Two baby boys find themselves next to each other in different carts in a supermarket. One says to the other in an excited voice, "Are you still breast-fed?"
The second, with a mournful and thoroughly fed-up attitude says, "Yes, and I wish I wasn't."

The first one says incredulously, "Why? It's fantastic!"

Comes the reply, "Not when you have to share it with someone who smokes cigars."

A waitress became violently ill while at work and was rushed by ambulance to the emergency room. In typical hospital fashion, she was placed on an examining table and then all but ignored for the next half-hour.
Finally, she noticed a doctor out in the hall and yelled, "Please help me!"

"Sorry," he replied, "it's not my table."