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Thread: Tech Support

  1. #1
    Dear Tech Support:
    Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the
    new program began with unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources.
    In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now
    monitors all other system activities such as: Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0 and Golf 7.5
    I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my
    favourite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the
    uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please HELP!!
    A Troubled User


    Dear Troubled User:
    This is a very, very common problem that men complain about. Many people
    upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities
    and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!
    It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It
    is impossible to uninstall or purge the program files from the system once
    installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this.
    Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings - Alimony/Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation. I also suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.
    The best course of action is to enter the command C:APOLOGIZE because
    ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.
    Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance! It
    comes with several support programs, such as: Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2. However, be very careful how you use these programs; improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5.
    Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend: Flowers 2.1, Hugs 4.3 and especially Diamonds 5.0
    WARNING!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary with Short Skirt
    3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible
    damage to the operating system.
    Best of luck,
    Tech Support

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  3. Funny S**t   -   #2
    j0hn's Avatar leet poster BT Rep: +1
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    lmao, rather amusing

  4. Funny S**t   -   #3
    Seedler's Avatar T__________________T
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    pretty lolable
    Biostar XE T5
    i5-750 @ 4.0 GHZ stable (CM Hyper 212)
    2 x 2GB Cosair XMS3 DDR3 1600MHZ
    Radeon 5850 @ 866/1254MHZ
    Intel X25-M in RAID 0
    WD Caviar Black 2TB in RAID 0
    3 x Asus 25.5" VW266H LCD [Eyefinity]

  5. Funny S**t   -   #4
    maebach's Avatar Team FST Captain
    Join Date
    May 2005
    burlington, Ontario

  6. Funny S**t   -   #5
    Skiz's Avatar (_8(I)
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Nothing a little "Rub N' Tug" 1.0 couldn't fix.

    The FST group

  7. Funny S**t   -   #6
    I've also noticed a problem loading Boat 5.0, Motorcycle 3.1, and ATV 1.2.. All is lost.

  8. Funny S**t   -   #7
    cpt_azad's Avatar Colonel
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Surrey, BC
    Quote Originally Posted by Skizo View Post
    Nothing a little "Rub N' Tug" 1.0 couldn't fix.

    Jeff Loomis: He's so good, he doesn't need to be dead to have a tribute.

  9. Funny S**t   -   #8
    zoeygirly's Avatar Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Heh heh hilarious!


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