true story.

while in a studenty pub in edinburgh last weekend this rather scottish fellow at the bar has this conversation with a wee bonnie lassie.

Oaf: you have the biggest eyes i've ever seen
girl: thanks
Oaf: i'm sorry but i think you're gorgeous
girl: thanks
Oaf: (to me) you ken whit she is?
Me: what?
Oaf: she's a pure bobby dazzler, isn't she
me: yeah
Oaf: you ever been cried a boaby dazzler hen?
Girl: what?
Oafrepeats question)
Girl: err thanks

i was considering translating his cried a boaby dazzler into english for her to understand but decided to get another round of hideously overpriced flavoured vodkas instead.