tools

[baccyman]

A person needs only two tools:
WD-40 and duct tape.

If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40.

If it moves and it shouldn't, use the tape.



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A University of Alabama football player was visiting a Yankee relative in Boston over the holidays. He went to a large party and met a pretty co-ed. He was attempting to start up a conversation with the line, "Where does you go to school?"
The coed, of course, was not overly impressed with his grammar or southern drawl, but did answer his question.

"Yale," she replied.

The UA student took a big, deep breath and shouted, "WHERE DOES YOU GO TO SCHOOL?"



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A man appeared before St. Peter at the pearly gates. "Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asked.
Well, I can think of one thing," the man offered. " On a trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota, I came upon a gang of high-testosterone bikers, who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen. "So, I approached the largest and most heavily tattooed biker and smacked him on the head, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground." I yelled, "Now, back off!! Or you'll answer to me!"

St. Peter was impressed: "When did this happen?"

"Just a couple of minutes ago"

[Seedler]

While its uses are many and varied, WD-40 should not be used as a general-purpose lubricant, as it dries very quickly and collects dust. This can result in serious damage to machinery and equipment designed for use with heavy oils when they are lubricated with lightweight WD-40.

Leatherman, the manufacturer of the popular multi-tool of the same name, recommends WD-40 as a post-cleaning lubricant to displace water and prevent corrosion.[2]

Many handymen consider WD-40 and duct tape to be the two most important items in their toolbox. In The Duct Tape Guys' book WD-40, they proclaim, "Two rules get you through life: If it's stuck and it's not supposed to be, WD-40 it. If it's not stuck and it's supposed to be, duct tape it."

lol