanksgiving.

    Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
    A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegans. Milk is illegal.

    Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA)
    A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

    Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
    A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.

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  3. Funny S**t   -   #2
    MagicNakor's Avatar On the Peripheral
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    One of the radio stations cited the website they got that list was something like (but that's not it precisely...I forget what it was. )

    things are quiet until hitler decides he'd like to invade russia
    so, he does
    the russians are like "OMG WTF D00DZ, STOP TKING"
    and the germans are still like "omg ph34r n00bz"
    the russians fall back, all the way to moscow
    and then they all begin h4xing, which brings on the russian winter
    the germans are like "wtf, h4x"
    -- WW2 for the l33t

  4. Funny S**t   -   #3
    DanB's Avatar Smoke weed everyday
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    London, so fuck y'all
    thats just a rehash of a very old joke

  5. Funny S**t   -   #4
    maebach's Avatar Team FST Captain
    Join Date
    May 2005
    burlington, Ontario
    Most of the questions were pretty good


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