Your Ad Here Your Ad Here
Results 1 to 4 of 4

Thread: tough teacher

  1. #1
    baccyman's Avatar n00b BT Rep: +11BT Rep +11BT Rep +11
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    A school teacher injured his back and had to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body. It fit under his shirt and was not noticeable at all.
    On the first day of the term, still with the cast under his shirt, he found himself assigned to the toughest students in school. Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, he opened the window as wide as possible and then busied himself with desk work.

    When a strong breeze made his tie flap, he took the desk stapler and stapled the tie to his chest.

    Discipline was not a problem from that day forth!

    Two ship captains were sitting at the bar one night getting good and lit when one turned to the other and said, "You know what gets me, though, is these damn sailors! Oh sure, they're fine for the first few weeks, but on those three-month trips at sea they start getting pretty hard up. With all the whacking off going on, it's a wonder any work is getting done, and it's making a mess all over the ship. I don't know what to do!"
    The other captain smiles knowingly at his companion. "Oldest trick in the book. You take the crew and divide them into two teams. Then you buy about 50 barrels and put them on the ship. You tell the crew that the team that fills the most barrels wins a bag of gold."

    "Well that's a great way to keep the ship clean, but then I'm out a bag of gold every trip!"

    "Not so," replied the other captain. "After you get back to port, take all the barrels together and sell them to the wax factory to make into candles. You make a tidy profit every time."

    The captain pondered this and the next day, he took his friend's advice and divided the crew, bought a bunch of barrels, and set off to sea. Before long, the crew took to the new system and began filling barrel after barrel. When they finally reached port, the captain sold the barrels for a huge profit.

    'This is great,' thought the captain, 'before long, I'll be able to buy a new boat!'

    This went on, voyage after voyage. Then one day, the ship happened back to that very first port. Coming down the gangplank, the captain was surprised to see the cops waiting for him. As they slapped the cuffs on him, the captain cried out, "What's the meaning of this?!"

    "You sick bastard," replied the cop. "Remember all those barrels you sold to the candle factory last time you passed through town?"

    "Sure," said the captain. "What about 'em?!"

    "Well, they made them into candles, sold them to the convent, and now all the nuns are pregnant!"

  2. ** REGISTER to REMOVE This Ad On The Site!! **
    Your Ad Here Your Ad Here
  3. Funny S**t   -   #2
    Seedler's Avatar T__________________T
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Biostar XE T5
    i5-750 @ 4.0 GHZ stable (CM Hyper 212)
    2 x 2GB Cosair XMS3 DDR3 1600MHZ
    Radeon 5850 @ 866/1254MHZ
    Intel X25-M in RAID 0
    WD Caviar Black 2TB in RAID 0
    3 x Asus 25.5" VW266H LCD [Eyefinity]

  4. Funny S**t   -   #3
    maebach's Avatar Team FST Captain
    Join Date
    May 2005
    burlington, Ontario

  5. Funny S**t   -   #4
    DanB's Avatar Smoke weed everyday
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    London, so fuck y'all


Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts