Little Barry came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner.
His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell
his mother what he wanted: "Mom, I want a bike for my birthday."
Little Barry was a bit of a troublemaker. He had gotten into trouble at
school and at home. Barry's mother asked him if he thought he deserved
to get a bike for his birthday.
Little Barry, of course, thought he did.
Barry's mother, being a Christian woman, wanted him to reflect on his
behaviour over the last year, and write a letter to God, and tell him
why he deserved a bike for his birthday.
Little Barry stomped up the steps to his room and sat down to write God
I have been a very good boy this year and I would like a bike for
my birthday. I want a red one.
Your friend, Barry.
Barry knew this wasn't true. He had not been a very good boy this year,
so he tore up the letter and started over.
This is your friend Barry. I have been a pretty good boy this year, and
I would like a red bike for my birthday.
Thank you, Barry.
Barry knew this wasn't true either. He tore up the letter and started again.
I have been an OK boy this year and I would really like a red bike for
my birthday. Your friend, Barry.
Barry knew he could not send this letter to God either. Barry was very
upset. He went downstairs and told his mother he wanted to go to church.
Barry's mother thought her plan had worked because Barry looked very
sad. Just be home in time for dinner," his mother said.
Barry walked down the street to the church and up to the altar.
He looked around to see if anyone was there. He picked up a statue of
the Virgin Mary. He slipped it under his shirt and ran out of the
church, down the street, into his house, and up to his room.
He shut the door to his room and sat down with a piece of paper and a pen.
Barry began to write his letter to God.
I'VE GOT YOUR MUM.
IF YOU WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN, SEND THE FUCKIN' BIKE.