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Thread: Is this sport, or what.

  1. #1
    Mr JP Fugley's Avatar Frog Shoulder BT Rep: +4
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    The FA
    25 Soho Square
    London W1 4FA

    Dear Sir,

    Our Head Coach, Mr Sven-G♂ran- Ericsson, has asked me, on the eve of
    our departure to Germany for the World Cup Finals, for which we have
    qualified, to ask our fellow Home Nations to come to our assistance so
    that England may be 100% sure of winning the World Cup.

    As you are no doubt aware from the winning of the Rugby World Cup
    and the Ashes, Englandís success boosts all British nations and we know
    how you all enjoyed basking in the reflected glory which bonds our
    ancient nations together.

    To this end, we request and require that you furnish, forthwith, any
    information, which may aid us on our quest. We donít expect to need it,
    you understand, but one never knows.

    What we have in mind is tactical appraisals of our opponents, whom you
    may have encountered whilst failing to qualify yourselves. Foreign styles
    of play, underhand methods of influencing the referee, latin diving,
    teutonic bullying, you know the sort of thing. Also, if there is any advice
    of the legality of two apparently separate islands in the Carribean forming
    a joint enterprise for the express purpose of winning a soccer match. In
    the capital here we find it quite extraordinary!

    I know well you all take delight in the support of England whenever any
    of you manage a shock result and am sure of the same fullsome support
    from you chaps in this instance.

    You remain, hopefully, our humble servants

    Brian Barwick

    The Football Association of Wales
    11 / 12 Neptune Court,
    Vanguard Way,
    Cardiff CF24 5PJ

    Dear Mr Barwick,

    Thank you for your interesting and brilliant letter. As you know we are
    your nearest neighbours, and sharing a long border with you, know you
    more intimately and therefore love you more intimately than anybody
    else. How we enjoyed your Rugby victory! Bonfires were lit in remote
    areas all over rural Wales in celebration.

    As you no doubt donít know, all correspondence from Lloedr is translaed
    from Saes to Cymraeg in accordance with the Rules of our Association. I
    had your brave letter translated and passed it to Dafydd ab
    Sylwtlyhatesinglish hew is hedd of our tactical spying unit.

    I am sori to haf to tell ewe that there was a coch up in the translation
    which meant that Dafydd, completely by accident, got the whole thing
    arseways and provided all your opponents with a dossier on your players
    instead. In particular, I have to warn you that your manager may be
    targeted by dusky beauties who may give him the bends while he goes
    diving as it were. Also watch out for Paraguayan grannies in the vacinity
    of your only hope.

    As ever, if there is anything else we can do for you, do not hesitate to ask.

    Twll dÓn pob Sais
    Mervyn Miseri

    FA Ireland
    80 Merrion Square
    Dublin 2

    Ah Brian howís it going

    All the lads here wish ye the very best in the World Cup. Sure donít ye
    know that?

    We always want England to do well. There has been too much old guff
    about history and bad blood and we should forget about all that. We have

    I mean, nowadays who is interested in Pope Adrian (the only English
    Pope) blessing the English invasion which took all our lands and divided
    it up amongst the English? Who wants to know about Cromwell putting
    the women and children of Drogheda and Wexford to the sword; the
    Penal Laws that outlawed the one true Catholic faith and the outlawing of
    the beloved Gaelic language. The crushing of the brave rebels in 1118,
    1250, 1336, 1388 1542, 1612. 1798, 1848, 1916. Sure we have forgotten
    all about the Famine, where one million of us were starved to death, skin
    and bone with grass stain about our hungry mouths with pestilence rapine
    and disease stalking every corner of the land whilst our young men fought
    in the front lines of the trenches of your imperial wars.

    Having forgotten all that, and the unfinished business in a corner of our
    land, we would of course be delighted to support England, and we will.
    However, you must be aware of our longstanding emigrant links with
    seamus insert name of whoever the bastrds are playing and so
    therefore, on this one occasion, our loyalties may be somewhat divided.
    As a favour Brian: - my daughter is a big Man U fan and could you send
    over young Wayneís birth cert (and his folks) so she can send him a
    birthday card?

    Yours as ever

    SeŠn ” Blarney

    The Scottish Football
    Hampden Park
    G42 9AY

    Dear Brian,

    F*ck off you English c*nts

    Hamish McSporran
    Last edited by Mr JP Fugley; 03-09-2006 at 03:08 PM.
    "there is nothing misogynistic about anything, stop trippin.
    i type this way because im black and from nyc chill son "

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  3. Lounge   -   #2
    manker's Avatar effendi
    Join Date
    May 2004
    I wear an Even Steven wit

    Especially the last bit - and the part where Dafydd got the whole thing arseways.
    I plan on beating him to death with his kids. I'll use them as a bludgeon on his face. -

    --Good for them if they survive.


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