Hi there...this is me... Mom said I got all the good looks and no
brains. I have a stomach ulcer.
This is my mom. She has lots of boyfriends. One of them has a job.
She says with a little luck I could be a garbage man one day.
This is my brother Hank. He is in jail right now. When he gets out
he is not allowed to be around animals and kitchen appliances.
My grandmom lives with us in our trailer. Shes smells real bad. She
likes to hang out in bars and drink beer.
My mom says she is almost positive this is my dad. He lives in a
Federal Penitentiary in Montana. When he gets out in 55 years we are going
My younger sister Jill lost all her teeth. She was licking a egg
beater after mom made a cake and my cousin Jimmy turned it on by accident.
We are proud of my older brother Barney. He is 27. He wants to be a
Doctor and can write his own name.
This is my older sister Sue Ellen. She has 15 kids and they all look
different. She has a disease that makes her itch.
Jethro is my 1st cousin. He runs a tomato stand down by the highway.
He once went 53 days without taking a bath.
This is Buck. He is my second cousin. He is pretty smart. Buck is
going to be a dentist some day. He does all the work on our teeth.
This is my sister's boyfriend for right now. His name is Paul. He
is running for Mayor in the city. Except for Sue Ellen's 15 kids, he hates all
other kids... and old people, too. Our neighbor Mrs. Dot is taking him to
court for spitting on her baby.
This is Leroy. He used to be my best friend but got killed by a bus
on the interstate. I still wear his underwear.
Jake holds the park record. He once jumped over 7 trailers. Jake
crashed a lot and talks real slow now. His doctor told him to wear a helmet