Getting baby to sleep?

[100%]

We moved alot this past year and mainly stayed in one room places etc so baby sleeping technique was simply to cozy him to sleep.
He is now one year old. He finally has his own room.

His mom is now abroad for ten days so i decided to try the other technique.
Normally she would lie next to him and lullaby him to sleep, but i can't handle the duration it sometimes takes 2 hours and gets really annoying when he gets up.

I heard from other people that one should bath him, put him to bed cozy for a bit then leave, he begins to cry, then dont go back for 5 minutes, calm him down, no picking up, then leave - he cries again - then come back after ten minutes etc etc.

Have any of you done this technique? They say it takes about a week... I am on the third day and it is driving me nuts and seems very unfair to the child (plus my neighbours are giving me evil looks).


I read on the web that there 2 idealogies - the cozy method or cry it out method - both have advantages and disadvantages.

[Barbarossa]

Yes, we've tried the controlled crying technique, and it does work, but it's hell while you are doing it.

We went through this a couple of months ago. It took about 5 days for her to get the message, and learn how to get herself to sleep.

We were doing 2 minutes, 4 minutes, 8 minutes, 16 minutes, etc. The first night it took about 2 hours, then an hour and a half, then an hour, now she can usually get herself to sleep within 10 minutes.

Even now though, if she gets too tired and stressed, or is teething (like tonight), we have to go through it again a bit longer. It's hard, you have my sympathies...

The worst time was when she had learned to pull herself upright, but not how to get down again! She'd just stand and cry in the cot. One night I had to go in and lay her down 35 times or more

Ignoring her would mean she would eventually fall over and bang her head. Why do they make cots out of hard stuff like wood?

We also had to remove the mobile from the cot, because she kept swinging on it

Anyway, good luck, and stick with it, it will get better

[Barbarossa]

In the time I wrote that post, she's settled down to sleep

[100%]

@Barbarossa Thank you i needed that.
So when my wife comes home then i must prevent her from lullabying to sleep, no?
She loves it so much...

They say the disadvantages of the crying out method are that
-the parents my become "immune" or unsensitive to the baby's cries (i have noticed this during normal day cries)
-The child gets an unhealthy relation (fear?) to sleep and darkness and may affect him/her later in life
-The child may have "distrust" towards the parents. (Great i get all the blame, while she is off eating exotic meals etc)

Anyway my parents did it to me, and i think i turned out rather fantasticly abnormal.
Can't expect a baby sitter or grandparents to cozy with him for 2 hours.

The horror
-

[DanB]

It used to really get to me when my little bro's had colic and when they would cry for hours with the little tears rolling down their faces

[Barbarossa]

The first time we did it we were like "What if she wakes up in the morning and hates us", but of course, when morning came, she was as happy and smiley as she always is.

We've got a lullaby CD that we play in the background, as security, there's nothing wrong with lullabies. I think it's the rocking and cuddling to sleep that in the long run is counterproductive, because then they come to depend on that, and eventually of course, you must take it away (when they leave home )

I'm sorry to say she is a bit fond of her dummy at night, which is a future problem we are storing up for ourselves, but there you go.

To avoid the fear of darkness, she has a nightlight in one of the sockets, and if she really can't settle, the room-light is left on dim until she goes to sleep.

I wouldn't say we are immune to her cries now, it's a different sort of crying, you know? It's hard hearing her cry though, and knowing that there is something you can do to stop it (i.e. going in and picking her up), but you know that you shouldn't really.

Yes, it's hard.

[Agrajag]

If you muck about with a wean during the night they learn that they can have a playtime during the night.

Make sure they are clean, fed, winded, watered etc. Put them to bed, then that's it. They soon learn that bed is for sleeping.

[Agrajag]

Don't worry about the dummy, that's not the big problem people make it out to be.

[100%]

@DanB Colic is supposedly hell compared to what i am going through

@Barbarossa - yes i have been concidering a cd of his fav chill tunes - will make a recording of mom when she gets back, night light is sort of not necessary in Norway.. but soon

@Agrajag - I wonder what would happen if you did just let the kid play as long as he wanted, when they are smaller they simply fall asleep in your arms wherever.


May i also ask, whether the afternoon sleeping time should be treated the same way (if he is home that is).
I find the afternoon 10/11am sleep easier because he normally is really tired and gives in easier. It ius super easy in the trolly cause he just passes out.
Except for today where I didn't realize that he had to take a dump and he preffers to do it standing up and i kept putting him down
It took 2 hours

I don't understand why it took women so long for their revolution. I am ready to revolt after one day.

[vidcc]

All children are different and what works for one doesn't always work for the others. My 4 have all had their own routine and it took a couple of trial routines to find what works best for each.

A set routine seems to be the key and any changes in that routine will cause a "disturbance in the force".

There comes a point where the child has to be independent at bedtime so you just have to "tuck them in" and with all but one of mine the crying routine you described had to be carried out at some level to achieve this.
I would say that just because the child will get used to it and go to sleep this is not the same as the child feeling secure. My youngest will go to sleep reasonably well but will wake up scared, sometimes almost frantic and needs comforting.......like all children she is a work in progress.