The American Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offeran
early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for
retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight linebetween
two points in his body. The officer got to choose what those two pointswould
The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top ofhis
head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked outwith
a bonus of $72,000.
The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be
measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walkedout with
The third one was a non-commissioned officer, a grizzly old Chief who,when
asked where he would like to be measured replied, "From the tip ofmy weenie
to my testicles."
It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider,
explaining about the nice big checks the previous two officers hadreceived.
But the old Chief insisted and they decided to go along with himproviding
the measurement was taken by a medical officer.
The medical officer arrived and instructed the Chief to "drop'em," which he
did.. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of theChief's
weenie and began to work back.
"Dear Lord!" he suddenly exclaimed, "Where are yourtesticles?"
The old Chief calmly replied, "Vietnam."