Bryant Gumbel...On The World Cup

[Proper Bo]

To stop people being able to stand around in the box, or as it's scientifically known in schoolyard football, "goal mooching".

Thanks. We call it "camping out".

[Mr JP Fugley]

Thanks. We call it "camping out".

[Cheese]

Or they could make a film about the 1966 World Cup but change it to the USA team winning it. Like what they did with that submarine film.

USA win the World Cup

Hollywood prepares to cash in on football success
by Nigel Pearce

Hollywood producers are planning a $50 million film about the United States' socker team, starring Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Provisionally entitled "Sam's Army", the film will feature Stallone as the team coach leading his team to victory against all the odds and will thereby help Americans shed any self-doubt about their beliefs and culture. Schwarzenegger will make a relatively brief appearance as the German manager, who the Yanks beat in the quarter-finals.

Insiders have also revealed that the team then goes on to beat North Korea in the semi-finals before finally lifting the trophy after a nail-biting final against Afghanistan.

Warner Brothers were not prepared to talk about the project but an assistant producer explained the reasoning behind the unlikely scenario. "Our target audience is 16 to 21-year-old Americans who don't want to see the USA losing the World Socker Super Bowl to a bunch of foreigners. I love the game, my son plays it at school — he's a tight end." Controversially, the director of factual amnesiac World War Two thriller U-571, Jonathan Mostow, is tipped to make the film.

The movie is expected to be a great success, with a recent poll showing that nearly 10 per cent of Americans had heard about the World Cup, with an incredible 1 in 30 aware that the States had progressed so far in this year's competition. The press has also picked up the baton, with one leading newspaper clearing page forty-six this week just to run news on the socker team in Korea.

Meanwhile, Paramount has confirmed that rival blockbuster "Ball Park" has already gone into production. The film, in which America beats Cuba in the baseball "World Series" and elicits a grovelling apology from Fidel Castro who admits capitalism is the right way forward after all, has sparked protests nationwide by tree-loving misfit commies.

Universal Pictures is known to be looking for a sport in which America can beat Iran and Somalia.



Sauce

[Busyman™]

Or they could make a film about the 1966 World Cup but change it to the USA team winning it. Like what they did with that submarine film.

USA win the World Cup

Hollywood prepares to cash in on football success
by Nigel Pearce

Hollywood producers are planning a $50 million film about the United States' socker team, starring Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Provisionally entitled "Sam's Army", the film will feature Stallone as the team coach leading his team to victory against all the odds and will thereby help Americans shed any self-doubt about their beliefs and culture. Schwarzenegger will make a relatively brief appearance as the German manager, who the Yanks beat in the quarter-finals.

Insiders have also revealed that the team then goes on to beat North Korea in the semi-finals before finally lifting the trophy after a nail-biting final against Afghanistan.

Warner Brothers were not prepared to talk about the project but an assistant producer explained the reasoning behind the unlikely scenario. "Our target audience is 16 to 21-year-old Americans who don't want to see the USA losing the World Socker Super Bowl to a bunch of foreigners. I love the game, my son plays it at school — he's a tight end." Controversially, the director of factual amnesiac World War Two thriller U-571, Jonathan Mostow, is tipped to make the film.

The movie is expected to be a great success, with a recent poll showing that nearly 10 per cent of Americans had heard about the World Cup, with an incredible 1 in 30 aware that the States had progressed so far in this year's competition. The press has also picked up the baton, with one leading newspaper clearing page forty-six this week just to run news on the socker team in Korea.

Meanwhile, Paramount has confirmed that rival blockbuster "Ball Park" has already gone into production. The film, in which America beats Cuba in the baseball "World Series" and elicits a grovelling apology from Fidel Castro who admits capitalism is the right way forward after all, has sparked protests nationwide by tree-loving misfit commies.

Universal Pictures is known to be looking for a sport in which America can beat Iran and Somalia.



Sauce

That'd be funny as hell if they made that....and tragic.

[spenz]

good for them! ^^