Good Your wife is pregnant.
Bad It's triplets.
Ugly You had a vasectomy five years ago.
Good Your wife's not talking to you
Bad She wants a divorce.
Ugly She's a lawyer.
Good Your son is finally maturing.
Bad He's involved with the women next door.
Ugly So are you.
Good Your son studies a lot in his room.
Bad You find several porn movies hidden there.
Ugly You're in them.
Good Your hubby and you agree, no more kids.
Bad You can't find your birth control pills.
Ugly Your daughter borrowed them.
Good Your husband understands fashion.
Bad He's a cross-dresser.
Ugly He looks better than you.
Good You give the "birds and bees" talk to your daughter.
Bad She keeps interrupting.
Ugly With corrections
Good Your daughter got a new job.
Bad As a hooker.
Ugly Your co-workers are her best clients.
Way ugly She makes more money than you do.