While driving through Alabama, a guy sees a sign in a yard that says "Talking
dog for sale. Please go to back yard." The guy goes to the back yard and sees
an old black mutt.
Guy: "Are you the talking dog??"
Dog : "Yep, that'd be me. I discovered this gift as a pup and it has taken me
all over the world. I worked for the government. The CIA placed me in foreign
state houses, embassies and the like. I was a top spy for 9 years running;
gathered lots of top secret information but all the jetting around was
getting to me and I wanted to settle down. I came back to the States and took
a job with National Airport Security. I would just sit by shady looking
characters and uncovered all sorts of things from drug deals to terrorist
plots. I have been decorated many times with medals and honors. Meanwhile I
got married to a sweet little bitch and had a mess of pups. They are grown
and gone now. Sadly, none of them can talk. The bitch took off one night and
I haven't seen her since. I am retired now and just taking it easy. Yep, sure
has been quite a life."
The guy is speechless. He walks to the back door and asks the owner how much
he wants for the dog.
Guy: (hollering through screen) "How much you want for this dog?"
Owner: (from inside the house) "Ten dollars."
Guy : "But this dog is amazing. Why would you sell him so cheap??"
Owner: "Cause he's such a liar! He didn't do any of that shit!!"